Law of Attraction in Action: Commitment

This is post 80 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

I’ve encountered many people who I consider bouncers. Every time they speak they’re on to a new project or interest. The one from the time before has been put aside for the newest goal. The trouble is, they often don’t achieve many goals because they jump from one to another without giving any one the proper time and attention to reach them. I used to be a bouncer. I’d get an idea and get very excited. Then I’d tentatively make mental plans to get them done. It was fun until I had to actually do the work. Then things would come up and I’d jump to a new idea and leave the others behind undone.

Bouncing from one idea to another without committing to finishing one is just another version of dreaming. You’ve gotta get out of bed to wake up and commit to the work.

It’s so easy to dream, talk about it and imagine how happy you’ll be with the results. I used to love doing that until the reality hit that I wasn’t making progress because I didn’t dig in and focus on making it happen. The fun can be more in the visualizing an idea and thinking about its rewards. Committing to accomplish it can be the part you try to avoid because it seems too hard. Making phone calls can seem unpleasant, asking can seem scary, staying on top of people can seem tedious. The Universe picks up on this and returns those things.

When it’s not fun anymore, many people move on to the next dream. Then they wonder why nothing ever manifests for them.

A lack of commitment to what you want tells the Universe you’re not serious about getting it. You’d be serious about a wish fairy putting it into your lap. But you’re not willing to do whatever it takes to commit to see something you say you want through. Talking about the good points of it happening helps create the necessary emotion. But commitment is another necessary component to manifesting.

If your actions demonstrate that your commitment to a goal isn’t strong, it’s harder to attract what you want.

I began to write books many years before I was published. At one time I was writing at least 8 different books. I’d work on one for a while, then jump to another. Getting an agent seemed scary. Actually, the real scary part was having my ability as a writer judged. My confidence wasn’t strong like it is now. Since I love writing, it was fun to work on my books. For years I ignored the endgame—getting published—and almost played at being an author. I jumped between all the books until I had to make a big decision.

Do you want to keep being a bouncer and never achieve a goal, or do you want to commit to achieving one?

I finally committed to choose one book to focus on developing enough to get a deal for it. It actually was much easier than I’d imagined when I avoided it. After I got my first book deal, it was easier to do more. Fear can magnify the potential negatives of the process. If you bounce from project to project or goal to goal without bringing any to fruition, ask yourself why. I mean really ask. I was scared that my writing would be rejected. I finally accepted that if I didn’t submit it, I was rejecting it. So I could only get something better if I tried to get a deal!

Pick ONE goal and commit to doing each step to reach it. Force yourself to get past self-inflicted roadblocks created by fears or lack of confidence.

Fears are overcome by doing. Confidence is built by doing. The Law of Attraction responds best when you’re doing the work. It doesn’t matter how many teensy steps are needed to do it. You can do it with a strong commitment and faith that it will attract what’s needed. A lack of commitment foils that kind of attraction.

Les Brown said, “You need to make a commitment, and once you make it, then life will give you some answers.”

If you know what you want, commit to doing things to make it happen. Begin by putting it out to the Universe in your thoughts and then doing whatever work is necessary to make it happen. Your thoughts and actions should demonstrate you’re committed to manifesting what you want. The more commitment you show, the more support you attract. Then you’ll stop bouncing between goals as you reach one at a time, which will motivate you to do a lot more!

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Kindness vs. DoorMat

This week Anonymous asked a question in the comments on my first post of this blog, Recovering from DoorMat Syndrome. The answer wasn’t simple and there are lessons in this situation that can help many of you so I’m addressing it here. Anon (who I’ll identify as “she” though I have no idea about who this person is) explained that for years she’s cared for her neighbor's pets when they go away—several times a month. The husband travels for work and his wife usually accompanies him. Anon has compassion for the animals since if she doesn’t care for them, nobody does. But it’s taking its toll on her as it’s a bit of work and time. But Anon has her own dog to look after.

Anon works from home sometimes, like I do, and people often think that means we’re on call for their needs since we’re home.

When the wife had surgery and was on crutches, Anon was asked to look in on her. She wrote that she had the flu but felt obligated to check up on the wife. Anon had a lot of work to do and felt worse than the wife on crutches, who was able to travel with her husband on them but needed Anon to help when she was home. Anon feels obligated to keep helping and has compassion for the pets. Kind people can get a stronger sense of obligation to pick up other people’s pieces when compassion is strong. There are lessons in this:

Lesson 1: Being home DOES NOT mean available to others for favors!

Anon is concerned that if she says no, they can see she’s “home and available.” You're entitled to take care of your own needs, including enjoying free time if you have some. Since I work at home, people think I can listen to their problems at any time or get together for lunch or keep them company when they have free time. It used to drive me crazy until I learned the truth. You have a right to be busy when you’re home, even if you’re busy reading a book.

Lesson 2: You do NOT have to give your time away just because you have some or others think you can rearrange your schedule for them.

Your time is YOUR time. YOURS! To share or use for what YOU like. I’ve had to set some strong boundaries with people who thought it was okay to call or stop by any time. Unless I say otherwise, I’m off-limits during the week from 9-6. My boss is tough about this. I’M the boss and make rules to take care of ME. It’s important to do have them with people who feel they can infringe on your time.

Lesson 3: Instead of saying no each time, let people know what restriction you have for giving time to others.

Of course you should help when you can. But in the case of Anon, she wasn’t asked for favors. Her neighbors assumed it as a given when they “asked.” Anon calls it asking. I don’t. It was basically telling her when they’d be away and thanks for helping out. Asking offers a choice. It was never Anon’s choice. It was her permanent job, on a frequent basis.

Lesson 4: DoorMats delude themselves about calling obligation favors. But it’s not a favor if was not your choice or desire to do it.

Being a DoorMat stirs obligations. Recovering from it give you choices. It’s better to avoid any favors that can become habits by always saying yes. Then people expect you too, as in Anon’s case. She got herself into a rut she feels stuck in. And you can’t blame people who take advantage if YOU let them! It’s your responsibility to set boundaries and help people break the habit of always expecting you to help out with something. You can learn the Power of Saying No!

Lesson 5: Someone else’s situation isn’t your responsibility.

The glue that keeps Anon stuck is compassion for her neighbor’s pets. Anon says that nobody will care for them if she doesn’t. Somehow I think the neighbors will have to find another solution, or the neighbors should be reported for abuse. THEIR animals aren’t her responsibility. The neighbors enjoy traveling together several times a month while Anon plays the martyr at home, for the sake of the pets. When I was a DoorMat I’d have done the same thing! Today I’d tell them they must make other arrangements, and they will. Or they can get rid of their pets since they’re gone so much.

Lesson 6: No one can take advantage of you unless you say yes!

You can turn people down and set boundaries. It’s your choice to acquiesce to a request. Think before you say yes. You can say no without saying no. The neighbors give Anon gifts for her services. She doesn’t need them. Some people think they can buy someone’s favors. But they don’t make up for what she loses. This situation makes Anon unhappy. That’s a good reason to tell them that it’s become too much for her and she can’t do it anymore. Maybe once in a while. But not several times a month for days.

There’s no need to explain too much. You don’t owe the recipient of your favors a lengthy excuse since you’re doing nothing wrong by bowing out. Explain that it’s interfering with other things you have to do or that it wears you out too much or whatever comes to mind. Don’t apologize profusely. I’d preface it with “I’ve been doing____ for years and hope that you appreciate what it took for me to do it but I can’t continue for many reasons.” You don’t have to tell the reasons. It’s your RIGHT to choose how you spend your time. Suggest they find a teen in the neighborhood that they can pay to do it. Continue to be friendly.

Lesson 7: Being a good person (neighbor, friend, co-worker etc.) does not mean sacrificing your time, pleasure, sanity, health.

Anon also said that the neighbors do other annoying things but she tries to be a good neighbor despite this. Redefine good neighbor. Wave hello. Bring their trashcan to the curb if it rolls away. Loan some sugar. But being a permanent pet caretaker is above and beyond, unless you love them so much you look forward to spending time with them. Of course it’s fine to do favors when you don’t mind or want to help someone you care about.

But when you find yourself complaining about it or resenting the person, it’s time to stop!

Years ago I had a friend who traveled for work a month at a time occasionally. I offered to get her mail and water her few plants once a week. I knew how much it meant to her to know her place was in safe hands and was happy to do it. It was no big deal to walk to her place once a week. Watering took about 10 minutes. I love taking a walk and there was no schedule to contend with like caring for pets. If I was a day or 2 early or late it didn’t matter. She always brought me over the top gifts, which were unnecessary, and took me out for a nice dinner when she returned. But I just did it to give a friend peace of mind while traveling.

Anon’s neighbors aren’t her friends. They’re her burden. I advise her to take steps to end this obligation. If it’s uncomfortable, slowly back out. Make excuses request by request until you break their habit of asking. DoorMats jump to do favors at their own expense, which is NOT NICE. Nice people on top set boundaries.

Kindness doesn’t mean always helping out. It means doing what you can when you can. Be kind to yourself and set boundaries with others! You’ll be happy you did!

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Law of Attraction in Action: Running from Problems

This is post 79 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

A woman I’ll call Tara came to me years ago. She was unhappy. As we spoke, I could feel her struggling to act cheerful when she clearly didn’t feel that way. Tara was unnerved at getting older and didn’t like the work she did but couldn’t figure out what she did want to do. She lived in NYC and said she was done with it. I told her the problem wasn’t NYC but that she was unhappy inside, which reflected in everything she did.

Discontent attracts more discontent!

Tara refused to see that. She sublet her apartment and moved far away in search of happiness. Sadly, she didn’t find it and came running back to NY after 3 months, saying she missed it. Tara tried to make it work for the next year but left for another city when her unhappiness got too much for her. This became a pattern she couldn’t break. She’d move to another city, convince herself this was the solution for her unhappiness, talk about how great it was, and then return to NY even more disillusioned that she couldn’t find what she wanted.

You can run but can’t hide from your inner issues. They go with you wherever you go!

People often think that a new location will fix what’s wrong with their lives but that rarely works. When you’re not happy, fixing what’s blocking happiness is an inside job. Tara wasn’t happy with herself. Her self-loathing was evident to me, which also meant it was evident to the Universe. The more she tried to run away from her unhappiness, the more unhappy she became. She did everything she could to change her life on the outside, but could not look at herself and see where the problem originated from.

A new location doesn’t change who you are or what you feel about yourself. Nor does it erase problems. Only YOU can do that!

Each time Tara moved, she brought more than just physical baggage with her. All her issues went with her too. She’d revel in starting over in a new city for a little while. It was fun. But after she settled in, her inner unhappiness reared its head and life didn’t feel good anymore. Moving to a new city far from home can be a tough adjustment even when you feel good. But when you don’t love yourself and your inner thoughts and feelings are in turmoil, moving can lead to even more issues.

External efforts don’t heal inner wounds. And there’s little positive stuff that you can send for the Law of Attraction to work with if your inner emotions are negative.

When I was a DoorMat, I looked to others for fulfillment and happiness. I had to have a man to complete me. Being alone to do anything was out of the question. I looked for every external way to soothe the hurt I felt inside but only attracted more hurt. It took many years of unhappiness to finally accept that I had to work on me, and develop my self-esteem from the inside out. Learning to truly love myself was the answer! The more I loved me and my self-esteem grew, the bigger the vehicle I had to leave DoorMatville on.

Inner healing and love attracts peace with yourself. The best part of it is that everyone can have it and it doesn’t cost anything—except for shedding negative baggage.

I kept telling this to Tara but her strong denials made her deaf and blind to reality. She bought herself more clothes. Took a trip, but returned with the same baggage she’d always had, except that it increased since it attracted more in her journey. If you’re unhappy and looking to see what you can change in your life, look inward. Ask:

• Do I love myself?
• Can I accept me exactly the way I am right now?
• Am I WILLING to look inside and work on healing inner wounds?
• Am I WILLING to work on loving and accepting myself?

Be honest about your answers! Denial can skewer your perspective. Everyone can use more self-love. I like having as much as I can. I’ve had many posts on how to show yourself more love and will continue to post on this very important topic. Please be more conscious about doing loving things for you. Self-kindness helps to heal. Sometimes you might need therapy with a professional.

Taking steps to become a whole person who accepts him/herself as you are lightens the baggage you carry with you.

Negative baggage attracts negative circumstances, no matter what you do on the outside or where you move to. If you want to be happy, make an effort to face the feelings you may try to stifle or run away from. As you do, you’ll get closer to a place that makes you happy no matter where you are. Then the Law of Attraction can support your happiness!

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Canceling Plans

I had a rough few days over the weekend, running around a lot in the rain, then rushing home to finish up a deadline. My allergies were kicking in so my nose and head were a little stuffed. It was an unusual rainy pattern here in NYC that just hung out over us and made me more tired. I woke up on Saturday with a headache from the dampness and chill of 40 degrees. As I watched the rain coming down hard, the last thing I wanted to do was go out.

I’d made plans for that evening to get together with someone who lives out of the city. The day before he said the rain wouldn’t keep him from coming in. I agreed that we’d get together. “Rain won’t stop us!” we affirmed. But in the morning I didn’t feel that way. I’d been a bit ragged lately and the thought of going downtown in the cold rain made me unhappy. But I like to be happy! And what would make me happy is to stay home.

DoorMats keep plans no matter how much it hurts them!

While I don’t like cancelling on someone, sometimes it’s gotta be done. Making the decision to cancel lifted my spirits. Hooray! I can stay home! Be warm and dry. Years ago if I did that—which I probably wouldn’t have unless I was very ill—I’d have been plagued with guilt, which would have ruined my joy in staying home. Good girls believe they shouldn’t back out of a commitment. Period! While I do try to honor plans, I now also honor my needs. That’s one of the most important lessons I learned on the way out of DoorMatville.

Self first! Some people see that attitude as selfish but it’s NOT. It’s your right!

Leaving DoorMatville helped me to stop seeing most things as obligations. While I don’t cancel plans lightly or do it if I know the other person is counting on me to go or will be very disappointed, I’ve accepted that it is okay when you really need to. On Saturday I did. I haven’t seen my friend in a while and was looking forward to our going out. So I did want to go. But, the weather and how I felt was a big enough deterrent to cancel.

Occasionally canceling plans that you will make you unhappy to keep is okay.

If you find yourself wanting to cancel on someone often, ask yourself why you bother to make plans with him or her. It’s better to avoid canceling by not making plans in the first place. If you do make them, don’t cancel lightly. I was really feeling under the weather—literally—and believed it would hurt me to go running around in the rain tonight. That was a good reason to me. My health is a major priority now that I love myself. And, I try not to make plans in the first place with someone I’d want to cancel on easily.

But taking care of self is the most important priority to make.

This doesn’t mean making yourself happy at someone else’s expense. I gave my friend plenty of notice by calling in the morning and you know what? It turned out he was wishing he could cancel too, since the gale force winds and rain made him not want to schlep into the city. So it actually worked out fine. But if I was accompanying someone to an event they wouldn’t go to alone, I wouldn’t leave them unable to go. The same would also apply to having expensive tickets to a show. But, when my health is the issue and the plans weren’t major, it seemed more right to cancel.

I had a lovely evening at home Saturday! Knowing that I did that for myself added another level of satisfaction. I honor plans I make 99% of the time. You should too. I hate people who cancel often since it inconveniences me if I held time for nothing or have to find someone else to go somewhere with me at the last minute. But if someone does it rarely, I understand more. But when necessary, always remember that your well being should come first.

If your reason for bailing is legit, apologize and keep guilt out of it. Enjoy being able to do what's best for you.

I remember the first time I actually allowed myself to cancel plans after a lifetime of living in a state of obligation. I was exhausted from an intense week and not sleeping well. I was meeting a friend for dinner. In the past, nothing would have mattered except that I had to show up. HAD TO! DoorMats have to have to! As I dreaded the thought of going out, I remembered I didn’t live in DoorMatville anymore. So I called and asked for a rain check, explaining I didn’t feel well. I wasn’t hit by lightening or cursed forever. Nor did I lose the friend. Instead, she said she understood and we rescheduled. I got to go to bed early so I felt better the next day.

I still remember getting into bed with my book and a cup of tea and smiling ear to ear with the joy of knowing it was okay to can plans I wasn’t up for.

The glow I had that first time was profound. No more obligations! Yes, I do want to honor plans I make when I can. But not at the expense of my health. Taking control of your time is a lovely gift for you. Don’t cancel lightly but cancel if it’s for your highest good. It’s okay! ☺

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Law of Attraction in Action: Attitude

This is post 78 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

I hear the word attitude used in a variety of ways. I define it as your view of life, or yourself, or something specific, that reflects in the way you carry yourself and behave. You may think you’re coming across in one way but your attitude can betray your deeper feelings. It can send the right or wrong message to people, and to the Universe.

Your attitude helps to create the emotions needed to get the Law of Attraction to work for you the way you want it to. Or, it thwarts your desires.

I’ve seen attitudes that mask deeper feelings. An air of superiority can cover insecurity. Being overbearing in trying to make decisions for everyone can come from fear of not feeling in control. You may say you love everyone but your attitude can say differently if you ridicule people or put up walls when certain types of people interact with you. It’s especially important to be cognizant of your whole attitude when you want something specific.

Your attitude can set expectations, even if you want the opposite of it.

People who’ve been burned in a relationship say they want to meet someone good for them but, if their attitude towards men or women in general is negative—“Men can’t be trusted!” or “Women always use me for my money”—your message to the Universe is that you’re not ready for a relationship. I believe that attitude is a big reason that people don’t attract the kind of romantic partner they say they want.

An attitude based on past experience keeps you from manifesting the best you can in the present.

Your attitude can change from work to play. You may be happy in your personal life but believe you’re undervalued at work and it shows in your attitude, which can be defensive with those around you. If your attitude reflects feeling undervalued, that’s what you’ll attract! If you have a more friendly, open, positive attitude, more comes to you. You never know what’s going on beneath the surface of someone’s attitude, just as people can’t read your inner thoughts.

And the Universe picks up on your most blatant attitude.

A few years ago I had a client I’ll call Jay. He walked in to see me with a cocky attitude. He was good looking, in great shape and made good money. Jay bragged that with the odds of women to men in NYC he could get any woman he wanted. He was 37, had a really good game with women and his attitude screamed arrogant. His attitude toward women made me want to smack him. Each was a conquest that would fall for his lines and moves. As he got comfortable with me, Jay let his guard down and his insecurity came out.

His attitude masked fear that if he stopped acting like a player, he wouldn’t get women.

I asked if he’d ever been in love. “Not really” he said. While Jay had been with MANY dozens of women, the relationships had all been as shallow as his attitude. He admitted he did want to get into a meaningful relationship and didn’t know why he couldn’t attract a loving woman. He’d been with models, supersexed chicks, and other hotties. But not one had been sincerely affectionate or loving. Yes, he had fun. He thought he was happy. But as he saw friends in close relationships, he realized that everything he attracted was superficial.

While it can be helpful to fake confidence until it’s real, it should be on a positive, healthy level, not with phony intentions.

Jay couldn’t attract a real, positive, caring woman because his attitude reflected women as goals to conquer, not to love and be loved by. He thought he was happy with the women who looked gorgeous wearing tons of makeup, designer clothing and their own attitudes of being hot. As his walls fell during our sessions, we worked on how to change his attitude about women and his role with them. It took him some time but he’s now happily married with a baby on the way.

Earl Nightingale said, “A great attitude does much more than turn on the lights in our worlds; it seems to magically connect us to all sorts of serendipitous opportunities that were somehow absent before the change.”

Years ago a friend from a small town moved to NYC. He questioned me when I went up to Harlem by myself or walked home late at night. His attitude about NYC was that it’s easy to get mugged. I told him that wasn’t true but he walked around with an attitude that people were out to get him. He walked cautiously on the lookout for trouble. He wasn’t friendly in public. I wasn’t surprised that it took only 2 weeks in NY for him to be preyed on by a group of young punks.

I’ve walked home at 1AM from downtown alone yet this strong guy was jumped at 5:30 in the evening in a busy, normally safe neighborhood!

I walk in friendliness since I expect to be safe. My friend’s attitude reflected his nervousness. Fortunately he got away from the guys before they took his wallet. For him it was proof that NYC is a dangerous place. For me it showed how his attitude of walking around viewing everyone as a potential mugger got him mugged! I’ve lived here my whole life and never once had even a close call. I have a loving attitude about all people and feel safe no matter where I am. Of course I’m more alert late at night, but I don’t walk in fear like he did.

Do your best to match your attitude to the intentions you want to manifest.

Pay attention to your attitude in different life situations, and to life in general. What beliefs are reflected in it at work, with friends and family and about yourself? Determine if it’s consistent with what you want to attract or counterproductive for attracting what you want. Do you approach situations in a defensive way or with an openness to great possibilities attitude? Do you reflect preconceived notions based on past experiences? Or is your attitude one of “All is well and good things are coming?”

Change your attitude and attract more good!

When I felt like I wasn’t worthy of much my attitude reflected that and I didn’t get much. Now I know I deserve all the gifts that the Universe has to offer and my attitude is open to it all, with joy and gratitude. Do an attitude check and help yourself attract a lot more!

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Dr. Friedemann Schaub on Self-Healing

I'm delighted top have Dr. Friedemann Schaub as my guest today. More and more, Western medical doctors are recognizing the benefits of healing methods beyond just taking traditional medication and that we have the ability to help ourselves heal. I've done it many times! Dr. Schaub works with people to help them improve their health using both inner tools and his medical background. Below he explains his 9 keys for making self-healing work for you!

The 9 Keys to Self-Healing 

by Dr. Friedemann Schaub

After studying the human body and mind from all different "angles" for almost two decades, it became very clear to me that we all have an unlimited capacity to heal and change. However, most of us have not learned yet how to access this self-healing power or even trust or believe in such a potential.

The following 9 keys are an opportunity for you to explore and utilize your natural ability to heal. Whether you are currently dealing with a physical, emotional or mental challenge and receiving medical treatment or not, these 9 keys will allow you to access your self-healing potential and accelerate the healing process. There is really nothing you can do wrong - just do it and enjoy.

1. Focus on health and healing rather than disease.
 Remember that you are not your disease – your disease has been “created” by your body and the body can “uncreate” it as well.

2. Find good reasons why you want to heal.
 The more incentives / motivations you come up with, the better. Pay attention to the small “stuff”, that makes life worth living (e.g. a hug from a friend, a wonderful meal, a beautiful sunset, the kindness of a loved one, the joy of being there for somebody etc.)

3. Give specific “orders” to your body and your mind what you want it to do. 
For example: If you have pain, tell the body to create ease and comfort; if you are dealing with a tumor, tell your body to let it “melt” away; if you have emotional challenges, tell your mind and body to create inner peace, harmony etc.

4. See the disease as an opportunity to learn and grow.
 Identify the metaphors of the illness – if the illness had a message for your, what would it be. Notice the messages of the symptoms you are dealing with – sometimes symptoms can be taken very literally (“pain in the neck”, “heaviness in the stomach”, “stiffness in the joints”). Also search for significant emotional events, traumas or inner conflicts that were preceding the illness. Find ways to heal these conflicts and emotions so that your unconscious mind and body are not pre-occupied and can focus on physical healing (for example through Time Line Therapy® , NLP, Hypnotherapy, Counseling, Energy healing etc.).

5. Use visualizations and creative imagery to stimulate your self-healing potential. 
If you are taking medication, include what you would like your body to do with the medication (e.g. maximum effect without side-effects). Books and tapes by Dr. Bernie Siegel, the pioneer on using visualization to heal, are a great resource.

6. Never give up hope / trust.
 Always look for evidence that you can heal and are healing. Avoid listening or “buying into” negative prognosis, statistics... Surround yourself with positive people, positive life and health affirming messages.

7. Use meditation and relaxation exercises on a daily basis.
 Meditation and relaxation have been shown to be very beneficial to treat chronic pain, migraines, hypertension and other chronic illnesses. Relaxing the mind and the body also activates our immune system. Even 10 minutes per day will make an enormous difference. A great way to start is to simply to find a quite and peaceful place, sit back and focus simply on your breath. After one to two minutes start inhaling for 5 seconds, hold the breath for 5 seconds and the exhale for 5 seconds. You can gradually increase the times to 20 seconds. The effects of this Kundalini Yoga breathing meditation are immediate and 5 minutes of this breath replace 30 minutes of sleep. Other great alternatives to relax are self-hypnosis CDs , which directly stimulate the subconscious mind, massages and other body work etc.

8. Give your body proper nutrition and sufficient rest.
 Healing occurs when our body is well rested and well nurtured. Consult your physician, naturopathic doctor, nutritionist or herbologist to find the proper way to nutritionally support your body.

9. Feed your body with joy, harmony and laughter.
 Extensive research has shown how the enormous healing benefits of joy and laughter. In 1976 the prestigious New England Journal of Medicine published an article by Norman Cousins, who was diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis (also known as Bechterew Disease) a painful inflammation of the spine. His case was so severe that he was given a very dim prognosis. Realizing that negative thoughts and attitudes can result in illness, Norma Cousins believed that positive thoughts and attitudes may have the opposite effect. He left the hospital and checked into a hotel where he took high doses of vitamin C and watched funny movies and shows. He found that ten minutes of laughter resulted in several hours of pain-free rest. He continued this "treatment" until he recovered. Cousins proved that laughter is a very effective medicine and added another important piece of evidence of the power the mind-body connection.
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Friedemann Schaub MD., Ph.D., the founder of Cellular Wisdom, was born in 1965 in the Black Forest, Germany. He received his medical degree from the University of Munich and pursued a career in cardiology at the Munich University Hospital. He also holds a Ph.D. in molecular biology from the University of Washington in Seattle. His research has been published and featured in some of the most prestigious national and international medical and science journals, including Nature Medicine and Circulation. Dr Schaub works with patients and clients via phone or skype all over the world. He lives with his wife Danielle in Seattle/WA. Check out the resources on his website and learn more about him!

Law of Attraction in Action: Generating Emotions that Manifest

This is post 77 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

I wrote my post on Emotions for this series to help you understand the importance of having positive emotional vibrations that accompany your intentions to manifest something. I discussed how feeling the excitement about what you seek to manifest is the fuel needed to make your dreams a reality. Generating that emotion can be the hardest part of manifesting, especially if you’re in a bad place or can’t quite wrap your mind around believing that what you want will happen. Saying “empty” affirmations is better than nothing but don’t work as well.

It’s easy to know that you need to affirm your intentions with feeling, but how do you generate the necessary emotions?

I’ve struggled with this many times. Sometimes I could feel little doubts in the back of my head, diffusing the positive vibrations necessary to attract what I wanted, especially in situations that didn’t work out in the past. Old memories would come into my head to remind me that it might not happen and dampen my attempts to generate strong positive emotions. Then frustration set in as I couldn’t do stimulate the vibrations of feelings I knew were needed.

I believe that creating the necessary emotions begins with convincing yourself that you deserve what you’re trying to manifest, and that you're perfectly capable of getting it.

If you don’t believe you deserve something, that’s the emotion that goes out to the Universe. You may want a promotion really bad but if you worry, even subconsciously, that you won’t be able to do the job, your doubt may be stronger than positive emotions you try to stir. Fear sends out a stronger message too! But even with those feelings you can get to a positive emotional place! I’ve learned to do that and it manifests so much more.

Accept that generating positive emotions can be hard for many of us humans, especially if you’ve experienced many disappointments.

I went for years trying to generate emotions for manifesting, repeating affirmations over and over trying to attract what I wanted. I never noticed that I got more when I really felt the excitement and got little when I didn’t. It didn’t make sense why some things came while others fizzled. Learning about the importance of the vibration sent out was the piece I needed, but it still was hard to manifest excitement over things I doubted or was scared of.

The biggest factor for me has been my strong faith in getting God’s support. That can override almost everything else.

Instead of fighting negative feelings, I began by asking for support in diminishing the thoughts that kept the positive emotions at bay. That made me feel better. Knowing that God was with me enabled me to take more risks. Things would happen that gave me more hope and confidence. That got me excited! The more my faith was reinforced, the more I got excited. The more I got excited, the more I manifested.

You can create a lovely cycle between building faith and manifesting. One can feed the other.

If you’re serious about generating the emotions to manifest, focus on the results, not the process or journey, and the emotions you’ll have when you get there. For example, if you want to have a lot more money, write down all the things you’ll do with it. Picture yourself in situations where the money is yours. Smile at your vision. Feel how good it will be when you get it. Ease yourself into the emotion:

• Start by saying something about getting what you want in the future: “I will love having more money!” That's something you can generate good feelings about since you’re not committing to a belief yet. You would love having more money in the future if it happened. Practice and feel the positive emotions that come with how you'd feel if you had what you want.

• Bring it a little more to having it by just identifying the feelings of having it: “Having more money rocks!” It does, doesn’t it. You’re not committing to believing you have it but you’re generating good emotions about it.

• Own it: “I have lots of money coming to me!” Bring the emotions from the last 2 into this more concrete statement. Keep affirming this with feeling until you don’t have to force real feelings of excitement.

• Own it more by holding onto the emotions you’ve already generated in the other steps: “I have lots more money. Bring it on!” Now you’re talking like it’s a done deal. You may not see it for a while but once you put the emotion out, affirming what you have, the process is in motion. You do have it, and it will show itself at the right time.

• Make the affirmation your own. When you have to keep looking at the paper you wrote one on, you’re not feeling it. The best affirmations for creating emotions are in your own words, from your heart. Even if one you see online sounds terrific, Say it the way you’d say anything else.

Just recently I took it to another level, thanks to Angela Artemis, who writes the terrific blog, Mystic Musings and Meditations. I told her about a physical problem I’ve had for years, which both doctors and alternative practitioners hadn’t been able to help me with. It’s not debilitating or harmful, but is very annoying and often interferes with my sleep. Angela is a practitioner of EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) and offered me a treatment. EFT uses some major acupressure points along with strong positive statements about healing. She said it’s helped many people who found no relief with other methods.

Being open, I got the treatment and lessons so I could do it to myself. I did some verbal exercises with Angela as I tapped different points on my head and body. At the end, she helped me come up with the affirmation to use when doing it myself: “I am grateful to be ____free forever!!!” I did it later in the evening and noticed that beginning with “I am grateful__” helped stir my emotions. I can really generate excitement by beginning an affirmation with “I am grateful for___.”

Gratitude is such a strong tool for manifesting, which is why I continue with my Conscious Gratitude list on Yahoo.

I’ve done affirmations to help my issue for years but haven’t had a lot of success. I probably deep down thought it wouldn’t help and my positive emotions weren’t strong after so long with no success. Gratitude gave me fuel for my emotions. If I say, “I have a fantastic new book deal!” when I’m nervous about getting one, it can take time to generate emotions and my subconscious concerns can seep in. But when I say, “I am grateful” before I affirm what I intend to get, those three words always generate sincere, deep emotion, since I consciously practice gratitude. It’s been astounding for me.

“I am sooooooo grateful” for____. Yeah! Gratitude can truly stir emotions needed to manifest.

Bring gratitude into your intentions! Think about how grateful you are and will be to manifest more. Feel it. Give thanks for it. I even say thanks for getting what I know is coming as if it’s already here since I do understand it IS here—the process of it coming has started and it will show itself at the right time. Trust and be grateful. Let those feelings flow into your affirmations about what you intend to have. As the manifesting begins, the emotions will come easier.

I am so grateful that GREATER success than ever before is coming to me! YEAH!

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Saints Don’t Live Life!

Have you ever been called a saint after doing a HUGE favor for someone. It feels good to be recognized for what you do, as well you should! But often striving for sainthood comes at the expense of your own happiness, time and pleasure. Helping others is NOT your obligation. It's a choice you make.

It's important to give the boot to going above and beyond when it's not good for you!

I’m a good person. I try to help people when I can and feel super good when I give back for all my blessings. BUT, and it’s a BIG BUT, I refuse to be Saint Daylle anymore. Saint Daylle was always there for people. She filled in for canceled babysitters (while canceling her own plans to do so), was late for appointments in order to give someone a lift in the opposite direction of where she was going, spent less on herself to fund others, etc. Most of the time I had little energy left for ME. Saint Daylle was also Ms. DoorMat.

Being a saint about helping others can leave you wounded and unhappy.

I know people like that. They brag about all they do for others, as they deal with their own unhappiness. This post was triggered by a woman who told me she offered to stay with a friend’s elderly mother, while her elderly husband was in the hospital. It was that or the woman would be put in a facilituy until he came home. Being a kind soul, Louisa (not her real name) offered to go to her small town for a week and keep the mom company. It turned out to be a tough time that lasted 3 weeks. From there, Louisa went to her sister’s for a week to help with babysitting. She is drained.

Helping others, except for supporting family and close friends’ circumstances that are critical, should not leave you in need of healing.

Louisa missed her regular exercise and routines. She felt like her friend hijacked her time by putting her on the spot to stay longer. She stayed at the expense of her well being. Helping others is a blessing. Sacrificing your own well being to improve someone else’s well being isn’t one. It’s trying to live like a saint, instead of a human being who needs to limit what isn’t good for them. Louisa had been okay with just the one week. But her friends took advantage.

It’s important to turn requests down when it’s something you dread or feel will make you unhappy.

People can spot saints and ask them for favors often. At first you might feel good accommodating them. But too much accommodating leads to anger, frustration, resentment, and in general, an unhappy feeling. This can really take its toll on your health too! Louisa didn’t feel well after and had to get her mojo back. We all need boundaries on how much to help others vs. how much we help ourselves.

Helping others should be just as much as you can comfortably give, not a sacrifice.

When I was a DoorMat, I was afraid people would disappear if I stopped being nice. I thought I was soooooo nice, Ms. Saint. But I was really Ms. Wimp, Ms. Victim. I complained to everyone that people I catered to didn’t reciprocate my kindness. So, I wasn’t really nice. I was an oxymoron—calling myself nice, yet whining to anyone who’d listen about how people weren’t nice to me. I never considered that I should be nice to me.

There’s nothing nice about being unhappy, no matter how many are happy as a result of your sacrifice.

Real saints don’t live human lives on earth. And I do believe that we’re meant to be loving and kind to ourselves first. Focus on your own bliss! I do try to help others when I can in better ways than I could as a saint. But I know the limits for which I can stretch and bend and give up time I need for me. When you take care of yourself first you become happier and stronger. The happier and stronger you become, the better the quality of what you can give to others.

The more you give yourself, the more you have to give on a healthy level.

DoorMat saints are unhappy. Self-empowered nice people who set boundaries on what they do for others are happy. Giving with limits gives you power over your life. Sainthood doesn’t. People may praise you for being a saint if they get what they need from you. But it’s not nice if it leaves you wanting. Does giving and giving and giving make you happy or frustrated? Satisfied or drained? Grateful or resentful?

If you feel any negative emotions from giving, it’s time to reevaluate what you do.

I must confess. I get a giddy feeling at times when I tell someone I can’t do something that I don’t want to do. I love having free time because I said no. Plus, after so many years of always going along with what others wanted from me, feeling in control of my life is awesome! That control is reinforced with the boundaries I set. You must protect your time, because it's very valuable! Kick out any situations that drain you, unless it's special circumstances for a family member or loyal friend.

When you let go of feeling obligated to be a saint for everyone and become an angel for yourself, life improves on a beautiful level!

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Law of Attraction in Action: Pleasure

This is post 76 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

Are you enjoying your life, thoroughly and completely wherever you are, every day? Most people I speak with don’t seem to. It’s so easy to get caught up in doing what you’re supposed to do—working, doing chores at home, obligatory visits to family, trying to keep up with email, etc. The pursuit of happiness can become just an effort to get through the day and get as much done as possible. Eventually you fall into habits that are practical but don’t make you feel good.

Pleasure can take a back seat to getting it all done. Yet it’s pleasure that attracts the best kind of life!

I realized lately that I’ve been forgetting to make room for lots of pleasure in my life—every day. I have fun sometimes, but have been so immersed in my writing that I’m alone more than I used to be. I do enjoy being solo and get a lot of pleasure from having time to write for many uninterrupted hours. But, I realized recently that I need more balance. I haven’t been attracting as many new and pleasurable opportunities because I’m not seeking the kind of pleasure into my life that I used to have.

Getting into too many daily routines puts your life on autopilot. Like me, you can forget to do what it takes to make doing everything pleasurable.

I realized I needed to recapture my pleasure in daily life! People are surprised to hear this since I say how much I love my life. This is very true! I’m blessed beyond measure. But I’ve also gotten into some ruts that need to be fixed. You know what ruts in the road can do to your car if you keep driving over them. Life ruts can do something similar to the path you’re trying to follow.

Getting into ruts diverts your attention and energy from what you’d like to be your life’s purpose and from having the most pleasure you can.

I want LOTS of pleasure in my life! As I took stock of why I’m not getting enough, I decided to take a huge step. I recently mentioned that I registered for the Mastery program at Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts. Her program focuses on having as much pleasure as is possible. Happy and satisfied people attract a lot more happiness and satisfaction. I want more pleasure! I deserve more pleasure! And I intend to attract it!

When you fall into ruts, it’s important to do what you can to bring more pleasure into your life!

I’ve always been the kind of person who has fun doing whatever I’m involved in. Having a smile and cheerful attitude makes for more pleasurable interactions in my travels. When I had a day job, I loved to joke and bring goodies in to share with colleagues. I play music and dance while cleaning in my apartment. Music is a great way to bring in more pleasure! But my rut left me wanting more. Mama Gena’s Mastery program seemed like the best way for me to shake things up in my life. I’ve wanted to take the Mastery for years, but didn’t because it’s expensive, even with my deeep discount for registering early.

But, as Mama Gena points out, what better investment can you make than one in yourself!?!

So I dove in and registered. The Mastery encourages pleasure and allowing yourself pleasure, which tells the Universe you want pleasurable circumstance. Mama Gena’s concept of pleasure extends to attracting good health and great income earning situations. The underlying component for attracting everything you want is mastering the art of giving yourself as much pleasure as possible. This is how I want to live. I see things on the program that are way out of my comfort zone (in the rut I live in) but I’m determined to conquer it all!

How often do you refer to your life as pleasurable??

Mine is happy and I’m content. But, I haven't been consciously looking for ways to make everything more pleasurable. Doing so will attract more pleasure. When you focus on pleasure you get more! Pleasure puts you into a mindset to attract more goodies. When you’re feeling happy, there are less negative thoughts to impede your desires. Putting out your intentions with a smile is so much more effective than forcing them out as you fight negatives. I encourage you to be VERY conscious as you go about each day. Look for ways to give yourself more. Be creative about looking for ways to bring more pleasure into your life. What small things can you add to attract more pleasure?

• Go out for lunch with a friend instead of eating a sandwich at your desk at work.
• Take a dancercize type of class at the gym instead of always doing a monotonous machine.
• Talk to the ingredients about what a nice day it is when you’re cooking. :)
• Say positive affirmations about what a pleasurable life you have?
• Get out more where you can meet new people, like volunteering, going to networking events, or whatever rocks your pleasure.
• Have a few rounds on a swing in the playground without a child on your lap.
• Smile at everyone you can. Flirt when you can!
• Put your foot down on working too much overtime and use the extra time for your joy.

Find your pleasure points—anything that feels good or brings a smile to your face—and work them! I start Mama Gena’s Mastery program the weekend of March 20th and will share some of my experiences here. Meanwhile I ‘m reading her book, Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts : Using the Power of Pleasure to Have Your Way with the World. The more pleasure you allow into your life, the more you’ll attract. Have a good time living your life! Smiles beget more smiles and makes life a joy to experience. No more just passing time everyone! That’s what I did as a DoorMat and I felt comatose from lack of pleasure. Now I’m going to indulge. Will keep you posted on what happen!

Join me! Look for every way you can to bring more pleasure into your life. That how we empowered people should live!

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series..

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!