Tips, Tools and Perspective for Being More Empowered

Welcome to my self-empowerment blog--as seen in The Huffington Post Guide to Blogging! I used to be a wimp and never got taken seriously. When I became one of the first chicks to start a record label, I learned to navigate the male dominated music industry and earned respect, without raising my voice or getting overtly tough. I transferred those skills into all areas of life and now get what I want from most people. I'll share those lessons here by talking about my observations of situations and habits that hold both men and women back from being as empowered as possible. I'll also give tips for more effective communication, handling yourself with more confidence, and in general, how to come across as more serious--whether it's at work, dealing with an annoying phone company, your mother, a romantic partner and anyone else you want to feel more in control with. Everybody can use more tools for taking control of their lives, like in my latest book, Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill). Please subscribe if you'd like more!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Law of Attraction in Action: Stopping Murphy’s Law in Its Tracks

This is post 38 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

How many times has something gone wrong, and then something else goes wrong? I’ve had times when it seems nothing goes right. I used to say that I was having a Murphy’s Law day—where it seemed like anything that could go wrong did. Back then I didn’t realize that my thoughts fueled Murphy’s Law.

When you see things going wrong and expect the next shoe to drop, it probably will. The Universe hears your expectation loud and clear and the Law of Attraction supports it.

People refer to Murphy’s Law as a belief that if anything can go wrong, it will
 go wrong. If you drop 3 pieces of buttered bread, all 3 will always land on the buttered side. I’ve also referred to Murphy’s Law as going from one bad luck situation to another. I get out late, then my elevator is slow, so I miss my train and my client falls through. That kind of chain of events is common. But it happens much more often when the first negative puts the expectation of more negatives into your thoughts.

When you let one negative experience create expectations of more things going wrong, you tell the Law of Attraction to bring on what you don’t want.

It’s so easy to succumb to the frustration of having things go wrong. It seems like our learned instincts is to let those kind of things bring us down. Even with all I know, I still go there sometimes. Feeling down from something not working out puts me in a bad mood, if I let it. Then my bad mood darkens my thoughts and expectations. “Well if this could go wrong, this and that will probably tank too!” Then when it does, it’s Murphy’s Law sabotaging me. But it’s not!

Expecting Murphy’s Law (the worst case scenario) to occur is YOU sabotaging YOU!

I get it now and try to stop the patterns when I see them happening. It’s not good to create negatives! I had a friend who I silently called Murphy. She was a lovely woman but her thoughts consistently made her life difficult. One day she told me:

"Everything keeps going wrong in my life. It began with my boyfriend deciding he had enough of New York. He moved far away to begin a new life without me. I cried for weeks and still feel like life hates me. I don’t seem to deserve happiness. After Bill left, I wondered what would go wrong next. Right after, my company relocated to a place I didn’t want to live in. So now I’m out of a job. What next? That same week my rent got raised so high that I have to move. This morning my toaster caught fire and is ruined and I broke the glass carafe for my coffeemaker. And my sister is sick and needs me to take care of her in my spare time.

I keep wondering what will go wrong next. Why do I have such bad luck?"

Hello! I tried to tell her it was her thoughts giving her that bad luck but she kept defending them and putting out more negative expectations. No matter what I said, she whined and moaned about how everything bad always happens to her. Loud and clear to the Universe. And the Law of Attraction brought her the bad luck she was expecting.

Murphy’s Law is no more than your negative thoughts coming to fruition.

If you watch the bread fall and think “I bet all the slices will land on the buttered side, they will.” When I drop my bread, I repeat “buttered side up” as they fall, and they always land that way. On Sunday I was riding home from a day out with family in New Jersey. The driver turned on the radio and heard about very long backups at the bridge we were heading to. He said, “It never fails. No matter what time I go home, the bridge is backed up.”

I cut him off and asked him to think happy thoughts since I expected smooth traffic all the way home.

Whenever he expressed concern, I stopped him with a positive expectation. He promised to work with me and was shocked but happy to find no major traffic by the time we got to the bridge. It was what I expected and I kept his thoughts from sabotaging that. Next time you’re having a Murphy’s Law moment:

* Recognize it. Awareness is key to preventing the negatives.

* Choose to stop it. Your thoughts are YOUR choice. Only you can change the course of Murphy’s Law. Make sure you see the bread falling butter side up.

* Do positive affirmations. Since it’s hard to think 2 thoughts at one time, affirmations can take the place of negative expectations. “Good things are happening for me.” “I have very good luck.”

* Break a Murphy’s Law chain with a declaration. When one thing after another goes wrong for me, I take the energy from my anger and frustration and with emotion, declare, “That’s it! No more negatives! This is the first minute of the rest of my life and I CHOOSE to have things go very positively from here on.” It always breaks the cycle. Always! I say it with the fury I feel and the strong desire to change the pattern.

You have the power to have a Murphy’s Law free life, or at least to curtail any patterns that begin. When something goes wrong, instead of letting the negatives create your thoughts, allow positive expectations to heal your situation. Nip negatives in the bud right away so they don’t pervade your life.

I love having the power to turn my life around. You do too. Use it can create a life that attracts lots of things to feel joyous about!

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series..

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positively present said...

That's great! I think it's a really good idea to put an end to the negative by saying "No more negative!" I like that idea. :) Wonderful post!

Daylle Deanna Schwartz said...

Thanks again for your kind words. Negatives can be stopped when we decide to stop them.

Bob Tamoa said...

This is so true. I've worked myself up when things went wrong and was expecting more things to go wrong and they did. It's so important to watch what you say and think after the first thing that goes wrong so it doesn't bring on a lot more. This is a good reminder. Many of us know this pattern but sink into it when we're upset and get down.

Pinkybow said...

I've noticed that stuff happens in groups. This makes so much sense. Once I begin to expect more things to go wrong, they do. Time to monitor my thoughts more! Thanks for the wake up!