Finding Happiness in Tough Times

Many people are having a tough time these days. The economy is hurting and now we're hearing about the swine flu epidemic. It can really get you down. That's why I'm thrilled to have Gini Graham Scott, Ph.D., author of over 50 books, including her new one, Want It, See It, Get It! as my guest. She gives an overview of her 12 principles of happiness no matter what's going on.

You Can Be Happy, Even in Difficult Times
by Gini Graham Scott, Ph.D.

As each day brings more and more bad news about the state of the world, you could use an antidote to today’s doom and gloom to rejuvenate yourself.

What? Try applying the principles of happiness to whatever is happening in your life today, so you can enjoy whatever you are doing and get rid of your feelings of stress. The 12 principles of happiness are listed below. Think about them each day, so you regularly apply them; perhaps keep them on a list you see regularly, so they stick in your mind. Eventually, this way of experiencing happiness will become a habit and way of life, so you enjoy every day, no matter what happens. It’s an outlook that will help to drive away fear and other negative feelings towards work and your economic future.

1. First cultivate love, which is often called the “root of happiness” and the polar opposite of fear. To do so, remind yourself to experience and express appreciation for the work, friends, and significant others you have in your life. Focus on what you have now or will have, so you feel gratitude, not on what you don’t have or used to have, causing you to feel a sense of loss.

2. Be optimistic. To this end, put any painful experiences by letting them go or thinking about how you can learn from whatever difficulties you encounter. Optimism can also help you overcome any regrets for the past and lead you to feel confident about what the future will bring.

3. Cultivate courage by actively embracing challenges as a way to overcome feelings of fear.

4. Remind yourself that you always have the freedom to choose whatever the situation. Should you feel stuck where you are, think of the different ways you might remake yourself and do something different; consider how you might adapt your skills to respond to today’s economic situation.

5. Be proactive, so you shape your own destiny, rather than waiting for other people or events to make you happy. Think about what you can change or do differently to reshape what you are doing now.

6. Gain security by liking and accepting who you are, so you have an inner sense of assurance, since everything else in life changes. So seek security come from within, not from outer attributes, such as money or popularity.

7. Take steps to be in good health, because you need to feel healthy to be happy, while feeling happy will contribute to your good health.

8. Have a sense of spirituality, which means being open to experiences beyond your everyday life, rather than having a particular religious faith. This sense of spirituality can then help you feel secure and give you a feeling of strength and purpose, so you are better able to weather difficulties you encounter in daily life.

9. Embrace and express altruism, since you will gain great satisfaction through giving to others and feeling connected to them; it will help you have a sense of purpose. By contrast, overly self-absorbed people are generally not truly happy.

10. Cultivate a sense of perspective, so you are better able to distinguish between big and small problems and prioritize what is more and less important, rather than being rigid. This way you can put your current difficulties into a larger context. For instance, you might view current economic uncertainties as a time of change preparing you to move on to newer more satisfying work in the future.

11. Look on whatever happens with a sense of humor , which will help you lighten up and move past current difficulties.

12. Have a sense of purpose, which will give meaning to your life. It will enable you to feel satisfied that you are doing what you were meant to do.

Now that you know the 12 happiness principles, think about how you might apply them in your work and life. You may find you are already using many of these principles. But now pay attention to how and when you are using them, so you appreciate yourself for what you are already doing – an example of the first principle: love, whereby you show appreciation for yourself.

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Gini Graham Scott, Ph.D. is the author of over 50 books and a seminar and workshop leader, specializing in work relationships and professional and personal development. Her latest books include Want It, See It, Get It! and Enjoy! 101 Little Ways to Add Fun to Your Work Everyday, both from AMACOM. Read them for more insights on how to be happy. Gini’s websites are: www.workwithgini.com and www.ginigrahamscott.com.

Law of Attraction in Action: Clarity

This is post 36 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

The Law of Attraction reflects what you put out. But often we’re too vague about what we say we want. Clients have said they want more of everything. I ask what everything is. They can’t quite clarify it. They say they know what they want but think in generalities instead of specifics. You can’t get exactly what you want if you’re vague about what it is.

To get the best results from the Law of Attraction, you must be VERY clear about what you want.

If you leave it up to the Universe or God to figure it out, you might not get what you really want. You may think you know what you want but don’t really. Wanting to be out of a current situation into something better isn’t clear. Knowing what you don’t want doesn’t attract the opposite. Thinking about what you don’t want can actually reinforce your continuing to have that.

When you’re clear about what you want, the Universe responds to your clarity. That’s when you get the most good stuff!

Think about how you put out what you want. If it’s not clear, make an effort to be specific. Besides your words, make sure that your actions also support your desires and intentions. If you say you want something but your behavior is counterproductive to getting it, it’s hard for the Universe to figure out your true intention. Some of the most common things people say they want in unclear ways are:

* “I want more money.” If I give you a penny, you have more money than you just did and your wish is fulfilled! But I don’t think that’s what people mean. How much more money? I prefer to put it out that I want abundance, in all areas of my life including financially. Or be specific and put it out that you want to double your income or have enough money to buy a house or whatever else you want money for. I leave it in God’s hands to decide where it will come from. But if you say you intend to have lots of money but refuse to buy something you’d like because you’re scared to spend money or you refer to yourself as poor, the message gets muddied. I don’t go crazy but spend with faith that I’ll always have what I need. And I ALWAYS do!

* “I want someone good in my life.” You may mean a romantic partner but may attract more time with your mom, who is a good person. Be clear about what you’re looking for. “I want to meet a romantic partner who makes me very happy and treats me well.” Or make a list of all the qualities you want in one. The more specific you are, the more likely you’ll be to attract what you want. But if you continue to take back the person who treats you poorly or avoid meeting people, the message you send is confusing.

* “I want a better job.” What does a better job mean to you? More money? A higher or more interesting position? Be clear about exactly what you want in your next job. Polish up your resume with clarity about your goals. Complaining about your job while sitting still in it shows you’re okay there. Do things to prepare yourself for the job you say you want so the Universe is clear about what it is. If you’re not clear yourself, figure it out because the Law of Attraction won’t. It will just keep you stuck!

* “I want to be happy.” What does happy mean to you? Being happy means something different to everyone. You have to be specific about WHAT would make you happy. Figuring that out can be the hardest part. Make a list: “I would be happy if….” Include everything you can think of. It’s better to have being happy as an umbrella goal and seek to receive the specific things on your list.

* “I want to lose weight.” Would you be okay with losing just an ounce? Probably not. Think about what losing weight means to you. Losing at least 10 pounds or a pound a week for months? Fitting into a smaller size. Shrinking your belly? Focus on the specific aspect you want instead of the general statement. And, do at least something to change your eating and exercise habits. Otherwise, your actions show you want to remain the same.

For many years when I lived in DoorMatville I longed for all sorts of good things. But, I treated myself poorly, which contradicted my wishes. It killed my faith, since I didn’t understand that I sent a message that I didn’t love myself and couldn’t help myself, which the Law of Attraction picked up on and kept me in that place. Now when I expect good things, my words and actions are specific about my being ready to receive them. I get goodies and miracles regularly.

The clearer you are about your desires and goals, the more likely you are to achieve them. It gives the Law of Attraction fuel to make them a reality!

There’s an old saying about being careful what you wish for because it might come true. THINK about what you want, be SPECIFIC about what it is, ACT like you expect to get it, and enjoy the results! That’s the best way to attract the most. I do all the time and it reinforces why DoorMatville is a place I’ll never choose to return to.

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Recognizing Miracles

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I’ve been a bit MIA from the blog this week. Someone close to me had major surgery and I was at the hospital a lot. He had cancer in the nerves on one side of his face. The docs hoped it hadn’t spread through all of them but it after 7 hours, he came out to say that they were almost to his skull and were skill finding cancer cells in what they removed. Only a teeny piece more and they’d have to stop.

We’d been praying for miracles and it felt like God had ignored us.
The doc said if they’d been able to find a cancer-free section they could transplant nerves into his face and give him a chance to have them regenerate and allow him to use that side of his face. But, there wasn’t much of a chance at finding clean tissue in the small piece of nerve they had yet to test. I went out for a walk. Like the others, my first thought was to question why my strong expectation for a miracle wasn’t answered. Then I remembered, it wasn’t over until the final small piece had been tested. So I had a long chat with God.

I said I was still expecting a miracle. I didn’t care how unlikely it was to find the rest of the nerve to be cancer-free. It had to be okay! After all, isn't that what miracles are for??

I kept repeating this thought as I walked. I explained to God that my faith was still strong and the situation was in His hands. I repeated it over and over. A few hours later, we got the news that the last section was cancer-free and they were able to replace his nerves. I jumped up and down thanking God. Yet most people just focus on is the awful surgery (14+ hours) and the cancer being so extensive. I focus on the miracle of finding the cancer-free section before it reached his skull. The docs didn’t expect it but bless their hearts, they tried and then made the nerve transplant happen fast. It also means there's a better chance the cancer didn't spread to his brain.

I admit that having all the nerves on one side of the face removed is awful. But while the glass may seem almost empty to most people, I’m grateful for the sweetest drop in it—the last bit of nerves that were cancer free!

The nerves may not grow back or ever work. But I’m expecting them too with every ounce of me! And I’m celebrating the miracle that happened. Too often we don’t recognize miracles if we’re overwhelmed with negatives. It’s so easy to succumb to grief. But you miss out on blessings if you do. There are usually blessings in a storm when you pay attention. I try to.

Next time you feel life isn’t going as you’d like, find the blessing in the otherwise negative situation. It’s usually there if you look.

Learning to appreciate whatever you can find feels better and attracts more blessings. As a DoorMat, what I didn't have or what went wrong was all I saw. It contributed to the cement that kept me stuck in a bad place. Recognizing the good puts you into a better frame of mind and helps you recognize more. Sometimes you have to be a bit creative to find the blessing. They’re there if you want to find them!

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

Law of Attraction in Action: CHOOSE, Don't Wait To Be Chosen

This is post 35 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

The other day there was a discussion on a writers’ board I participate in about getting a literary agent. The person had interest from one who reps her friend. She was surprised since this agent doesn’t usually rep her type of book. Yet she was willing to give her the exclusive for several weeks to read her book proposal and felt guilty about letting other agents see it until agent #1 decided if she wanted to represent her. She gave this agent the power to rep the book if she wanted it, though she’d never even met her or knew if she was the right one for her book. She asked if she should send the proposal to other agents or wait for agent #1's answer. My reply was:

CHOOSE. Don't wait to be chosen!

Settling for what you can get instead of waiting for or going after the best possibility rarely helps you. Too often we put our fate and choices into someone else’s hands, without even thinking about it. It was automatic for me when I lived in DoorMatville. I settled for whatever I got. I continued being a teacher, which I never wanted to do in the first place but it gave me a job so I stayed. Yet I felt unfulfilled and longed for a creative career that felt satisfying. When I became single, I settled for the men who liked me and stayed, instead of begin selective. Back then I felt lost without a man. So I settled for whoever I could keep.

But I learned that when you settle, you give up your power to choose. You take what’s offered, or easily gotten, or handy, instead of waiting for the best choice.

Many of us learn to settle growing up. We settle for the help that’s offered, because it’s there, instead of seeking out the best assistance. We settle for a job because it’s offered and stay because it’s easier. Many people settle for a romantic partner when they feel desperate for one, or at least overly anxious to partner up. Women who believe they need a man to complete them often stick with a guy who isn’t a good fit or is abusive, just to have someone. Low self-esteem can make you take what you get instead of having the confidence to choose what you’d actually like.

CHOOSE. Don't wait to be chosen! Settling tells the Universe that you’ll take what you get and not try for more. The Law of Attraction will support that by not attracting more opportunities.

Settling usually leaves you unfulfilled. At first it feels secure. But at some point the dissatisfaction will hit you hard. I’ve settled for agents who did nothing for me and for boyfriends who took without giving much. Settling leads to looking back with regret. Unfortunately, the more you settle, the more chance it will reinforce this as your usual behavior, so you’ll continue to settle. The Law of Attraction listens to this message. Remember, you get back what you put out.

CHOOSE. Don't wait to be chosen! Maureen Dowd said, "The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for."

As I write this, I realized that I’ve stayed signed to someone at a speaker’s bureau who does nothing for me. It took me time to find her and I’ve stayed with her because it’s such a pain to shop for one. But now I realize that I’ll never have the representation I need if I stay with her. So, this week I shall end our liaison. Close one door and another 2 open! I’ll make sure the Universe hears me loud and clear so the Law of Attraction can work with me to attract the RIGHT speaking agent!

Don’t automatically say yes to opportunities. Think about if they’re right for you. Ask yourself:

* “Do I want to be with this person or would I rather have someone with more qualities that I value?” The truth will eventually get to you. Whether it’s friendship or romance, it's better to end it now, before you’re in deeper and have more invested in the person.

* “Is this person the right one to represent me in my career or for a legal issue or to handle my PR or speak on my behalf in a business situation?” Just having someone to rep you for your business situation is far from a guarantee that he or she will do a good job. If you gut says it’s not right, listen!

* “Did I agree to hire someone because I assumed I should or I’m too scared to wait for someone better?” Settling isn’t the antidote to fear or insecurity. It’s taking the path of least resistance. But it also gets you the least in terms of attracting the results you’d really like.

CHOOSE, Don't wait to be chosen! Settling isn’t making a choice. It’s having the choice made for you. It says you don’t think you can do better, so the Law of Attraction doesn’t bring you better.

When you close a door, it leaves room for another one, or more, to open. Value yourself enough to know you should allow yourself to have choices. Choose the best people for your world. Close the doors to settling so the Law of Attraction can open more to choose from.

CHOOSE, Don't wait to be chosen!

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Chillin’ Without Guilt


I’ve been exhausted and stressed lately. I wrote a book with someone who was very difficult to deal with, yet I was responsible for making the deadline. He’s a good guy but not a writer and clueless about many of the things I asked of him. I often got crazy. Meanwhile, I have another book due in July and many more things on my plate. My sister’s husband has cancer that’s grown around the nerves in one side of his face. He’s having surgery next Wednesday and then a long recovery. I’m trying to make myself available to support them in the midst of all the other things.

All prayers are welcome! ☺

So for the last 2 months I haven’t been sleeping well and feel like I’ve been working non-stop. That’s part of why I haven’t been able to post as much on this blog. The book got turned in the end of last week. Once I turned it in, I began to sleep better but I had so much rest to catch up on that I woke up looking forward to nighttime when I could return to sleep. It was hard to do anything. I also haven’t had time to promote my new books and am trying to catch up on that.

On that note, I’d like to announce the video for my first rap record, Girls Can Do. Please check it out and forward it to friends.

I was the first white female rapper on a dare from students in a class I was teaching in junior high school years go. It led me to become the first woman that I know of to start an independent record label, which I ran for 5 years. So in honor of my 2 new books, Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill) and the third edition of my bestselling Start & Run Your Own Record Label, I filmed a video for Girls Can Do. Now I finally have time to get the word out!

But, as I try to catch up and decompress from the last 2 months, I’m also allowing for plenty of “me” time.

Many of us feel guilty about allowing ourselves some “me” time. I used to ruin any pleasure in having time to relax and enjoy by thinking I should be doing something more productive. Guilt tainted all the joy. I thought I should be working or helping someone. That was the DoorMat's version. Now I understand that everyone is entitled to down time. While I can’t just fritter away my time, I’ve been working very hard and need some R & R, despite having a lot to take care of.

J. Lubbock said, "Rest is not idleness, and to lie on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time."

Doing things that make you happy is never a waste of time! It’s important to balance work and play. I have a work relate event to attend this evening so I took advantage of the gorgeous weather by going for a run in Central Park earlier, during work time. I finally recognize that treating myself with love and doing things to stay healthy are just as important as doing my work. So is relaxation, doing nothing at all, playing a computer game and other things with no outcomes except to make me feel good.

As long as you’re not being totally lazy for a prolonged period of time, cut yourself slack on taking R & R. You deserve it, guilt-free!

Now I think I'll relax a little more. It does feel good. Try it!

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

Law of Attraction in Action: Are You Willing to Try?

This is post 34 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

Do you want to be happy? Are there many things you dream of? Would you like to feel better or improve your life? Change begins with being willing to try to do something different or to have a new response to an old circumstance or to receive. The first element of change or progress, before you even take the first baby step, is acknowledging that you’re willing to try something. It doesn’t mean that you intend to immediately make a move. But it says you’re open to the possibility.

Are you willing to try? Many of us say we are but really aren’t willing to at least try. You may want what you say you want but have inner resistance to making it happen.

You might say all the right things and even wish and hope for them. But, there might be something inside you that makes you unwilling to change or take a step towards it. You might not realize it but the Law of Attraction does and reinforces your unwillingness. Then you wonder why you feel stick.

Not being willing attracts the invisible glue that keeps you in the same old place that you say you don’t want to be in.

When I was a DoorMat, I longed for so much. I wanted to have a cute guy who treated me well, a job I loved, a thinner, fitter body, supportive friends and happiness. It sounded so sweet. But while I wanted them badly on one level, deep down, I wasn’t willing to let them into my life. I didn’t feel worthy of being loved in a healthy way or receiving goodies. I wasn’t willing to stop eating junk or to exercise more. Back then I lived in a state of “Woe is me. Good things don’t come to me.” I couldn’t see it was because I wasn’t willing to let them in or do the work.

Being willing to try doesn’t mean that you have to do anything yet. It’s acknowledging that you’re ready to not stand in your own way.

Yes, I realize now that I stood in my own way when I lived in DoorMatville. It’s something we do automatically as a defense to keep our worlds from rocking too much. We get comfortable in our bad habits. I knew that was my case but at least I knew what to expect with things as they were, even the outcome wasn’t what I said I wanted. Back them, being willing to change meant I’d have to make a big move.

Now I understand that being willing to try means I’m OPEN to doing something a new way or receiving new things.

Make some signs that say “I AM WILLING TO…” Put them around your living space. Whenever you see one, read it aloud and fill in the blank with something you want to make happen.

* “I AM WILLING TO try to love myself more so that I can attract more love from others.”
* “I AM WILLING TO receive more love from others.”
* “I AM WILLING TO consider finding a new job.”
* “I AM WILLING TO try to be more careful about my eating.”
* “I AM WILLING TO try to get out of my ruts.”

You can use the same thing line or different ones. Be spontaneous in what you say or use it as a repeated affirmation of something you’d really want to allow to happen. Saying that you’re willing is almost like giving yourself permission for it to happen. That’s a good message to send to the Universe for the Law of Attraction to pick up on.

It may take you time to take the first baby step, but, when you’re willing to try, your consciousness is raised.

That also tells the Universe you’re open to what you say you want, which sends more opportunities to you. Acknowledging that you’re willing to try sets the Law of Attraction into motion, because it keeps in on your mind in a positive direction. Thinking of excuses for why you can’t do something right now reinforces it not happening. Saying that you’re will to try makes you more open to possibilities by expressing your desire in a positive way.

So repeat after me. “I AM WILLING TO try….” Fill in the blank with whatever it is you’ve had a hard time getting started doing. When you’ve said it often enough, you can convince yourself, and the Universe, that you’re serious. Then you’re in a better position to attract the right circumstances for it to become a reality.

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Clearing Your Life

I often talk about the benefits of cleaning out what you can from your life. Getting rid of stuff makes room for better goodies. That’s why I’m so absolutely delighted to have a special guest today—Gail Blanke, a bestselling author, motivational speaker and former columnist for Real Simple. Gail is also founder, president, and chief executive officer of Lifedesigns, LLC, a company whose vision is to empower men and women worldwide to live truly exceptional lives. Below she shares some fo the lessons from her terrific new book, Throw Out Fifty Things – Clear the Clutter, Find Your Life.

What’s The Cure For Inertia, Stagnation And Utter Depression? Throw Out Fifty Things!
By Gail Blanke

Okay, we’re living in really tough times. Jobless rates are soaring, home values are plummeting, 401K’s are dwindling and bad people are running off with good people’s money. And nothing is the way it was - or likely will be again.

But sometimes it takes a crisis for us to know what we’re made of, what we stand for, how good we are. And sometimes it takes a crisis for us to let go of the past – so we can grab hold of the future.

Darwin was right. It’s not the strongest of the species that survives - or even the smartest. It’s the one that can adapt to change – whether you’re a country, a company, an institution – or an individual. And if we want to survive, never mind thrive, we’ve got to let go of anything and everything that would hold us back.

So I ask everyone I work with, from CEO’s to stand- up comics, to go home and throw out fifty things. (And, by the way, magazines and catalogs only count as one.)Why fifty, you ask? Because once you make it to fifty, a kind of powerful momentum takes over; the throwing out thing becomes a habit, an ongoing mind-set. And then something really wonderful happens: you take control of your life. You start living it and it stops living you.

Look, there’s only so much room – in our homes, offices and heads for all the physical and emotional debris – I call it “life plaque” that we’ve allowed to build up. So there’s no time to waste dithering about whether all this stuff should stay or go. It’s got to go.

And believe me, you’ve got plenty of stuff to throw out: You’ve got all those mis-matched socks, the single gloves, your teenager’s old tricycle – and that drawer in the kitchen. You know that drawer: There are keys in that drawer that haven’t opened up anything in decades. Throw ‘em out. And when you get really warmed up, you’ll get to the good stuff: the old regrets, the anger, being right about how wrong it all is, about how this wasn’t supposed to happen to you, and about how your best years are behind you.

Hey, and while you’re at it, why not throw out that old, tired view of yourself – that set-in-stone notion about what you’re good at and what you’ll never be good at, your conviction that the way you do it is the only way to do it, your old beliefs about how things should be done and life should be lived – and what you need to be happy. Give it up. How else are you going to fit into the new economy?

Of course, letting go takes courage – something that might seem in short supply right about now. So where do we find it? By taking a look at our “defining moments” from the past. A defining moment is a moment when you found something in yourself you didn’t know you had and pulled it out. It might be a time when you drew a line – or erased one, if that’s what needed to be done. But it’s always a time after which you never thought of yourself in the same way again. You’ll discover a pattern of courage. You’ll find that you’ve already got the confidence you need to move forward into the change – not away from it – in spite of the noise, chaos and unpredictability of the moment.

This isn’t the time to hunker down and wait for the light at the end of the tunnel. You could wait a lifetime. It is the time to burst onto the scene with the energy and optimism that comes from clearing the clutter and reinventing your life.

I’m not kidding about “fifty.”
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Check out Gail Blanke’s book, Throw Out Fifty Things – Clear the Clutter, Find Your Life and get motivated to clean your stuff and your life!

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

Law of Attraction in Action: Complacency

This is post 33 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

Last week the guest post about complacency by Tim Kellis struck a nerve. I don’t hear that word used much but I do see it in action. So does the Law of Attraction! The definition of complacency is a feeling of pleasure or security while being unaware of negatives that could be lurking. Smug satisfaction. It really got me thinking.

To me, complacency means taking life and its gifts for granted. That tells the Universe that you’re not feeling conscious gratitude.

Being complacent is like living with blinders. Parents who see their kids as perfect miss signs of trouble. If you take your relationship for granted, you might not notice your partner is unhappy. If you do your job by rote, you might not notice an opportunity opening up or people being laid off. It tells the Universe that you just want to stay in the place you’re in. You don’t want to grow or change.

Complacency can keep your dance card empty as you don’t seek to take new paths.

Complacency helped me to remain a DoorMat. I accepted what happened around me without reacting or really paying attention. It was all “just life”, one big generalization that kept my world stagnant. It enabled me to stay put. If I challenged situations or paid too much attention to how I LET people treat me or what I was missing out on, I’d have had to do something about it.

Complacency allowed me to live in a bubble of status quo since I was too scared to do something more.

Leaving DoorMatville meant leaving complacency behind too. It was time to live and not just pass time. Many us seek to not rock the boat of our worlds. You may think you need your job so you see it through rose-colored glasses to avoid taking action on unacceptable situations and maybe having to leave. Your romantic partner may seem great compared to others you’ve had, or the idea of being solo. But for me, the worst aspect of complacency is that it tells the Universe you’re taking your life for granted.

Even if you’re complacent when things are truly good in your world, a lack of gratitude can change that quickly.

The Law of Attraction picks up on that and doesn’t support the life you currently enjoy if you act like it’s a given instead of the gift it is. Being consciously grateful is a good antidote to being complacent. It tells the Universe that you’re aware of all the good around you and aren’t taking it for granted. Thinking about your blessings also helps you become more aware of things you’re complacent about.

I’ve said this a gazillion times before but you can’t hear it too much: Count your blessings as often as you can.

Blessing awareness is a terrific catalyst for the Law of Attraction to attract more blessings. Join my Conscious Gratitude List on Yahoo to help you remember to be grateful for everything you have. Taking life for granted leaves you vulnerable. Counting your blessings keeps you full of reasons to be happy. Which place would you prefer to be in?

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series..

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Saying No to Complacency

Today renowned Wall Street analyst Tim Kellis has stopped by on his virtual book tour as my guest blogger. But he’s not going to talk about business. Instead, he shares a lesson about making relationships work that he learned in the business world. The experience he gained as a Wall Street analyst provided an excellent backdrop for becoming an expert on relationships, and resulted in his relationship book, Equality: The Quest for the Happy Marriage. Today he shares a lesson about complacency.

Saying No to Complacency

Complacency. Complacency is the curse of success, and failure. We learned this lesson the hard way on Wall Street during the boom of the late 90s. This lesson is a very personal one for me as well. I got into Wall Street because of my love of trying to figure out where stock prices were going. I started with an initial investment of $7,000 in 1993 and grew my portfolio to $12.5 million by the height of the market in 2000.

But I grew complacent about the real valuation of stocks, like most on Wall Street, so when the market begun to crumble in late 2000 I complacently sat by thinking that stock prices would rebound, like they did so many times during the 20 year bull market. But they didn’t, and my portfolio crashed back to earth. Boy that was painful.

The same thing happens in negative relationships. We go into relationships with all of the optimism of success, particularly those that lead to marriage. We get married believing that our marriages will last a lifetime.
And then, with negative relationships, problems begin to develop. Something happens where conflicts lead to arguments where both are bewildered about what to do.

We begin by trying to resolve them, but when they lead to nothing but more anger and arguments we grow complacent believing that somehow they will be resolved.

So we sit back, eventually not even addressing the issues that cause us problems. We think to ourselves that somehow they will get fixed, but we dare not bring them up, for fear of the repercussions.

And we become DoorMats in our own loving relationships. One of the most important elements of a successful relationship is the discovery of our own internal happiness, happiness that is not a result of our wealth or good looks, or our belief in the lack of. This requires the courage to pick yourself up by your boot straps and take on the challenge of addressing whatever causes you troubles in your relationship.

This requires that you do not become a DoorMat in your own relationship and believe in yourself. Why not discard your complacent approach to your regressive relationship and do something about it?

Check out Tim Kellis’ website at www.happyrelationships.com or his blog at www.questforthehappyrelationship.blogspot.com

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!