Comments on Lessons from a Recovering DoorMat: What Do You Really Want?

Hi Angela,I'm glad that you found this post helpfu...

2008-08-19T11:57:00.000-04:00

Hi Angela,

I'm glad that you found this post helpful. This is os common in women so please don't feel bad. Put all your energy into loving yourself more and becoming a stronger woman. It takes time. You can only teach your kids by example. Be the person you want your kids to grow into!

If you have Word and send me your email address, I'd send you some chapters from my How Do I Love Me? book.

Thank you so much. I just had to sit and cry a li...

2008-08-15T21:51:00.000-04:00

Thank you so much. I just had to sit and cry a little when I read this. It is exactly like me. I have felt like a door mat my whole life -- always living for others -- trying to please others. How do I stand up for me -- and be who I want to be? It seems like my whole life's successes have been because I needed someone - I had to please that particular person - say things just a certain way - because they held my future in their hands - or so it seems. I don't know -- not sure how to break out of this rut. And I'm a single mom -- trying to teach my boys how to be independent and "say what you mean and mean what you say", and "say like it is" -- and all that!! I wish I could be as strong as I am trying to teach them to be.

Hi Patricia,Thanks for sharing! It usually is easi...

2007-11-05T10:44:00.000-05:00

Hi Patricia,

Thanks for sharing! It usually is easier to say what you don't want. If we don't feel worthy, it's hard to stay what we do want. Often those feelings are old habits--residuals from past problems and insecurities--that you can break with consciousness.

I call myself recovering DoorMat b/c I know I can always backslide. I consciously appreciate all that I do, and my imperfect lovely ways. : )

Blessings,
Daylle

I grew up in an abusive alcoholic home where the o...

2007-11-04T00:10:00.000-04:00

I grew up in an abusive alcoholic home where the only person who made all the decisions was my dad. Today, it is still easier to tell you what I don't want rather than what I want. I have worked really hard to get to the point where I can say That's not me. Congratulations on your progress. Just remember "progress, not perfection" and the journey will be easier with less judgments about how you failed. As long as you are learning, you haven't failed. Have a glorious day.

Hi smilie,Thanks for sharing! Awareness is definit...

2007-10-24T11:46:00.000-04:00

Hi smilie,

Thanks for sharing! Awareness is definitely the first step. That helps you to be more conscious of agreeing to things you don't want out of habit. Reading blogs like mine can help you increase your awareness so good for you for seeking them out!

Sounds like you're on your way to breaking old habits! I wish you joy as you grow! It's a wonderful path to travel.

Cheers,
Daylle

I loved this post, it seemed like it was written f...

2007-10-24T10:34:00.000-04:00

I loved this post, it seemed like it was written for me :) I try to read as much empowering stuff as I can, in hope that it will actually affect me enough to get me to spring to action. Your blog is great for that, you're such an inspiration! Thank you!
I'm a 23 years old recent graduate, about to try and start up my career. I've just started to become aware that I am indeed suffering from quite severe doormat issues...I know that I often do things mainly to please others/be appriciated, but being so used to it I don't notice it until afterwards: Why did I do that/say yes to that/spend my time doing this instead of that? Most of the time I don't know. If people ask me what I like, a lot of the time I don't know. I'm so used to doing what other people want to do.
It has gotten better with age, and having been with my boyfriend for four years, I now feel secure enough to truly voice my opinion every once in a while with him (and guess what? He likes it! Why did I think he would not like it/me if I didn't always agree with him? Again, I don't know!) But I still have a long way to go.
I watch movies I don't want to watch when there are millions of creative things I'd rather do, I buy and cook food I don't actually want to eat when I should be applying for a job / develop myself. I meet up with friends I don't really like and do things I don't want to do, which again, is just wasting my time.
But at least I'm aware of it. Awareness is the first step, right?