Tips, Tools and Perspective for Being More Empowered

Welcome to my self-empowerment blog--as seen in The Huffington Post Guide to Blogging! I used to be a wimp and never got taken seriously. When I became one of the first chicks to start a record label, I learned to navigate the male dominated music industry and earned respect, without raising my voice or getting overtly tough. I transferred those skills into all areas of life and now get what I want from most people. I'll share those lessons here by talking about my observations of situations and habits that hold both men and women back from being as empowered as possible. I'll also give tips for more effective communication, handling yourself with more confidence, and in general, how to come across as more serious--whether it's at work, dealing with an annoying phone company, your mother, a romantic partner and anyone else you want to feel more in control with. Everybody can use more tools for taking control of their lives, like in my latest book, Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill). Please subscribe if you'd like more!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Stop Being a Prisoner of Your Own Mind!


Have you felt envy toward someone? Come on, admit it! We all sometimes yearn to have what someone else does. Did you wonder why he has so much luck? Or wish she'd fall on her face since it isn't fair for someone else to get so much when you have none of it?? That's a normal reaction. But those thoughts make you a prisoner. Each is a bar that holds you back from getting what you say you want.

Franklin D. Roosevelt said, "Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds."

Your thoughts manifest your reality. If it's possible to get something and you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you probably won't! Are you thinking you've heard this many times before and know it? Then ask yourself, "Why haven't I manifested what I want?" If you spend your thoughts on:

* All the reasons you can't---then you wont be able to.
* Wishing you had what others do---prepare to live in a state of wishing.
* Making excuses or blaming situations for what you don't have---enjoy being a victim of your thoughts!
* Guilt about things you can control or that take care of you---have fun ruining any pleasure with regrets for things that probably are unfair to you.

I did all of the above in my DoorMat days. I was an unhappy victim of beliefs that kept me stuck in not getting what I wanted. The Law of Attraction worked with me in ways I didn't understand, or like. I believed that nothing would go right for me and nothing did. My thoughts were dismal:

* I can never find the right people to help me.
* Why, oh why, don't I have the guy or the job or the anything else someone had.
* Thinner girls got more than me.
* Woe is me, I'll never be happy.

Yada, yada yada! Thoughts can keep you stuck or you can force yourself to change them and use them to unlock doors. Unless you like being a victim of course! Many people do. Being a victim gives you more time to vege at the TV or online and gain weight and other negative results. All of that can later be used to fulfill the expectations that victimhood creates in your thoughts. Those thoughts are the real evil doers. Now that I understand the power of how my thoughts can hurt or help me, I quickly say a positive affirmation when a negative comes to mind.

* "I can do anything I choose to do."
* "I'm as happy as I make myself."
* "I refuse to let evil doer thoughts hold me back!"

Most people can't have 2 thoughts at the same time. So block out the evil-doers with something better until you break the habit of thinking victim thoughts. You can conquer those thoughts by consciously choosing to. It's fun to watch how much you can get when you do. Now I control my mind, instead of letting it keep me in prison.

I haven't posted to this blog all week because I'm so overwhelmed with writing. I feel bad since I try my best to maintain it. But guilt?? No way! I can only do my best. I have a tight deadline for a book and that must be my first priority till it's done. The DoorMat would have punished herself with guilt. Now I celebrate the liberation from those kind of thoughts!

Freedom in thinking allows you the opportunity to follow your passions! Then you have to do the work to manifest them. This former DoorMat is living that life now and it rocks. Join me!

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7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for posting it : )


You said: Most people can't have 2 thoughts at the same time.

I can easily have 2 thoughts at the same time. Is this wrong???

Daylle Deanna Schwartz said...

It would be unlikely to have 2 dominant thoughts at the same time. You might have more than one thing on your mind, but if you repeat a positive affirmation over and over, it makes it harder to think the other thought while you do.

JennYer said...

I do this. Let my mind go off on those kind of things. It's become my way but I hope I can change. I want to. All those thoughts do keep me in a prison.

PeterB said...

Those thoughts always get me yet I continue doing it. Must find a way to stop them. It's hard but they don't serve me well except to hold me back.

Daylle Deanna Schwartz said...

Get yourself out of prison JennYer!

You're right to want to stop Peter.

You both CAN do it!

will said...

I had been a prisoner of my own mind until my counselor pointed out that i was a victim of my own thoughts. kinda what lead me for your blog. It feels nice to be free from the prison of thoughts.

Great post.

James

Daylle Deanna Schwartz said...

Thanks for stopping by James and for your kind words. Freedom does rock!