Unexpected Blessings

There’s a woman who cleans apartments in my building who lives up in the Bronx in a very poor neighborhood. She appreciates anything people give her that they don’t need and finds homes for it all with her friends and neighbors. I always save clothes and household items I don’t need for Esther and get stuff for her from other people with stuff to give away. She’s a lovely lady and full of gratitude for everything I give her, even when I consider it junk.

I once gave Esther a broken boombox, only because she insisted she’d take it. I'd have chucked it! The next week I saw her and she was excited to tell me that a man in her building fixed it and a girl in her building was ecstatic to get it. I’d have just thrown it out had I not known Esther makes the most out of everything. She’s a good woman who loves helping others and gets pleasure out of taking what people don’t need and giving it to those who have little.

Blessings can truly come back to you in unexpected ways!

I actually cried when I heard this story. Esther has several young kids and took in her grandchildren when her daughter was struggling. Mind you, Esther doesn’t have much money. Her grandson needed gym shorts for school. She told him he’d have to wait until she had spare cash. He came home crying that his teacher said he had to have the shorts and if he didn’t come in with them, he’d fail gym and have to sit in detention. He didn’t want to go to school anymore!

I admit, it’s hard for me to imagine being so strapped for money that you can’t afford to buy a pair of shorts! I realized that’s something I should be grateful for!

Esther is trying to provide for 5 kids on her own by cleaning apartments. After making sure they’re fed, there was little left. That night, she cried and then prayed over and over, asking God for a miracle—to help her find a way to get her grandson gym shorts. He’s very tall and strapping for his age so he needed an adult pair. Before she went to sleep, Esther went to move some bags of clothes she’d brought home that day.

She stood with her mouth open as she noticed a pair of shorts for guys on the top of one bag, exactly what her grandson needed. She cried, this time from joy, when she saw they were his size!

After bringing stuff home for years and distributing to those who need it, Esther was got a miracle when she needed it!

We often don’t realize how much good the stuff we no longer want can do for someone else. It’s so easy to toss out an old shirt or pan or whatever seems old and is replaced by a better one. But there are many people who can use what you can’t. Finding another home for your unwanted items is a blessing to someone who has little. Plus, it helps the environment by recycling instead of adding to the garbage.

For me Esther’s blessing was personal. It turned out the shorts belonged to my brother-in-law. My sister had sent some bags for Esther at my suggestion. The act of giving away old clothes created blessings for a bunch of people! Think before you toss things out!

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Transform Your Environment with Sacred Spaces

I'm a big believer in creating an environment both where you live and where you work that reflects your spirit. It should be organized and have at least some personal touches that make you feel good. So I'm delighted to have as my guest today, Asha Praver, lecturer, teacher, counselor, Spiritual Co-Director of the Ananda Palo Alto Community, and author of Swami Kriyananda as We Have Known Him.

Transform Your Environment with Sacred Spaces

By Asha Praver

We don’t create the holiness of life. We remember it. Just behind the mundane, the divine, is always hovering. How much of that divinity we experience is a matter of where we put our attention. All of spiritual practice is learning to stay focused on the deeper reality behind the everyday events of life.

A simple way to help you remember is to create within your home or work environment sacred spaces. They don’t have to be large, elaborate, or expensive. You don’t have to shock your co-workers or add a room to your house. In fact many small spaces are often better than one large one. With several, wherever you are, you will be reminded.

Sacred spaces, however, should not be shrines to the things of this world you already love. Photos of loved ones, mementos of places you’ve been, pictures of things you’d like to acquire should be kept elsewhere in your environment.

Sacred spaces are to help you attune to the transcendent reality behind these cherished loves, experiences, and desires. “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you.”

Here are three simple guidelines for setting up your sacred spaces.

1. Put your sacred spaces wherever you spend the most time. You want to see them when you enter and leave the house, wash the dishes, work at the computer, talk on the phone, or first wake up in the morning. Put them near, but not in the actual workflow. A wall or a window ledge, for example, is usually better than your nightstand, desk, or the kitchen counter, where everyday clutter can easily encroach on them.

2. Keep them simple. Your sacred spaces should have an immediate spiritual impact on you. Choose things of inherent power that have personal meaning. Sacred symbols like the cross, Star of David, or AUM, or items from Nature work well. Images of gurus or saints, especially if the consciousness in the eyes is clearly visible, are ideal. Make the Dalai Lama, Mother Theresa, Paramhansa Yogananda, or Jesus Christ your everyday companion. Word messages are also good, especially if you can get the meaning at a glance. “Hope.” “Faith.” “God Loves You.” Everyone needs to be reminded.

3. Keep it fresh. Don’t let dust, dead flowers, or burned out candles accumulate on your sacred spaces! If you are neglecting the sacred spaces in your outer environment it probably means you need to give more attention to your inner self as well. If what you have placed there no longer inspires you, then start over. Keep trying until you find those images that resonate with your soul and have an enduring capacity to lift your consciousness. Making a sacred space is a spiritual journey in itself.

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About the Author: Asha Praver is a lecturer, teacher, counselor, Spiritual Co-Director of the Ananda Palo Alto Community, and author of Swami Kriyananda as We Have Known Him. Asha has been trained in yoga, meditation, and spiritual living by Swami Kriyananda, who was a direct disciple of Paramhansa Yogananda. Since 1969 Asha has been a disciple, a meditator, and an intentional community member. Classes on love and relationships by Asha Praver, can be found in the “Talks/Newsletters: CD purchase” section of www.anandapaloalto.org.

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Law of Attraction in Action: Control

This is post 50 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

I’ve been going through a bit of a rough spot. I have so much on my plate but often go in circles. Perhaps it was the higher than usual heat and humidity we’ve been having. It keeps me form sleeping well, even though I have good AC. Kind of permeates me. Being more sedentary in the heat, combined with attending a few parties and more dinners out than usual made me gain 4 pounds in the last few weeks. I’d been doing fantastically well with losing weight over the last year and didn’t like seeing the scale go up.

Plus, paperwork was piling up and the general clutter around me felt bad. I didn’t like seeing so much stuff around. With all my deadlines, I’ve been dropping mail and other stuff on my dining room table. Stuff to be filed was on a chair, then on the floor as the chair couldn’t hold it all. I had a box sitting in the middle of the space I use for an office and couldn’t remember why I kept it, but it sat there screaming at me!.

Clutter, extra pounds, disorganized! Over the last few weeks I sent a message to the Universe that I was out of control since that’s how it all made me feel.

And I continued to feel out of control. Whenever I need to take control I clean. I’ve written about that BEFORE. It’s always good to clear stuff out to make room for new and better things. But while I write about this stuff and live it most of the time, I too can lose myself in the chaos of life. It’s so easy to fall back into old habits when you feel overwhelmed. That’s why I call myself a recovering DoorMat. I can still awaken the tendency to be agreeable if I’m feeling vulnerable but consciousness gets me back on track.

Last weekend I’d had enough! I needed to let the Universe know I was ready to take back control so the Law of Attraction would help me get what I needed.

First I shouted that I was ready to take back control and thought about what action I could take to show I was serious. I felt tired and knew I couldn’t do everything at once. So I thought about what bothered me the most. I didn’t like my weight going up. I was gaining from a combo of being inactive due to the weather and eating a lot of decadent food, and much too much.

Taking control of my health is my priority so I chose to eliminate most sugar habits from my diet. I did that last fall and it had a dramatic effect on my body.

I didn’t completely cut sugar. I broke my sugar habits. Since I was young, I had a Starlight mint after every meal. I love them and often had two or three. It was a habit since I was a teen. I automatically reach for one after eating. So I stopped, cold turkey on October. It was hard. I had to stop myself from reaching for one. I also cut desserts during the week but still allow myself a sweet on Saturday and Sunday afternoon.

Growing up we always had dessert after dinner. While I often had small things, I had sweets every night, again as a habit. I stopped that too. Now on the weekend I have my sweet after lunch, so I’m not doing what I used to. I LOVE sweets and it was hard to let go of them—the first time in my life I did this! During the first week I felt like I was in withdrawal. I drank a lot of water and passion iced tea to cope. And did lots of affirmations, like “I’m taking control of my eating to make my body healthier.”

Taking control felt so exhilarating that I didn’t cheat. And I lost weight just from that.

When people asked me if I was dieting, I said, “No,” I’m just breaking my sugar habits." If I was out and everyone had dessert, I’d have some because it wasn’t a regular habit. But I limited those splurges to a few a month. I’ve slowly lost about 10 pounds since then, and kept them off till recently. While I put things aside to write and make my deadlines, I became more sedentary, left more stuff piling up, and ate more.

Taking back control feels much better!

I didn’t diet but showed the Universe I was serious about losing weight and stopped my desserts and other sweet treats. I began to lose the pounds I’d gained. I’m very serious and the more I talk about it out loud, the more I feel my body responding. Friday I began to get fabulous messages that I was being heard. First someone sent me an article out of the blue about the Law of Attraction that reminded me of things I’d stopped doing. Then I saw someone talk about the same things on TV.

It felt the Universe was sending me cheerleaders. It truly got my head into the right place.

I began cleaning and organizing with a fury. The more I put it out that I had to take back control of my life, the more things happened that encouraged me to do so. The more I took charge, the more I felt better and in control. The synergy was amazing and now I’m much more in control of my life than I was a week ago. Just looking at my clean office makes me smile. So does looking at the scale. I’m still in sugar withdrawal, but it’s getting easier. When I’m tempted to reach for a sweet, I remind myself how much healthier it is not to and that I can resist.

The more you take control of what’s happening now, the more you control what comes back to you.

I feel so much better but am always vigilant about backsliding. It’s soooooo easy to do! But it’s one step, one day at a time. If I begin to lose control, I find something I can take control of, like cleaning out a draw or my file cabinet. Taking control brings many rewards. For me it’s a cleaner living space and healthier body!

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series..

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Intangible Blessings that Impact Others

I’ve talked a lot about the blessing of giving to others. That usually means you do something specific for someone or give them something they need. But I’ve been realizing that while that’s important, what we give mentally can have the biggest impact. Normally giving is seen in the physical sense. You donate money, help a friend fix something, give someone a lift, buy a gift, etc. Those are tangible blessings.

But it’s just as big a blessing, if not bigger, to do something that affects another person’s life in an intangible way.

These blessings are more subtle, since you may not know about the impact you had until way later, if at all. You impact people every day, though most of the time you may not think about it. Doing something small but positive can cause a chain reaction you never know about. You may smile at someone, put them in a good mood and then they smile at someone and so on…

It all boils down to trying to be kind and caring and positive when possible. When you live like that, you create those intangible blessings.

Many people need acknowledgement for what they do. If they’re kind to someone who doesn’t show appreciation, that’s the last time they do it. I hear people swear off friendliness when they don’t see it enough in others. If they hold a door and don’t get a “thank you,” why bother in the future?

Because—kindness is not a give and take! It’s a lifestyle, a mindset, your heart speaking.

I don’t mean you have to do favors for everyone. But being kind and friendly and helpful is based on who YOU to choose to be as a person, and should not be contingent on what other people do. It’s who you are, not what you do for reciprocation only. When I was a DoorMat, I got angry when I helped others but no one helped me. I was a people pleaser in order to be liked and also to get friendship and favors in return. But that’s not being nice! The more kindness and caring you give out because that’s who you are, not for something in return, the more impact you can have on others.

John Quincy Adams "The influence of each human being on others in this life is a kind of immortality."

Whether you know about your influence or not, when you do something that affects a person’s life, it’s a blessing that can live on and on. Think about things you’ve said or done that may have had an intangible impact. I feel blessed beyond measure every time I hear from a musician who says one of my books taught them enough to develop their career or from someone who feels more empowered from reading one of my books or this blog.

A kind word goes a long way. Good advice shared is a blessing. A smile brightens people’s day.

I recently heard from someone who said she’d just left the job she hated, with no idea of what she’d do but faith that it would be fine. She credits my writing for helping her do that. How can I put that into value? It’s priceless to know you’ve impacted someone else’s life in a positive way, whether in a big or small way. Every time I get a letter from someone who said my books or blog helped them, I know I’ve helped to make someone’s life better and appreciate that profoundly. But even when I don’t hear from anyone, I know that doing my best and being kind attracts more to me!

After doing favors to buy being liked, it’s lovely to be in a place that I know that just being me can brighten someone’s day because I usually have a smile and cheery greeting.

Pay attention to how you might make an impact on others. Would you like to be your own colleague, neighbor, friend, etc? If not, try to add some warmth and smiles to your everyday demeanor. Even if no one says anything, you can’t help but have an impact on some of the people who cross your path. There are people who live in my building that always make me happy when they get into the elevator because I’m greeted with a smile and enthusiastic “good morning,” etc. I don’t tell them how I feel but they impact me.

Those intangible blessings you give to others can make more of a difference than buying someone a gift or doing an overt favor.

As you develop an overall nature of being friendly, kind, and cheerful, KNOW that you have an impact on others. It has to happen, even if they don’t tell you. Years ago I’d stop at the same place for coffee every day. One day I was troubled about something and didn’t have my usual cheerful smile. The guy at the counter immediately asked if I was okay and was there anything he could do for me. I was stunned since I only knew him from ordering coffee. He said he looked forward to seeing me each day and thought of me as a little bit of sunshine. Yet it wasn’t till I had a bad day that I learned about my impact on him. Knowing that lightened my bad mood!

Remember that a friendly kind attitude spreads joy, even if people don’t tell you. And it also attracts some good stuff back.

Being a good person is a blessing, to others and to yourself. Every smile you give can impact on someone. Every door you hold open can help a stranger. Live as a person you’d like to encounter in your own life. When someone brightens your day in a simple way, think about how you can learn from them. As you become a conscientiously friendly, considerate and cheerful person, you’ll also become a better colleague, neighbor, parent and friend.

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Law of Attraction in Action: Living as You Want Your Life

This is post 49 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

The last few posts in the series have addressed how we block ourselves from getting what we say we want. Last week was about all the EXCUSES we make for not trying. The week before was about how we impede our dreams with our thoughts. I’m staying with this thread because I want you to go for and achieve YOUR dreams and goals. You have the power to do it. You may not think you do and if you keep thinking that you don’t, you won’t.

But if you can slowly adjust your thoughts, you can be the architect of your own life and live out your dreams.

People often say they envy me for the life I have. I wake up smiling every day. I work for myself so I have the best boss I could ask for and only do things I love! I live in a fabulous apartment in midtown Manhattan and travel when I have time. The people around me are all nice. I’ve done what many consider exciting things, like being on Oprah, working with celebrities, and having a reasonably high profile as an author and speaker. Some people think being a writer is a glamorous profession. I just feel blessed earning a living doing what I’m passionate about.

I never know what every phone call or email may bring me. Just today I was asked if I’d be interested in speaking in Jamaica! Opportunities abound in my world. I don’t know what they’ll be but I do expect them and they come. Since I put a lot into God’s hands, I look forward to receiving what he sees as best for me. I’m always delighted with the results, because I know it comes from a spiritual place that looks out for me. Not bad for a former DoorMat who settled for crumbs of joy!

I’m living the life I’ve CHOSEN—consciously—with my thoughts. Not a life that I’m SUPPOSED to have, doing what I’m SUPPOSED to do. MY life! MY choice through MY thoughts!

As I began a life outside of DoorMatville, I began to notice that when I went forward with my goals, not knowing how they’d be realized but expecting them to be, they were. I remember when I had my first opportunity to go to Europe. Money was very tight but I had to go! After tasting freedom, it was imperative to make up for lost time—all the years I did what others wanted and never once took a vacation that was MY choice. So I bought my ticket with a credit card and left without a worry in the world, KNOWING I’d have the money when the bill came.

I took several more trips after that and always had the money when the bill came!

A big eye opener for me was when my doc once advised surgery for a problem that gave me a lot of discomfort. It was optional but hampered my quality of living. I put it off for ages due to lack of funds. The cost for me was $6,000 out of pocket after what insurance would pay. As my faith got stronger I booked the surgery, and expected the money to be there when I needed to pay the bill. Just before I went to the hospital I was informed that my great aunt who’d died a few months before left all her relatives an equal amount of money since she had no children.

Do I need to tell you what I got? Exactly $6,000! I didn't even know she had money to leave us!

This was how I was introduced to the Law of Attraction, though back then I didn’t know what that was or how it worked. I just knew that if I lived like I had what I needed, I’d have it. Simple! The more I received, the more I believed. It wasn’t until I read You Can Heal Your Life by Louise M. Hay that I understood how my thoughts controlled my reality. It was then that I began to fully let my spiritual power guide my life and consciously controlled my thoughts.

Henry David Thoreau said, "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined."

Live as if you have what you want! I don’t mean go crazy blowing money but test the waters with faith. A few years ago, I spontaneously decided to make my dream of going to Alaska come true, though I had no budget for it. I didn’t quite have enough frequent flier miles but tried anyway and got my ticket somehow. I asked for journalist discounts from the tourist office and got them. Then paid opportunities to write about my trip materialized. I didn’t have to work hard, I just needed to live like I was going and could afford it. In the end, I barely paid for a thing with money not related to the trip! You can read my Solo Chick Alaska blog and see some of my pics of my dream coming true!

If you scrimp on things you want thinking you can’t afford them, you probably never will afford them.

While I respect money and don’t go crazy spending, I buy what I want and know the money will be there when I need it. And I know the right people will come and facilitate me moving forward with whatever I need. When my first agent told me that 20 publishers had turned down my book, All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise, and she couldn’t get a deal for it. I refused to be daunted and got a release from my contract.

The key is truly doing it in faith--not hoping while feeling nervous that it won't happen and you'll be screwed by not getting what you need. I TRULY believe I’ll get what I need, and do!

I continued writing my book, telling people I had a good deal for it, because I HAD to! Someone who believed in me recommended me to my current agent and she got 3 offers for the book. It was my first self-empowerment book and had been turned down by many editors yet I got a hard cover deal with a national book tour! I lived as if I had the deal already and it materialized.

The Law of Attraction read me loud and clear!

I tell you these stories to show it can work if you let it. Yes, you have the power to make it happen just as you have the power to keep it from happening! If you live the life you want with passion and expectation, you’ll eventually grow into it if you can keep your faith strong. I’ve attracted the most wonderful life I could imagine by burning my teaching license, moving into Manhattan with no job, and expecting to earn a living doing only what I love. The more baby steps you take in faith and see that they work the more confidence you’ll have about taking more.

Try it! Being the architect of your own life will bring you so much joy. You just need to guide the Law of Attraction with your thoughts and actions!

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series.

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From Cheating to CHOOSING

I was recently on a train, happily doing a Sudoku puzzle. I do puzzles in ink and it’s a mess if I discover too far down the road that I’ve made a mistake, so I occasionally look in the back at the answers to make sure what I wrote is correct. As I opened the answer page, the guy sitting next to me (a stranger) laughed and said, “You’re cheating.” I was stunned, but remembered that in my DoorMat days, I was embarrassed for anyone to see I checked the answers as I went along.

Now I had a different perspective: Why is it cheating if it’s my CHOICE?

I got annoyed with the guy but didn’t respond at all. The look I gave him said enough (are you crazy?!). I began to think of all the things we call cheating that aren’t cheating and how it can hurt self-image. Cheating isn’t nice. It’s doing something wrong. But I’m not wrong if I want to check the answer to a puzzle that I’m doing for pleasure. I can CHOOSE to do whatever I want!

Using negative words to describe something you’ve done that isn’t bad hurts YOU!

Some synonyms for the word CHEAT are, deceive, defraud, con, take advantage of, and trick. I didn’t do any of those things when I looked at the puzzle answers. I do many kinds of word and number problems and prefer to check the answers as I go. These puzzles are for pleasure only, not to prove to the buttinski on the train that I’m smart enough to do them without help. Yet that word is also used in situations where you might feel guilty about doing something that really isn’t bad, or cheating.

I’ve heard others who also check answers while they do a puzzle say they cheat on puzzles. Yet they’re not deceiving anyone, including themselves, nor defrauding, conning, tricking or taking advantage of anyone. A big one is how many people say they “cheat” on their diets, when all they do it eat something more fattening, which isn’t a crime. But each time cheat is used, your self-esteem gets wounded.

Yet it’s not cheating! It’s CHOOSING to do something that others might disagree with, or that you’d rather not do, or doing things against the norm.

People assume you should finish a puzzle and then look up the answers. My pleasure isn’t in finishing. I love doing the puzzle. So I’d prefer to know if I make a mistake early so I don’t blow the whole puzzle. And it’s OKAY! Now I know I don’t owe any explanations or apologies. Referring to something you do as cheating makes you feel guilty. The guy who accused me of cheating on my puzzle tried to do that to me.

But since I’m empowered now, I believe HE should feel guilty about interfering with my pleasure at doing the puzzle MY way!

People call it cheating when they eat something more decadent than they think they should. Why ruin your pleasure in having a splurge by inflicting guilt? It’s not cheating—it’s your CHOICE. Someone in a relationship who sleeps with someone else is cheating. Copying someone’s answers on a test is cheating. Faking documents or deductions on your income taxes is cheating. Those are all conscious actions, knowing they were wrong or illegal.

Choosing to do something that hurts no one—but it goes against the norm or what you think you should do—is NOT cheating.

Yet so many people perceive themselves as cheaters and then torture themselves with the idea of it, ruining what should be pleasure by seeing themselves as cheaters. I used to be friendly with someone who was always on a diet. I mean ALWAYS! She was very slender and trim but terrified of gaining weight. If she had a bite of my sandwich, she lamented about cheating on her perpetual diet. If she splurged on ice cream, she’d ruin her pleasure with guilt about being a cheater.

I enjoy doing my puzzles while checking the answers and will continue to do so with pleasure. I’ll also enjoy food splurges with gusto. And I will never label myself a cheater because of it. We’re so quick to use negative words when we’re not perfect. I prefer loving ones now! The guy on the train who accused me of cheating must have his own issues if he said that to a stranger who was minding her own business.

Much of what some call cheating is actually choosing to do something that’s not what you think your SHOULD do or that you don’t see as your best or healthiest choice.

Taking a shortcut if it gets you where you want to go isn’t cheating. Nor is eating something fattening, or anything else where you bend the rules for personal satisfaction without deceiving someone else. Watch how you label! Calling yourself a negative name is a self-esteem buster, however subtle it might seem. I love myself much too much to do that now!

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

Law of Attraction in Action: Excuses

This is post 48 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

Last week I talked about how we sabotage making our dreams come true by putting out the wrong message to the Law of Attraction. I hear clients, friends, people I work with, etc., make excuses for not doing what they say they want. They often tell me I just don’t understand, but I do, only too well. I spent many years yearning to get out of DoorMatville but couldn’t budge to leave. My excuses were too strong. They were the Crazy Glue that kept my feet stuck so I couldn’t make the moves I knew I should.

Excuses tell the Law of Attraction that you’re not ready for what you say you want.

It is sooooooo easy to find excuses for not doing stuff. I was a master at it. Fear can make you a master at it. You may see what you want in front of you and get scared of going for it or scared of actually manifesting more. If you’re not confident in your ability to handle what you want, excuses are a perfect way to postpone making moves.

The trouble is, the more you postpone by making excuses, the more you buy into the excuses and the more they become your reality.

Each time you express an excuse for not moving forward or doing something you would—deep down—love to do, the vibes for not doing it get stronger as the Law of Attraction does its thing. Each excuse strengthens the glue that keeps you stuck as they become your reality. I’ve seen that most excuses are only copouts for being scared or not wanting to try to do something and noticed some common ones:

* “It’s not the right time to do it.” NOW is usually the right time. But if you’re scared or doubtful, you think it’s not right. That attracts more reasons for it not being the right time. It’s so easy to postpone dreams and hard to find the right time. There will always be obstacles, no matter when you do it. But people bring their dreams to fruition every day. I sure do! Work on the fears or doubts and then take a step. If you have a family to support, it might not be the right time to quit your job, but you can set the wheels in motion to find a new one. Then you can quit. The right time to begin taking a baby step toward your goal is NOW!

* “I have no idea how to start a business, even though I believe my idea would work.” That’s what books and classes are for. There’s very little that you may want to do that doesn’t have a book, class or person for private lessons. If you really want to do something, learn how and then do it! I had no idea of how to start a record label but went to seminars and hired a consultant to teach me. My label was successful for 5 years! Lack of know-how is not a legit excuse, especially not with what the Internet offers!

* “I have too much on my plate.” I always say that if you can’t make time for something, you don’t really want it. I’ve been working constantly to finish the book I just turned in. But when I got an offer to write another very exciting one, I immediately agreed and rearranged my plate a little. That’s why I didn’t write my blog recently. If your dream is something you truly want, figure out how to give it some priority, even if it takes baby steps and more time than you’d like. Doing nothing will make reaching that goal take a lot longer.

* “I’m afraid to fail.” Well it certainly won’t happen if you don’t try! So what are you losing? Worrying about failing before you even start sabotages your dreams. Faith counters that. When you accept in your heart that the Law of Attraction supports your intentions, you have NO reason to worry about failure. Worrying about failure attracts failure or inaction and tells the Universe you don't believe it will happen. Then it doesn't!

* “I don’t know where to begin.” Take the first, teeniest baby step for achieving your goal. Learn what you need, ask for advice, write down what needs to be done. Then ask your spiritual source for guidance. Whenever I don’t know where to begin, I ask God to show me the best path for my highest good. Then I remain on high alert so I don’t miss an opportunity. I’ve seen something in a magazine that triggered awareness of what to do. Or I hear from someone who can help me. The signs may be subtle but they do come if you’re alert to them. I always get what I need to get something done.

* “I want to ____ but I don’t feel ready to do it.” You ARE ready--from the moment you CHOOSE to be--by putting what you need out to the Universe and EXPECTING it to happen. Put yourself into God’s or the Universe’s hands with confidence, as I do now. The more I do, the more it’s reinforced that I get back my intentions. Things ALWAYS work out when I LET them IF I have faith they will. The Law of Attraction doesn’t let me down, if I don’t let myself down by having doubts. That’s a lovely way to live! My faith gets stronger each time I reach a physical or mental destination at just the right time.

You have the power to manifest and manifest and manifest if you cut the excuses and send the right thoughts out so the Law of Attraction can work with you. Excuses set the Law of Attraction to work against your desires, since it attracts what you think, not what you want. I think about what I want and get it! You can too if you stop making excuses, set positive intentions and let God/the Universe help you. Dropping the excuses tells the Law of Attraction that you’re ready!

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series..

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I Make My Bed Every Day!

The title of this must sound like a weird statement. I make my bed every day! To most people this would seem normal, like brushing your teeth every day. But when I was a DoorMat, I rarely made my bed. It happened when I knew someone was coming over but never on a regular basis. I figured I'd just unmake it at night so why bother making it in the morning?

Looking back, leaving my bed unmade was at least partly rebellion against feeling out of control. It was something I could choose.

I grew up in a home where everything was intensely organized and neat. I had no control over my living space and as a good girl, did as I was told. When I got married, every chore was "women's work" according to my husband. I silently resented that but again did what I was told. I cooked and washed dishes and did everyday things that truly had to be done. But I could live without my bed being made. If my husband didn't like it, he could make it. He didn't.

Low self-esteem helped me tolerate the messiness of my unmade bed.

When I got divorced, I continued my sloppy ways. My bed was always how I left it upon getting up in the morning. It became the norm for me, along with rarely putting away dishes that had been washed. All the clutter became normal to me. Friends commented on how sloppy my place always looked but it just fit with how I felt about myself...until I got on the train out of DoorMatville.

As I began to feel better about me, my habits, or lack of them, mattered more. Before I didn't feel worthy of a nice living environment but now I did!

A newly developed spiritual outlook made me understand that my environment reflected how I saw myself. I began to clean and get rid of clutter. With each spot I cleaned or made neater, I noticed I felt better about me. Pride! That was a new experience. I'd never felt proud as a DoorMat. Shame was more like it. I didn't feel good enough for anything. Now I was freeing myself from those feelings by cleaning and organizing!

I felt jubilant as my place looked nicer and realized it was more than the appearance. I was giving myself control over my enviroment. That was spectacular!

Habits take time to break. Often it can take time just to know you have them. After years of an unmade bed, I didn't notice it. One day I decided that should change. I didn't even know how to make a bed nicely! My efforts weren't the greatest. But when I came home to a fairly neat bed, I couldn't stop smiling and vowed to continue. And I've made my bed almost every day since.

Sometimes I'm in a hurry and have an excuse to skip it. But then I remind myself it doesn't take long and do it.

It might not be as neat as when I have more time, but it's made. I still get pleasure when I walk into my bedroom and see the bed. I haven't tired of it years later. Each time I do it is a reminder that I've taken control of my sloppiness. It felt so good that I extended this control to the kitchen. No matter how tired I am, it's rare for me to leave dishes in the sink or dish drain overnight.

And I must clear the dish drain before I go to sleep. This too makes me smile! I'm in control now, not a belief that I'm not worthy of a neat home!

Breaking old habits is a great way to improve your self esteem. The more you take control of one, the more empowered you feel. Plus, the results will usually make you feel good just to have been done. My bed has become a symbol of how far I've come. The more I maintain my habit of making it every day, the better I feel about me.

Bad habits can be replaced by better ones. Try to take some control back by identifying one of your bad habits and finding a better one to replace it with. It can take time for it to sink in but when it does, YOU are the beneficiary of that new habit. Taking control of your habits is a HUGE blessing that can have profound results, both short term (like feeling good seeing my bed made every day) and long term (the cumulative improvement in my self-image).

Try it and enjoy the results! It truly increases your awareness for having more self-love!

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Changing Your Mind

I'm happy to have Clinical Social Worker and Marriage Family Therapist, Michele Germain, also the author of “The Jill Principle – A Women’s Guide To Healing Her Spirit After Divorce Or Breakup (Llewellyn Worldwide) as my guest.

NEW THINKING
Creating A Healthy Mind

by Michele Germain

Are you trying to “bully” yourself into shape with your self talk? Is your mind flooded with thoughts of self-criticism, should’s and self-imposed pressure? Where did all this negative self-talk begin and why? If you don’t know the answer to these questions then it is time to carefully listen to your mind and find out exactly what it is you are telling yourself. First let me explain where it all begins.

Your negative self-talk begins in childhood. Our natural vulnerability is obvious. When you receive negative messages from your environment, your parents and others, your child’s mind is very impressionable. Unfortunately, those negative messages are taken in and they become part of your self-esteem and self talk.

The negative messages you internalize do not go away, they just become hidden and that becomes part of the negative internal dialog you presently have with yourself as an adult.

Let me explain further. In working with thousands of adult men and women one-on-one and in marriage counseling, I have found that affirmations are simply not enough. Even counseling or psych-therapy where all you do is talk, talk, talk, does not necessarily change your negative thinking.

It is important to connect with the voice of the inner child, name the negative thinking, and acknowledge that it started very early in your childhood.

Then bring compassionate understanding to yourself. Your child’s mind was not mature enough to say,” well my parents really don’t mean what they say; they are just frustrated and did not get the love they needed from their parents.” Instead the child internalizes the messages and now the negative messages and voice of the parent becomes your own. Your parents are now sitting on your shoulder.

We all need to use our minds to manage the changes, stress and the unknown. But, it order to achieve positive results you cannot start with self-criticism. It does take time to change your negative self-talk, but not impossible.

To investigate your inner child’s early programming you might quickly consider going through your day and noticing your negative self talk. If you do this for a few days you will notice a theme. You may notice that you frequently worry about the future, or obsess over past events beating yourself up, to name only a few themes. This self-talk theme you may not notice as it can be silently be going on in the background of your mind. Or, your negative self-talk could be spoken out loud when you are casually going through your day, or when someone ask you “how are you doing”?

How do you change this negative self-talk?

The first step is to just notice that you are engaging in self-critical or fear based self-talk. Most people spend 80% of their time in their minds, either thinking, thinking thinking, or talking talking talking, but not listening. The first step requires that you pause during your day and be silent, stop and listen to what you are telling yourself. Write down five negative thoughts that you are hearing yourself say.

The second step is to be compassionate with yourself, knowing that what you are hearing is the voice of your wounded inner child. Much of the time we spend putting ourselves under a microscope judging and being critical with decision, behavior, etc. Compassion is a critical step to develop and it will be easy now that you know this self-talk started with the innocent mind of the child.

The Third step is where you begin to update your inner child by reprogramming and putting in positive thoughts. This is like putting your inner child on your lap and saying that what she/he thinks is not really the truth of who you are, it is bringing self-love and understanding and the positive viewpoint which is updating the old into the new thinking.

Do not be hostage to your negative thoughts. You can change your negative thinking just follow the three (3) step process, it works. The process can be speeded along by working with a professional who deals with inner child work to help you identify your negative self-talk. Be patience and you will create a healthy mind.
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Michele Germain is the author of The Jill Principle – A Women’s Guide To Healing Her Spirit After Divorce Or Breakup (Llewellyn Worldwide) and licensed as a Clinical Social Worker and Marriage Family Therapist in California. She's a Certified Bioenergetic Analyst, specializing in the mind/body connection, an approach that resolves the emotional pain remaining in the body. Germain is also a relationship expert, and helps individuals find the spiritual gift in their crisis or breakup and does phone counseling. She has appeared on radio, cable television and in print media. She can also be found on www.beyondbreakup.com.

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

Law of Attraction in Action: Following Dreams

This is post 47 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

People now see me as someone who makes her dreams come true. We all have dreams. Our minds can take us far. But I’ve found that people fall into several general categories. Yes, they may overlap at times. But in general, you’ll probably recognize yourself most in one. You might not want to recognize yourself correctly. But when you do, you can use the Law of Attraction too help you get what you think you want. Which one are you?

* Fantasy Dreamer: People imagine scenarios that are either so far from their lives to consider happening or that are over the top for someone or that they really wouldn’t want to come true. These dreams are often too general to attract spiritual support, like being rich and famous or having men or women fawning all over you to get your attention. These kinds of dreams usually stay in the person’s bed. We often retreat to these dreams when we’re down or feeling helpless to improve life.

I had fantasy dreams often as a DoorMat. I’d imagine myself doing all sorts of incredible things or being with handsome actors or becoming a different person. They’d make me feel better for a while and help me pass time. But then I’d get sad KNOWING they wouldn’t come true. My putting it out to the Law of Attraction that I KNEW it wouldn't happen ensured it wouldn’t happen. Fantasies CAN become reality IF you believe they can, but most fantasy dreamers don’t.

* Envious Dreamer: Envy can make you dream about having something that someone else has. You might not have wanted it on your own but seeing someone else with it can start you dreaming about having it too. You might want the expensive car your wealthier neighbor has or the prefect body you see on someone else, even though your frame is different.

In my DoorMat day, I envied many people and dreamed of having what they had---the hot boyfriend, the killer body, the lavish lifestyle and anything else I saw that seemed good. I just assumed the people with them were happy, which I wasn’t. So I dreamed about having it all, as I sadly believed I’d always have to live vicariously through others since I’d never have any of it. Envious dreamers tend to focus on their envy rather than trying to get what they dreamed about. They believe it’s always other people who get those things.

* Hopeless Dreamer: These dreamers really want to manifest and may take a few steps to do it. But, one setback or perceived obstacle can keep them dreaming forever. You may want to start a business, take a trip around the world, buy a house, become the president of your company or the US! But if you wait for a miracle before taking some steps forward, you’ll probably live in hopelessness. I felt hopeless about many things, especially getting out of DoorMatville. Compliments and words of encouragement were deflected by my low self-image, which said I couldn’t do much.

Many people sort of believe in the possibility of their dreams coming true but succumb to roadblocks, the biggest being in their heads. When things don’t go smoothly or come easily, it’s interpreted as too hard or not doable. That tells the Law of Attraction that you don’t expect it to happen. And guess what? It doesn’t! Then you may wallow in your being right instead of looking for another way to make it work.

* Intentional Dreamer: This is where I am now—a dream realizer! I won’t dream it if I don’t intend to seek it. People call me lucky. I don’t believe there's any such thing. You get what people call luck by setting your sites on what you want with a belief that you will get it, and put that out strongly to the Law of Attraction. That’s truly what luck is—intentions manifested. Sometimes I hated others for being so lucky, not recognizing that I always had the power of the Law of Attraction to help me manifest real dreams. Lucky people are careful about their thoughts and attract more, so the other kind of dreamers call it luck. But it really is letting your thoughts work with the Law of Attraction.

Hopeless dreamers are good at making excuses for why they can’t make their dreams come true. They’re just copouts for not doing what it takes in most cases! You can find a million reasons for waiting to pursue your dreams. And waiting. And waiting. Each time you wait gets you a little more stuck in moving forward and it often becomes even harder to go for your dreams.

The best way to realize your dreams is to begin to live them.

Take a step forward to bring the dream out of wishful thinking and make it part of your life. If you make progress and then hit a step backwards, you can’t let it stop you—IF you truly want what you dream about. As a DoorMat, I dreamed in the black and white visions of what I wanted, shrouded in doubts about why it couldn’t happen. Now I dream in reality Technicolor. I decide what I want, do what I can to make it happen, and then trust that what I need will be there.

When intentions are clear and faith is strong, the Law of Attraction facilitates them.

I’m going to share one of my dreams. I’ve told a few people but they laugh. Does it faze me? Nope! I just know they’ll have a harder time manifesting their own dreams if they don’t understand the faithful intentions I have. I intend to win the Mega Millions lottery! There, I've said it in public! I want to use the money to do good for others. I KNOW with all my heart this will happen when the time is right. I have a budget for where the money will go. Mostly charities. I’ll keep just enough to live on so I can administer the money to do the most good.

I don’t buy tickets every week. The jackpot must be well over 100 million for it to suit my intentions. ☺

When it gets there, then I buy. If I forget, it’s okay since it will be higher the following week or someone else will win. In the latter case, I wouldn’t want to win that time and split the money. Meanwhile, I keep visualizing the win coming and make concrete plans for the money, which can change each time the jackpot goes up. I’ll take 26 payments so it must be enough to give me substantial money each year. I’m still not sure of some details of how to accomplish what I intend, since when I ask an accountant, etc, I get strange looks, not answers.

I truly KNOW with all my heart it’s coming—next week or in 10 years—whenever the right time is.

So now you have one of my more secret dreams, though I have many more! Join me! Be spontaneous, with some planning of course. Move forward in making your dreams come true. Take one step today. Learn something you need on the Internet. Write a plan. List your goals. Make a call. Ask for advice. Read a book about it. Things work out when you LET them. So LET them! Set your intentions, do what’s necessary, and let the Law of Attraction do its part. Take your dreams out of bed and begin the steps to seeing them to reality!

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series..

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!