Limiting What Can Be Done

You might have noticed I’ve been MIA for over a week. No posts. I felt guilty the first few days but couldn’t find the time. My next book was due yesterday, and I had to get it done properly. Every day I tried to make time to write a post or do some of the other things I had no time for but time kept running out. While I want to do it all and the ads say women can do it all, often we can’t. And it’s okay.

The old DoorMat in me tried to do everything at the expense of sleep and herself. Now I know it’s okay to prioritize and do what’s best for my well being.

People pleasers often take on too much. Often nothing gets done as well as possible. After a few days of trying, I gave myself permission to take time off from writing my blog and other things I’d normally do. My book came first, along with paying my bills on time. I also factored in time for loved ones and exercise. But that was about it. It was actually empowering to skip things I normally wouldn’t in order to take the pressure off of my time.

Trying to do too much or stressing out about not doing all you think you should can hurt your health.

Now I love myself enough to be kind to me and not push myself too hard. It feels great! I finished my book on time and have put some work into my next one, which will now be my priority. I have more leeway on time for a while. I’m chilling out more this weekend to decompress form the last few weeks, before I get back on the fast track again. The nice thing is I no longer feel guilty about putting things off!

We’re entitled—yes, entitled—to prioritize what we do in ways that feel best to us.

In my DoorMat days, even if I’d put something off, guilt would have offset the benefits. I didn’t feel right not doing everything I was “supposed to.” But what does “supposed to” mean? Going beyond your time? Draining all your energy? Putting too much stress on you? None of that makes sense to me anymore. What does make sense is doing everything I can to insure my good health and keep stress down.

If something is on your plate that’s stressing you out, find a way to put it away for a while or get it done fast.

I had some important calls to make and other things that needed to be done. So one morning I forced myself to sit down and make them all. When they were done, the big sense of relief felt great! I also determined what could wait. While I love writing my blog, it wasn’t essential to write posts. I found a bunch of others things that I also deemed postponable. Once I did that it was such a relief!

Things won’t fall apart because they’ve been postponed but you might fall apart if you try to do too much.

I’m writing this in the park around the corner from my apartment in midtown. It’s my oasis, with gorgeous trees and flowers and a big waterfall. That’s me in the pic. I took it with my laptop! I’m writing but not under pressure. It feels so good to relax and write at my leisure. The more I’ve grown to love myself, the more I strive to slow myself down and keep my plate at a reasonable level of full. I love what I do so most of it is sheer pleasure. If I could create some 48-hour days, I’d be a happier camper.

For now, I’ll try hard to keep time in my 24-hour days reasonably accounted for.

I apologize to those of you who missed my posts and I’ll try to do much better this week. I won’t always be able to write consistently, but I’ve moved these posts up in priority now that my book is done. Make sure you prioritize your time too. If you bite off more that you can handle, or should chew, spit some out or freeze it for another day! ☺

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