Resolve to Do Your Best

As New Years Eve approaches, people are making their resolutions, knowing they probably won’t be able to keep them, but enjoying for the moment the declaration of lofty goals:

* Lose weight.
* Find a good romantic partner.
* Make more money.
* Get healthier.
* Seek a better job.

Yada Yada Yada! I used to do this too. It’s so easy to get caught up in the rush of knowing you will enter a new year, and by doing so, you’ll gain the resolve to do what you’ve never been able to do before—often many tough things at once. I’d feel so happy as I affirmed all the goals I’d accomplish next year—until the letdown of beginning the new year and realizing that nothing in me had changed.

Resolutions are often empty words that end up making you feel worse when you can’t fulfill them.

Just because it’s 2009, you're still the same person. Your appetite will be the same. The change of year won’t make you want to go to the gym more after the first few days of trying, or make you more attractive to a romantic partner, or give you the strength to change your life on all the levels you may want to. Accept that! While the year can’t change anything, YOU can make whatever you want happen. A new year isn’t some magic time. But YOU always have the power to change your life IF you want to.

Every New Years eve, while others are out partying and reveling in the resolutions they believe for the moment, I’m doing spiritual rituals to cleanse for the new year and begin on a positive foot.

Even if I go out, I always make time—before or after—to do my traditional work. I begin cleaning early in December. On the day of New Years eve, I finish by dusting and vacuuming my whole apartment. If I feel anger toward anyone (which I don’t this year), I write the person a detailed letter, explaining how I feel, read it aloud with emotion, forgive them in my heart, and then burn it. From the afternoon on, I listen to spoken CDs by great people like Esther and Jerry Hicks, Wayne Dyer, etc. At some point in the evening, I lie down and put on a relaxing CD or two.

For me, New Years Eve is about relaxing, nurturing and preparing to enter the new year in a good place, and with good intentions, not unrealistic ones.

As midnight approaches, either solo or with my partner, I thank each person in my life for being there and say why I’m grateful for him or her. I do this out loud, with feeling. Then I affirm every blessing I can think of and give thanks for each. This gratitude exercise usually sets off some passionate, happy tears. Then I say my only resolution loudly. It’s the same every year:

“I resolve to do my best to continue to grow into the potential of who can be.”

That says it all. I may not be able to lose the weight I’d like but I can do my best to try. You have the potential to achieve your goals and dreams. When you focus on growing into it, instead of lofty goals that become too hard to attain quickly, you may have an easier time making that resolution come true. Once I declare my resolution, I then declare my intentions, which is different. Instead of broad statements of grand resolutions, my intentions are what I can and will work to make happen, just like I set intentions whenever I want something.

* I’d never resolve to lose 20 pounds but I intend to cut back on sugar and eat smaller portions. This doesn’t have a number to achieve but it does help me get to action.

* I don’t resolve to meet a wonderful romantic partner but I intend to be more loving to me. That enables me to attract someone when the time is right, which may not be this year.

* Resolving to become rich is elusive. Intending to seek out other income sources is something that can be done successfully.

* I won’t resolve to stop a bad habit that I’ve had all my life. You can’t just stop biting your nails or smoking or saying “you know” too much or any other habits you may have. But I would intend to do my best to cut back on doing it.

I’m content with doing my best to grow into the potential of what I can be. It’s doable and in my control. I have intentions for my career that I’ve put out for the Law of Attraction to bring back to me. I KNOW they will happen IF I work toward achieving them and am very careful about my thoughts.

Resolve to grow into the potential of what you can be! Then make a conscious effort—through work and positive and clear intentions—to make it happen. I wish you all a blessed, happy, healthy and satisfying New Year, filled with the abundance you attract on all levels!

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

Law of Attraction in Action: Making Room for Better Things

This is post 20 in my series on the Law of Attraction, inspired by watching Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life, the movie, expanded version. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day!

I’ve been cleaning and clearing stuff out for the last few weeks. Now I’m in intense clearing mode. I never did that when I was a DoorMat. In fact, back then I hoarded everything. I grew up with a mom, bless her heart, who was a clean-o-holic. She cleaned constantly and got rid of anything SHE felt was unnecessary, including my personal things.

So when I left home, everything I still had went with me, and I vowed to never let go of anything in the future. That was my distorted feeling of being in control.

For years I kept my word. I had stuff everywhere. I sometimes didn’t even know where it came from. I had clothes from high school, in case I lost enough weight to wear them again or they came back into style. There were books I’d never read again, old magazines, and tons of stuff I never looked at. I became a pack-rat, and a slob. I thought it felt good holding onto everything. But I really didn’t like living amidst so much clutter and disorganization. Despite that, I continued.

Until I read You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay, which enlightened me about getting rid of stuff to make room for new and better things.

I began the book slowly and tried to attract more. As it worked, I tried more. When I finally got to the chapter on getting rid of clutter, a big light went on in my head. It was actually more like an explosion and I tackled clearing out lots of stuff with a vengeance. When I held onto everything, the Law of Attraction supported keeping me stuck. I realized how stuck I felt and how much I hated my closets swollen with clothing I didn’t wear and seeing stuff all around me that I didn’t use.

Accepting how much I held myself back by holding onto old stuff was an awakening. I wanted to make room for more things!

That night I gathered big bags and began to sort through stuff. The next day, I tackled my closets. My friend’s sister was assisting me with my business part time for the summer. She was also a neat freak and loved tidying up anything I gave her permission to. May arrived as I began my clothing purge. She was shocked, knowing my former attitude about hanging onto everything. She was very happy for me. But even she wasn’t prepared for my throwaway fashion show. While she liked cleaning, I scared her at first!

I began to try on everything I hadn’t worn in a while and modeled each for her. Anything she didn’t have enthusiasm for went into a bag to give away.

May got nervous and suggested I shouldn’t trash everything she didn’t love. She warned I might change my mind later. I think she thought I’d lost some marbles! When she saw how much got bagged, she tried to convince me to calm down and think before tossing. She didn’t want to be responsible for me giving away things I might regret later. But there was nothing to worry about. I didn’t bring out the clothes I wore and liked a lot. It was just stuff I hardly, or never, wore and needed a little prodding to get rid of.

I was so revved by then about cleaning so the Law of Attraction would respond by bringing more good into my life, that I cheered every time I put stuff in a bag. The more bags I filled, the more empowered I felt. I didn’t want to live like a slob! I loved my newfound power tool and got rid of almost half my clothing. And I also tossed a ton of other things. From that point on my life changed.

With each thing I bagged, my self-esteem rose a little and I felt more in control of my life.

And, with it, I began to attract healthier people and situations. I never regretted getting rid of so much. There were many huge garbage bags to bring to a charity or toss. Since then, I’ve made it a point to clear out as much as possible before the new year, so I enter it with more room to attract better goodies. I’ll go through every nook and cranny of my apartment, getting rid of anything I can live without and making sure it’s spotless to welcome 2009.

Whenever I feel down or scared, I clean and get rid of stuff. Shortly after, my mood lifts.

Clearing stuff out of your living space, car and your life creates a vacuum that attracts other things. If you do what you can to put out to the Universe what you’d like, you’ll have the best shot at getting it. As you clean or toss stuff, say your own version of, “I’m getting rid of stuff to make room to attract [FILL IN THE BLANK]!”

There’s still time to purge your world and create a vacuum to attract more of what you want. Go through your closets and drawers NOW! Start the New Year in a healthy, clean living space place so the Law of Attraction can work with you to fulfill your desires.

Gotta get back to cleaning now! ☺

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series.

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

Hope, Faith & Love, with David M. Bailey

The holiday spirit is high. People feel love during this season. Isn’t it a shame so many can’t hold onto that spirit for the whole year?!? Even in this bad economy, there are many people who are worse off. Yet many of them look forward with anticipation of better things to come, instead of having a “woe is me attitude. One of them is singer/songwriter, David Bailey.

You don’t need to have your life going well to count your blessings and hold onto faith that your life will get better.

In July 1996, he was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor and told he’d die before Christmas. He chose life and proving the docs wrong over letting the bad news come true! For twelve years, he’s been traveling the country and the world--a troubadour of hope--bringing his songs of faith, hope and love to appreciative audiences. But last month he had another setback. On November 20 2008, David had surgery to remove a cyst and new tumor. He’s now going through treatment to fight again.

For over a month, David has written every day, lyrically, about what he was going through. It was a very difficult process to go through the treatment and keep his spirits up. Each daily message is on his site. You can be inspired by them!

I asked David if I could post one here. If he can stay hopeful amidst the gloom and pain of the healing process of beating a second brain tumor, we all can overcome the negatives in our lives. So for Christmas, I share his words of hope. Check out David’s site for more hope. His CDs are amazing tributes to his spirit and desire to share his positive spirit with others.

A Few Words of Wisdom by David M. Bailey

Fix your roof while the sun is shining
- One day u know it's gonna rain
Never stop counting your blessings
It helps give perspective to your pain
Learn the ropes, guard your hopes.
Paddle your own canoe
Don't get in the way of who you're meant to be
Do what you love and love what you do
Exercise your imagination
Never lose the child in your heart
Take your time when you turn a corner
Treat each day like a brand new start
Plan your work and work your plan
Always try to give more than you take
Dream big, learn to fall
Don't disregard the value of mistakes
Be slow to anger, then let it die fast
Remember from where it is you came
Try to be the first to forgive
Understand more than you can explain
Enjoy the journey as much as the stay
Enjoy the moment as much as the day
Remember ever good has a better
Remember every bad has a worse
Remember every castle has a dungeon
Learn that every blessing has a curse
Get up long before the dew is gone
Take each and every day as it comes
Sing your song in the dead of night
If you can't recall the words you can always hum
Make sure your backbone is stronger than you wishbone
Be flexible, be curious, be daring, be bold
Be smart, be careful And by all means,
take your sweet time getting old
Aim high, live out loud
Don't believe everything you hear
Everybody has every right to be wrong --
And everything looks different through tears
There are at least two sides to every story
Who the hero is can be hard o tell
Bad things happen to good people
But good folks can do bad things as well
Remember that hate will always kill your soul
And revenge is never worth your while
Love people more than they deserve
And when you don't know what to say, just smile
It's not enough to learn your lesson
you gotta learn not to forget it
Take a chance when you think you need to
-- And if it don't work out -- don't regret it
If you don't run, you won't trip but you might not arrive
Try not to lose your sense of humor
Laughter helps to keep your heart alive
Dare your soul to go beyond that which you can see
Then find the faith to know that the best is yet to be
At least it's always seemed that way to me
Yeah, the best is yet to be.

David is getting lots of prayers but if you have a minute, say one for his healing! He's now home and still fighting hard.

I wish you all a blessed holiday season! ☺

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

Law of Attraction in Action: Living Like a Winner

This is the 19th post in my series on the Law of Attraction, inspired by watching Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life, the movie, expanded version. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day!

Many people hope and dream and wish to be successful in what they want to have. Yet they don’t know how to cross over the line from longing to making it a reality. For the Law of Attraction to work, dreams must begin in your head and then also begin to manifest in your head. It’s not just about wanting and then doing. Or saying prayers. It must come alive in your thoughts and beliefs.

You must feel it happening and know it’s in the works to have the best chance at success.

My Law of Attraction in Action: Luck post talked about how people see me as lucky. But we create our own luck by what we attract with our intentions. You can become the lucky person that others envy by cultivating what you want in your thoughts. Hoping expresses doubt. Thinking as if you already have what you want helps make it real. A winning attitude helps build the confidence to win.

Olympic Figure Skater, Nancy Kerrigan said, "Part of being a champ is acting like a champ. You have to learn how to win and not run away when you lose. Everyone has bad stretches and real successes. Either way, you have to be careful not to lose your confidence or get too confident."

I often quote Rene Descarte’s empowering thought, “I think, therefore I am.” Five small words make up this HUGE mindset. If you think it, you will be it. That includes being a loser or failure. When you act the role of the person you want to be, you can grow into it. If you doubt it will happen, it won’t. If you say lots of prayers, you’ll be very good at praying—and wondering why you’re not getting the goods.

If you want to be a winner at what you hope to do or be, become it in your thoughts and act like it’s already who you are or that what you want is yours.

When I wanted to be a writer, I got a new business card that identified me as a writer. I wasn’t published. Nor was I that good yet. But I intended to be and gave out the card as a writer. And I wrote and wrote, every day. I got better. It took a while to get the guts to try to get published, but it all began with becoming a writer in my head. You can’t get to Z from A without going through the other 25 letters of the alphabet. People get impatient and if the instant gratification they want doesn’t come fast, they lose faith.

The greatest expression of faith comes when things aren’t looking good.

If you express that you can’t call yourself what you want to be yet, the Law of Attraction picks up on it and keeps you from being it. Then you feel like you’ve lost, and your faith goes down the toilet. My faith has gotten very strong by using it with the patience to wait until it’s the right time for my desires to manifest. If it takes ages, my faith tells me that the Universe is just waiting for the perfect time. Because I have so much faith, I can wait without stress.

Even if you feel insecure in a situation, fake confidence! Put your head up, shoulders back, a smile on your face and with a few deep breaths, speak with conviction. Then the Law of Attraction can pick up on that. It feels much better than believing what you want will never happen, and making that true with your thoughts.

When you live as the person you CHOOSE to be, the Law of Attraction will support your beliefs and guide you to making it a reality. Start the New Year right with winning thoughts!

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

The Gift of Charity

My last post was Gifts that Nurture People & Our Planet. Charities are hurting in this bad economy. If you have someone who might appreciate knowing that the gift you give them is helping others, or you just want to do something kind for the holidays, here are a few suggestions. There are so many ways to give to others during this season. These are a few good ones I came across. I’m not going into many details with them. Check each website for that.

Cleanup is bar soap shaped like a landmine and sold to raise money to support landmine removal, survivor assistance and The Cambodia Landmine Museum.

The Indego Africa Project sells craft baskets and ornaments made by Rwandan women, and 100% of the profits go toward their ongoing training in IT, accounting, and other skills that will help them lift themselves out of poverty, and help Rwanda compete in the global economy. After the tragic genocide of the 1990s, Rwandans are looking toward the future, and every day Indego Africa customers are helping them.

Powered Green is a renewable energy company based around a unique wind energy sponsorship that comes with a 'Powered Green' emblem for laptop and desktop computers.

Lindsay Olive Holiday Wreath: I happen to adore Lindsay Olives. For the holiday season, they created a wreath using fresh, green olive branches, which are universally recognized as a symbol of peace, along with branches from bay and eucalyptus trees, hand woven together to create a 20-inch round wreath. Each is handmade when ordered so it’s as fresh and long-lasting as possible. The branches are harvested from California groves and, over time, dry to a beautiful silvery green. Proceeds from the wreath sales go to The Meals On Wheels Association of America (MOWAA). It’s available through December. Check it out at Lindsay Olives.

CharityChoice Gift Cards: Instead of sending a physical gift card, e-cards can be sent online with a personalized message for all occasions - minimizing the carbon footprint of the product. There are over 100 nationally recognized non-profit organizations on the website organized by category. The recipient can choose up to 3 charities of their choice to donate the value of the CharityChoice gift. All of the proceeds go to a charity.

The Arbor Day Foundation has several gifts that give back to the earth. Give-A-Tree Cards allow you to send holiday greetings (and for other occasions, too) and plant trees in America’s national forests. Every card plants a tree in honor of the recipient in a forest that has been devastated by wildfires, insects or disease. Arbor Day Specialty Coffee helps preserve the Earth’s precious rain forests.

The Fresh Air Fund asked me to let you know they rely on donations this time of year to keep their programs strong for the summer months. They have a microsite which explains everything.

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

Giving Gifts That Nurture People & Our Planet

I’m a big believer in helping to nurture yourself. During gift-giving season, I also advocate giving those you love something that will make them feel good. What better way to show that you care about someone than to give a gift that brings joy/warmth/comfort or contributes to their good health! And what better gift to yourself and everyone to seek out products that are environmentally friendly?! I tried to find things that aren’t the typical gifts and found them!

So here's a list of recommendations for gifts to give others, and yourself.

These are all things I love! I mean love! So please bookmark this post and come back to it when you have to give a gift later in the year too. Forward the link to others too! And please don’t forget yourself! The best time to treat yourself is often. ☺ The more loving your are to YOU, the more good things you attract. So keep these gifts in mind for the whole year, for when you need gifts for family, friends and for you, just because…

NOTE TO GUYS! Skin care products aren’t just for girls. Using them makes you feel good too! And if you hate shopping, use the following to just click and order. ☺

Here we go with my recommended goodies:

BOOKS

I just have 3 books to recommend now. I’ll have a bunch more in my post with gifts for yourself, right after the new year begins.

The Extreme Art of Self-Care: by Cheryl Richardson: I’m a big advocate of being self-loving to develop good self-esteem and happiness. So I’m so delighted to recommend this book as a gift of love for anyone you care about, especially YOU! The book’s format is very user–friendly. The tips are broken down into bullet points, boxes and small sections so it’s easier to read and digest. Cheryl’s voice feels like a friend speaking to you. This book is filled with action that you can take to be kinder and more nurturing to yourself. It helps wake you up to what you may be doing that keeps you from making yourself a priority in the scheme of your life and gives concrete suggestions for taking radical action to improve your life by creating healthier habits to maintain a more self-nurturing standard of living. I’m delighted that next month I’ll have an interview with Cheryl Richardson as part of my Embracing SUCCESS interview series. Stay tuned!

The Way of the Buddha: I’m not a Buddhist but many folks say I sound like one. The principles are so spiritual that they go along with my basic philosophy of living a spiritual life. This GORGEOUS book, with Illustrations from the Rubin Museum of Art, is a wonderful gift for anyone who’s spiritual and is at least open to Buddhist principles. The book’s illustrations with traditional Buddhist artwork make it a joy to read the inspirational words. It’s a small and inexpensive gift for a spiritual person.

The Anywhere, Anytime Chill Guide: by Kate Hanley. This easy to read, fun book is an especially good gift for a girlfriend! It offers natural solutions to 77 stressful situations, from bad hair days to broken heats, constipation to computer crashes, with remedies are drawn from yoga, meditation, acupressure, and more that are easy to fit into a busy day—bite-sized serenity for busy women in need of some serious chill. The author, known as “Ms. Mindbody,” gives practical and humorous step-by-step instructions for taking charge of your well-being. Like me, Kate writes from personal experience, giving tips that worked for her.

The Art of Relaxation—A Spa for Your Mind: Dr. Carole Lieberman is a psychiatrist with a multi-dimensional career in many areas of media. She is the creator of America's first in-flight entertainment Relaxation Channel (audio and video) narrated by a psychiatrist. She recorded this wonderful CD to bring her soothing voice and message to anyone who needs a good dose of relaxation without leaving home. Her gentle voice will be your guide to a sense of balance and peacefulness.

FOR CHOCOLATE LOVERS

I LOVE chocolate! So I must include some of my favorite chocolate treats that nurture. I know that all chocolate can feel nurturing, but it also has lots of calories. I was thrilled to learn that dark chocolate in particular is recommended as something to have every day, in moderation, because it’s a terrific anti-oxidant. Sure beats taking supplement! Chocolate is a good mood booster too. I found 4 chocolate products that I LOVE—2 edible and 2 with no calories but are yummy.

IgnaFire Chocolates: I had to try these unprocessed dark chocolates made from whole, stone-ground cacao beans and lightly sweetened with Mexican sugar. They don’t remove or add cacao butter and avoid extensive heating and industrial processing, keeping all the healthful flavanols and antioxidants that occur naturally in the bean and its natural flavor. This might be the healthiest chocolate you can eat! They’re available in 4 rich flavors—cacao, cinnamon, vanilla, and moka (I can’t decide on my favorite!)—and also in ground powder for making hot chocolate. The morsels feel bit grainy on the tongue, which I actually like. I let one melt as I resist chewing too much. Just a few satisfies my chocolate cravings. These hearty little chocolates make a great gift for men, since they’re more gritty and rich! And they’re great to bring when you’re invited for dinner in their sweet natural packaging. The papers accompanying the chocolates can be washed down the sink or composted!

Intentional Chocolate™: I was curious to read about this chocolate that’s embedded with good intentions by Tibetan monks—infused into the chocolate from advanced meditators—some who’ve trained with the Dalai Lama—and are transferred to those who eat it. Each product includes this intention: “Whoever consumes this chocolate will manifest optimal health and functioning at physical, emotional and mental levels, and in particular will enjoy an increased sense of energy, vigor and well-being for the benefit of all beings.” I had to try some, since I love chocolate AND being healthy! I’ve been enjoying the chocolate for 5 days, both dark and milk versions. It’s delicious! Oddly, when I finish a portion, I feel very satisfied. Usually I can usually nibble indefinitely and still want more.And while this has been a stressful week, I feel more energetic and relaxed than usual. When I went for acupuncture last night, my doc saw improvement. Coincidence? My imagination? Whatever it is, I feel healthier so I shall continue to eat it.

Peruvian Chocolate Sugar Scrub: Have you ever dreamed about being immersed in chocolate? This scrub gives you chocolate from neck to toe. It smells yummy and leaves my skin feeling exceptionally soft, and delicious (pun intended!). Founded by Lela Barker after she saw research indicating that some cosmetic preservatives could cause breast tumors, Bella Luccè uses exotic ingredients that are environmentally friendly in all their products—a luxurious line of healthy luxuries! While I love eating chocolate, using their chocolate scrub on my body was a calorie free treat! Peruvian Chocolate Sugar Scrub is a loving gift for your skin and as a gift to anyone you want to make smile. ☺

Mint chocolate chip lip balm: For tasty, chocolaty lips, this balm is in one of my favorite flavors for ice cream, but unlike my sweet, fattening treat, this all natural lip balm comes in a rich base of moisture-holding, protective oils. A great stocking stuffer and a keeper to bring with you wherever you go to treat your lips to scrumptious protection.

BODY CARE

Nurturing your body is a tremendous gift of love to yourself. Giving gifts that help others do this shows you care. Here are some gifts I found that make me feel more loving. I encourage you to try them.

Luxur-Eco: This company makes products that are the ultimate of luxury. Their Eco-friendly, earth sustaining, and 100% biodegradable home and fashion items including bamboo towels, blankets, bathrobes, slippers, spa wraps and sheets, takes soft to the next level. When I picked up a towel it felt like silk. Yet it’s very absorbent! I’m bookmarking this site to get the towels for baby gifts as the softness would make any mom delighted to use it on their little one! The bamboo robe is soft as cashmere and the bamboo slippers light and comfy. The bamboo makes the products much more absorbent than cotton and the antibacterial qualities in these products are an added bonus. I don't know how bamboo can make fabric so soft, but WOW! These products feel A LOT more expensive than they are!

YogaToes: I’m a foot person. Getting reflexology helps my whole body feel healthier so I know the importance of pampering your feet. I was intrigued by YogaToes, which stretches the toes and helps the feet feel more flexible and stronger. I enjoy putting them on each day when I’m writing and let them exercise my feet while I sit! Their Aloe Breeze foot mist is refreshing and helps the YogaToes slide on. I walk and run a lot and the YogaToes help my feet feel more aligned. I also enjoy putting on their Grapefruit Ginger Moisturizing Foot Cream before I go to sleep. It smells and feels yummy. The company has lots of other gifts to pamper yours and your loved ones' feet. Gotta keep them healthy and fit in order for them to serve you best! ☺

Softress skin care: What could be better than skin care products created by a mother’s love and desire to nurture her child?!? Nina Birnbaum did just that when she developed products to manage her daughter's eczema and condition her dry, curly hair--fragrance-free, chemical-free body oils for dry, sensitive skin. My skin gets dry in winter since I continue to run and power walk. The first time I tried the SoftHands, which has macadamia oil to soothe and heal very dry hands and cuticles, it felt like I was applying liquid silk. My hands felt so soft and smooth. I was delighted that they didn’t feel greasy either. I also tried E-Blend, great for extremely dry skin, especially on areas where running in the cold of winter dries my skin the most, like my legs. Nina suggested putting a drop on my lips at bedtime and they were noticeably softer in the morning. Softress has other products to choose from as gifts for someone you care about—from babies to adults—or a nurturing gift of love to yourself. Use the promotional code DAYLLE, for a 15% discount.

Color Therapy Masks: I love facial masks but don’t use them often because they can be messy to leave on. Color Therapy Masks are literally like a mask you peel the back off of and stick onto your face. It has all sorts of skin nutrients that get absorbed into the skin. No drips and you don’t wash it off, which makes it super easy to use! The results? Very soft skin! There are three colors—Rejuvenating, Revitalizing and Relaxing. I put one on and allow myself to relax so the scientific ingredients and botanical extracts can do their job at softening and rejuvenating my skin. It’s a great nurturing gift for yourself or to give a little TLC to your friends. Become Beauty also has an assortment of other nurturing products.

Herban Lifestyle body balm: This company lovingly makes all natural, reasonably priced skin care products that soothe and nourish. All products contain pure oils, essential oils and herbs, the majority of which are either certified organic, pesticide-free/chemical-free and/or ethically wildcrafted. I mentioned the lip balm earlier and this body balm is scented and healing too. It’s in a small tin that you can carry with you for winter emergencies! All packaging is recyclable.

YUMMIES

I LOVE getting gifts you can eat or drink. So practical! So I Included these favorites in case you agree with me and want to give them as well as receive.

[me] & goji: I love eating healthy cereals and was thrilled to discover this company! This is the first custom cereal and granola company, created for people with specific tastes and nutritional needs. Their sites offers over 40 natural and organic ingredients to choose from that include the healthiest superfoods on earth and you can create and name a mix for yourself, to give as a gift, or purchase a gift certificate so those you care about can create their own. I got my own. It was so much fun to go through the different choices and choose the varieties of grains, fruits and nuts. When my canister of custom made cereal arrived, I confess that I opened it and began munching right away. What a fabulous healthy treat and unusual gift for people who like to eat healthy!

800-4-COFFEE: The company says, “Why send flowers when you can send coffee?” I love coffee and these baskets are a practical gift for the holidays, to say thank you and more. These coffee and tea baskets, with other goodies that go well with these beverages, are perfect for any holiday or special occasion. Each one can be personalized with an added gift based on the recipients hobbies for that extra personal touch. The also have Healthy and Organic baskets and there’s an option to add a music CD to it. Use coupon code: DAYLLE for a 10% discount.

Soyfee: This is the first 100% Organic Soybean Coffee Alternative. I tried it and it’s an interesting drink. It had a pungent smell when I opened the bag but it was actually an enjoyable drink. I had the original roast, though it comes in flavors too, and I added some cinnamon to it, which I liked. It looks like coffee and while it tastes different, it did have a coffee feel when I drank it. If you need a healthy substitute for coffee, this might be the gift you need!

MISCELLANEOUS GOODIES

GreenPan: I worry about all the reports about Teflon pans being unhealthy to cook in. That’s why I was so delighted to get a GreenPan frying pan. It’s the first eco-friendly line of non-stick cookware made with Thermolon, a coating that’s completely PTFE-free and PFOA-free in manufacturing. I didn’t need to use cooking spray or oil and my food didn’t stick! It’s endorsed by celebrity chef Todd English and now me! It’s a great, long-lasting gift. Keep it in mind for a wedding or anniversary gift too!

5-Pack Car Care Kit: by Green Earth Technologies has the supplies to get your vehicle clean such as the G-Wash Car Wash, the G-Glass Glass Cleaner, the G-Wheel Brake Dust Removing Cleaner, the G-Tire Ultimate Tire Shine and the G-Wheel Brake Dust Shield. The appearance products are all safe to use by children, so parents can use the products with their kids and teach them the importance of being environmentally conscious. Green clean rocks!

Bejeweled 2: I love playing games. That’s why I’ve always avoided putting any into my computer. When I read about Bejeweled 2, it piqued my interest, since it was recommended for relaxation, which I can never get enough of. So I tried it and I must say, it has truly made a big difference for me. Whenever I’m feeling on edge or rushed, I allow myself 15 minutes of playing. It usually settles me down. It also helps me to be more focused. If you’re gonna get a game, this is a good one!

Good News Network: This is a clearinghouse for the gathering and dissemination of positive news stories from around the globe. They believe that good news isn’t in short supply; the advertising of it is. It may not be a material gift but getting good news each day will put a smile on the face of you and your loved ones. You can send a year of good news with a gift certificate for this positive service that sends good news to your computer every morning.

KIDS’ BOOKS

Archibald's Swiss Cheese Mountain: by Sylvia Lieberman (Author), Jeremy Wendell (Illustrator) I LOVE this award-winning book! It’s bright and cheery for ages 4-8. It made ME smile looking through it. The book tells and illustrates the story of a little mouse with a big heart who helps children reach their big dreams. Archibald will delight any child who receives this book. It sure delighted me! Endorsed by a list of notable people, it teaches some valuable lessons about life in a very sweet way. A portion of sales goes to children's charities.

All the Wrong People Have Self-Esteem: An Inappropriate Book for Young Ladies*: by Laurie Rosenwald. This is a really cute, very different kind of book for teenage girls who don’t like to conform. It’s illustrated with lots of fun pictures and thought provoking messages. It’s written by Laurie Rosenwald, an award winning designer who teaches a workshop called, “How to Make Mistakes on Purpose.” Her first picture book, And To Name But Just a Few: Red, Yellow, Green, Blue, was named a Scholastic Parent & Child Best Book of 2007.

Hope you found my gift guide helpful! On Saturday I’ll post websites that sell products with proceeds going to charities or that have ways to make a difference in the world in someone’s name.

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

I’m an Animal!

I was working out today with my trainer. As I pushed myself to new heights with free weights, he told me I’m an animal. I acted hurt and told him it’s not nice to call a girl an animal. But I knew he meant it as a compliment, even while I teased him. This was a far cry from the exercise I did when I was a DoorMat.


Part of what kept me stuck in DoorMatville was feeling very fat. While I wasn’t the big fat pig I saw myself as, I did have extra flab and the cellulite most women have. Back then, I thought I was the only one. I had a boyfriend who once let me lift free weights with him and I loved it. I finally got up the nerve to join a gym, excited to try working with free weights again. But when I arrived, I was directed to a room with some simple machines and women chatting as they acted like they were working out. The people who worked there told me that was where I belonged. And the DoorMat in me accepted it.

I hated using the machines designated for the chicks while the guys got to use the free weights!

One day I got brave and went into the free weight room. My desire to work out was too strong to ignore. I wandered around the room, trying to figure out what to do. I had so little experience with weights. No one offered help. I asked one of the guys who worked there for guidance but he told me to go back to the girls room. The guys watched me with smirks as I tried to figure out which weight was right for me. It got too uncomfortable and I gave up. I never went back to a gym again.

Over the years the memories remained strong. I avoided gyms. That seemed the best way to deal with my frustrations—until my desire to work out got strong again.

This time I felt more in control of myself. No more DoorMat acceptance of my “place” in the gym! I decided I needed to work with a trainer to guide me. I researched and found one who could do slow motion weight training with me. It taught me form and made me strong fast. After a year of that, I joined a local gym and got a trainer who continues to push me. Since I began, I’ve been determined to become as good as I can be.

So I push myself hard, practicing having excellent form and enjoying every minute.

Now I feel completely at home in the gym! My training has paid off. The muscily guys in the free weight room accept me. Sometimes they encourage me when I’m using some heavier weights. Even when I’m there without my trainer, I belong now! Today when my trainer called me an animal, I knew I’d come far. He reassured me that it meant he was impressed with what I do.

No more DoorMat who cowers on the side and doesn’t belong in the free weight room! I’m an animal who’s earned her place there and it feels great! Overcoming a fear of doing something or tackling something you’ve been told you can’t do is a great way to improve your self-esteem. Next time someone says “You can’t do…”, give them my un-DoorMat response—“Why not?” And then I make the effort to do it. I never thought I’d like being called an animal but now that I own myself, I can feel good about it. You can do things you thought you couldn't do too once you let go of old messages and decide to do it!

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

Law of Attraction in Action: Interview with Suki Duggan, Owner, Donsuki Townhouse Salon

This is the 18th post in my Law of Attraction in Action series. It's my first interview with someone who exemplifies its principles, combined with my Embracing SUCCESS series. After interviewing Suki Duggan, I knew she belonged here. After starting off with nothing but her great spirit and determined beliefs, Suki was able to put out her intention to succeed, and she didn’t stop until she did. Even today, she keeps going, showing the Universe what she wants. It returns to her multiplied. Suki is a fantastic example of the Law of Attraction in action!

Suki owns Donsuki Townhouse Salon, with 5-stories that houses top industry stylists, estheticians, nail artists and makeup artists under one roof in Manhattan. Her business keeps booming, due to her talent, tenacity, and good business principles. Suki came to NY from Korea in the 70’s, knowing minimal English, to study violin at the prestigious Julliard School of Music. When she realized her true passion, she dropped out of Julliard to begin her hair career. Her salon is now a multi-million dollar empire. Suki brings her upbeat spirit to her business and attracts the SUCCESS she is determined to have.


What made you decide to come to NYC? I play the violin and wanted to go to Julliard. That was my goal. I had some basic English grammar and could read enough. Having a conversation was more difficult. But it was my dream! I was 17 and got into Julliard. I was more excited than scared.

How did you switch from the violin to hair? During summer vacation, I wanted to make some money. One day I looked up to the second floor of a building on 57th Street. There were a lot of people, hustling and bustling around, with blow dryers and doing many things in a salon. I went in and asked for a job. The boss was a Frenchman. He was impressed with me, didn’t ask if I had experience and hired me to be his assistant. I’d never even seen a blow dryer! I watched very carefully. About two hours later he gave me a client to blow dry. I told him I didn’t know how. He said, “Didn’t you watch me for two hours?” So I started doing it. That was the beginning of my career.

How did you move up? I learned by doing it. My persistence helped me and I set goals—in three months was going to be the best assistant! My boss told me to find people to practice cutting hair on. I stopped people on the street, and asked if they’d like to have a free haircut. They came after work to the salon. I cut their hair and showed my boss. He was surprised that I’d done so well and loved every haircut! By the end of the summer when my vacation was over, he gave me my own chair and I began to make money!

Was there a turning point? A New York Times journalist came to have her hair cut. She wrote an article about it. Then I had a long line of people. I was very innocent then and didn’t know why all these people were coming. I started making so much money I never went back to school. I decided that if I’m going to be a hairdresser, I’m going to do it all the way.

How did you get your first salon? I worked very hard for a few years in the salon. Then I met Donald, my partner, and we opened a salon. We hired 14 people. It was a very nice business. But in the late eighties/early nineties, there was a very big thing with AIDS. I had eleven people die from it and was left with just two hairdressers. My rent was $20,000 a month. A lot of people say I’m always happy because I’m always smiling. But I did a lot of crying. There was a rumor going around—“Suki is going to close.” I was upset with this! I said to myself, “Suki doesn’t have failure in her vocabulary!” I had to make it.

How did you stay strong? Since everybody talked about me, no one would come to work for me. Meanwhile, there was $20,000 in rent to pay. I realized that rent was the same if I worked Saturday and Sunday too. So I gave 50% off if they came on Sunday and cut from 9AM to 8PM. I got up at 6AM and gave out fliers. Sometimes it was very cold. People asked how I could do it and called me a cheap person. I didn’t feel shame. You know what? You have to make it happen! So I continued to do it. You have to see positive things and deliver. As I got more clients, more hairdressers came in. My husband supported me mentally and spiritually, 100%. And we made it happen! Then we bought the building we’re in now. And here I am.

What kept you going? When I was a little girl I had no parents. So I had to always do things by myself. I realized young that I had two choices—either you go downhill, or you only know about going up. That’s all I had. It’s very, very hard to go up but easy to go down. As a girl I learned to try my best. When people said, “Suki is going to fail,” I decided to get sweet revenge. I thought, ”I’ll show them what I can do.” This is how I am.

How does spirituality help you? I always tell my daughter that if you try to go fifty inches, God will give match it with fifty more. If you try for eight hours, God will give eight hours more. This is my belief! If you don’t try and think that God will just give it to you, it won’t happen. You have to take your control. You may wait, thinking that tomorrow is another day and will be good. But I keep going NOW!

Do you think you’re lucky? People tell me I’m so lucky to have a building. Lucky? Yes, because God gave me good health so I could work. That is lucky. Let me tell you. Lucky doesn’t come when you sit down and watch TV or take vacations and days off. That doesn’t bring luck. I work hard. Many people don’t like it when you’re happy. I don’t understand that but it’s true. They ask, “Why are you happy and smiling all the time?” I say, “Excuse me? Life is beautiful. Why not smile. You’re alive. Go to hospitals and see how many people are dying. Then you’ll realize how lucky you are.” Is there anyone who has no problems? No. But it depends on what you make of it.

What do people need to understand about being nice to others? Kindness and stupid are very mixed up by many people. If you’re kind, people ask what’s wrong with you. “Why is she nice to me?” Hello! Why do you have to be tough to be a strong woman? Don’t misunderstand kindness.

What does courage mean to you? Strength. I always have strength and am honest. When I pray every night, I thank God for everything up until now and ask for the strength to be a very courageous person. If I don’t have strength, then I’m nobody. So that’s what I always ask God for. Nothing else. I don’t ask for money or other material things. I just want the strength to do it myself. I also get courage from thinking positive. When my daughter says “in case…., if this doesn’t work” I tell her not to say “in case.” Say, “I’m going to do it! That’s the end of the story!” I tell her to say three times—“I can do it! I will do it!”

What does SUCCESS mean to you? It’s funny, because a lot of people think I’m successful. I don’t feel it about my business. My SUCCESS is being happy—having a wonderful husband and three children. That makes everything successful. My SUCCESS is being able to have the freedom to do what I want to do. I can take time off for my family. If I didn’t have the success with the business, I couldn’t do that.

How do you handle fear? I look in the mirror and ask, “Why should I feel fear?” Then I look myself in the eye and say, “God is with me, let’s go!” I do this whenever I feel a little down. I say, “God is with me, why should I feel fear?” Three times. I scream it.

What’s your best advice for achieving a goal? Be patient and don’t ever be negative about it. Don’t think about “If I don’t make it…” If you do that, you’ve already lost. Always be positive. You can’t think—EVER—that you can’t do it. Be positive, be patient, and keep going. It may not come tomorrow but it will one day. When I opened the salon in ’89, I said that in the next decade I’d have success. It didn’t happen in ’91 when 11 people died, or in ’92. But I had the strength to know that it would come. So I kept going. You cannot stop. If you do, that’s it. You have to keep going!

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

Contributing to a Green Christmas

With so much holiday gift giving going on, it's important to think green. I'm delighted to have Christine Kirk, director of the Outdoor Education Center, as my guest to give suggestions for choosing kids' gifts that are environmentally friendly. This week I'll post suggestions for gifts that nurture and many of them are green. Being conscious of buying gren is a gift to YOU, your family and your future.

I’m Dreaming of a Green Christmas
By Christine Kirk

How do you pick eco-friendly toys? If want to buy your kids “green” holiday presents, you have a variety of options:

1. Locally Made: Choose toys made with natural, recycled or easily recyclable materials. Look for leather, wood, organic cotton, metal or fabric. Avoid plastic, which is a non biodegradable petroleum-based product. Buy locally-made if possible. The farther toys must travel to reach stores, the larger their carbon footprints.

2. Long Lasting: Toys that last a long time and are even passed down to younger kids are inherently green. Select toys made with quality materials that are designed to stand the test of time.

3. Recyclable: Unless their components can be recycled, all toys will eventually find their way to the landfill. Those that can be disassembled and then recycled are considered green.
A few of my favorites meet these eco-friendly criteria. They are US-made from natural materials, are sturdy, and they either teach recycling or parts of them can be recycled. They also are educational while providing for fun memories.

Some more specific suggestions are:
• Puzzles: SunsOut Puzzles offers a huge variety of puzzles – many with environment themes. Shop online at. They even use recycled packaging!

• Balance Boards: I recommend those from Indo Boards or Back to Basics Toys. If you have a handyperson in the family, this is an easy toy to make. It includes a sturdy wooden or plastic cylinder and a wooden skateboard-sized board with non-skid strips affixed. Playing with this toy is great exercise and improves balance and muscle control.

• Paper Making: Recycle scrap paper. Any paper without a glossy finish can be torn up and pulped to make new, handmade paper. You can make your own with simple materials or purchase ready-made kits at larger craft supply stores or online. The best-known kits are by Arnold Grummer.

• Kids’ Gardening Kit: A pair of kid-sized gloves, a small trowel, a watering wand, and several packets of plant seeds all placed in a 5-gallon bucket make a great kit. The gift keeps on giving when you help your child to prepare and plant a garden with native plants that will make flowers and seeds wildlife needs. You will be amazed at the variety of birds and butterflies that will find your native garden – whether it is large or small. Some native plants can even be cultivated in pots if you are short on space. Ask your local garden supply store for advice on this.

• Bat and Bird House Kits: These are fun for both boys and girls. You can find lots of ideas and plan sets for bird and bat houses on the Internet. Bat Conservation International has pre-made houses and kits for sale online, as well as downloadable plan sets for people with woodshops in their garages. Providing shelter for birds and bats helps them to overcome habitat loss, and it allows you to view them from your back porch. Bats are especially good for controlling insect populations – each night that bats are active they can eat their own weight in insects.

• Clay: Clay is perhaps the most natural gift you can give. It comes straight from the earth, and has been used for millennia by the most amateur and the most professional artists. Sculpting kits are available from any art supply store, though a ball of clay all by itself can inspire imagination from any young person.

There are many books that can help instill a “green” ethic. Books are nearly endlessly reusable; they can be passed down through generations. Reading is also a great skill to encourage in your kids by giving books that are fun and interesting. Here are a few of my favorites.

Some kids are innately drawn to machines. Encouraging this interest with innovative holiday gifts can bring out the Thomas Edison in them. Innovation in solar and other non-fossil fuel energy is poised to be the next big wave of technological breakthrough, and kids who understand how energy works will have a comparable competitive edge to those who got to play with computers in the 1970s.

• Alternative Energy Kits: Solar car models from Silicon Solar, Inc are designed for a range of ages. They add fun to learning about solar energy by creating opportunities for solar powered races. Alternative energy exploration kits from Sundance Solar allow kids to build an alternative energy house model and to discover the physical properties of solar energy with a complete “Physics Solar Workshop Kit.” These kits are for kids who like things with lots of little pieces. Sundance Solar also makes compact solar chargers for iPods, mobile phones, digital camera, and other rechargeable devices as well as other solar kits and solar-powered toys.

• Balsa Wood Airplane Kits: Perhaps one of the simplest ways to discover stored, potential, and kinetic energy are with balsa wood airplane kits. These kits range from very simple stocking stuffers to more complicated kits that introduce concepts of aerodynamics. Kits from Turner Toys and Guillow are available at local hobby shops, such as the Toy Train Shop in Anaheim, Hobby Central in Dana Point, and Hobby People/Hobby Shack in Fountain Valley, Lake Forest, and Orange. Note: balsa wood comes from trees that grow quickly and that are sustainably harvestable.

Have a happy green holiday season!
----------------------
Christine Kirk is director of the Outdoor Education Center. Her passion for nature and helping people understand the value of preserving Southern California’s natural resources and cultural heritage, combined with proven leadership skills, guides her to develop educational and recreational programs that provide local local youths an outdoor adventure close to home. She's helped create programming for each of the Outdoor Education Center’s three themed camps – Astronomy Camp, Ranch Camp and Mining Camp.

Stay tuned for my gift suggestions this week!

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

Law of Attraction in Action: Moving Past Mistakes and Poor Judgment

This is the 17th post in my series on the Law of Attraction, inspired by watching Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life, the movie, expanded version. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day!

I recently heard from Rob (name changed), a regular reader of my blog who said he definitely was a doormat but aspired “to become a recovering doormat and finally a recovered doormat!!” He said:

I was repeatedly treated unfairly at work, shouted at etc. but never had the courage to speak up. One day I abruptly left my dream job (not the best way to leave a job) and my career just started going downhill. I did not leave in the best possible way, spoke up angrily against the person who tormented me. He was senior and more powerful. It back fired and I lost all connections with my previous employer and to add fuel to the fire, this person got promoted!!

Now things are getting better. But I always have a feeling of loss, feeling of guilt (why didn't I speak up sooner or leave silently), just a feeling of emptiness, embarrassment etc. I get very conscious when I bump into my co-workers from my previous job. I just feel that I am not the same person I used to be. I feel part of me died in the process. I want to get better. I am trying hard and just wanted to let you know that your blogs help me a lot.

I responded to Rob but said I’d write a longer response here. His situation is very common. You get angry at ongoing situations or treatment at work, or by family or neighbors or a romantic partner, etc. but don’t speak up, while stewing silently.

Silence tells the Law of Attraction that the treatment someone gives you is okay. Then it comes back to you with more treatment that you know really isn’t okay.

Each time you’re treated unfairly, a bit more anger builds up. Rob may have reached the boiling point when he abruptly left his “dream job.” Anger buildup fosters poor judgment. It’s hard to see clearly through the haze of feelings it creates.

So he burned bridges by speaking up with his anger, instead of rationally and politely explaining how he felt.

Was that unhappy situation really Rob’s “dream job”? We don’t dream about being treated unfairly or feeling lousy or unappreciated or shouted at, at work. Some of this dream sounds more like a nightmare! There’s more to a dream job than just the actual position. I have clients who defend staying because it’s what they want to do. So they put up with a disrespectful boss, a stressful work environment, hours that are too long to see their families, and more, just to stay in that “dream job.”

Leaving a bad situation is good! When you think of it as empowering, it empowers you. When you beat yourself up for doing it, that’s the energy you attract.

Staying in a job with very negative factors, despite doing work you want to do, is similar to being in a relationship and settling for a partner because he makes you feel complete or is a good financial provider; or she’s great in bed or everyone thinks you have the perfect partner because she’s attractive and a model housekeeper. But if the loving connection that solidifies a good relationship isn’t there, other factors won’t compensate in the long run. Or if he or she is abusive or nasty or controlling or treats you ike a DoorMat, you’re settling to be in a relationship.

It’s the same with work. While you can’t have it all, if your job is what you like doing but the environment is negative or aggravating or toxic, it’s time to leave!

Rob focused too much on the importance of being in that “dream job.” But it’s not a dream if you’re not happy in it. It’s frustrating to love the work but not like how you’re treated. It’s like finding a perfect apartment after looking for ages BUT, the neighbor above you clomps around, disturbing your sleep and peace of mind. Despite all the perks of your living space, you’re not happy from the noise.

If speaking up politely doesn’t change your situation, it’s time to move!

I prefer to speak up first, but nicely, not in a confrontational way. When my upstairs neighbor was noisy, I nicely explained, consistently, how it affected me. His family quieted down. Talk to people at work if things aren’t right. If your boss is unfair, go to him with a list of specific grievances, and a smile. But if none of this works, wake up from your dream and leave. Rob waited for his breaking point. It’s better to leave on good terms.

But, if you do leave after mishandling the situation like Rob did, get rid of the anger and remorse. It’s OVER!! NOW is all that matters and now you have new choices.

You’re living in the past if you wallow in regret, since you can’t change it. Why let it hold you back or hurt yourself more than you already were? That’s YOUR CHOICE, not a sentence! It’s always best to go forward instead of looking back. Otherwise, you can beat yourself up with thoughts like:

* ”Why did I do that?”
* ”That was so stupid of me”
* ”How I wish I could undo what I did!”
* ”Maybe it would be different if I’d……”
* ”Now I’m screwed.”

Meanwhile, the Universe picks up on these thoughts and guess what you get back?!? More of the same thoughts and bad vibes. Looking back with what ifs and regret and wishing you’d done things differently is wasted energy. LEARN from mistakes instead of beating yourself up. Ask:

* How did I speak to the person I alientated? LESSON: “I must force myself to speak more politely next time.” Letting anger motivate your tone creates remorse after. You may have momentary relief at releasing anger, resentment and frustration. But it will turn into thoughts that will bring you down.

* What did I say that caused a problem? LESSON: “I must think and plan before I speak out in a situation that’s important.” Anger creates evil thoughts at the moment it gets unleashed. And it makes you irrational—saying what will later make you look back and think, “what the heck did I do?” If you write down your feelings and figure out words to express them, you can get your point across in more effective ways that eliminate a need to kick yourself in the butt later!

* What’s making me most angry? LESSON: “I must figure out what’s truly causing my anger and address that.” Sometimes you may express what really isn’t the direct cause of your anger. Or you may explode at something insignificant because a bigger issue gnaws at you. Take time to figure out what’s so annoying. Does your boss remind you of a controlling father or romantic partner who criticizes? Or are you angry at yourself for allowing unacceptable behavior to continue for too long?

Once you see the LESSONS in the behavior you regret, let it go and focus on moving forward to make your situation good. Rob still suffers from residuals of leaving his “dream job.” That only results in feeling bad and prevents the Law of Attraction from bringing the good opportunities he deserves. You all deserve the best and would get it if you accept it! I now have. When I was a DoorMat, my thoughts attracted poor treatment and experiences.

It’s hard to feel good if you always feel wrong on some level.

Now that I’ve recovered, I know my worth and EXPECT to have good things happen. The Law of Attraction responds with them. And so to Rob, and all of you who still have this kind of problem, I recommend taking the steps to heal any wounds from guilt or remorse about past mistakes or ill-advised actions:

* Let go of anger. Rob is still angry. The guy who provoked him got a promotion while his life fell apart. But that’s history. Write a letter to the person with every detail about how your feel, express forgiveness, read it aloud and then burn it. When you let go of the anger, you attract more positives. I discuss this in my post, Trading Anger for Compassion.

* Express gratitude for the good lesson. Learning is ALWAYS good! Feel gratitude that you’re more enlightened now. Gratitude attracts more things to be grateful for.

* Adjust any guilt or remorse you feel. IT’S OVER and serves no purpose! Accept that it’s impossible to go back and change what happened. Read my Lightening Guilt Part 1 and Part 2. Rob needs to let go of what ifs. NOW is what counts and NOW you can choose to live your life on a forward track. The embarrassment, shame, guilt, regret you might feel in these kinds of circumstances matters to no one but you. And it just attracts more, unnecessarily. Love yourself enough—however slowly—to let go of it.

* Forgive yourself for being human. Self-forgiveness is CRITICAL for moving on. You may not feel forgiving right now but say to yourself, “I love me enough to forgive me.” Over and over. Self-love takes time to develop but it can in anyone. That’s what fueled my exit from DoorMatville. I hated myself when I began but said, “I love you” in the mirror, even though I didn’t. Eventually it sticks. Then self-forgiveness is easier. Keep trying. It’s worth it!

* Do something nice for you. Be more loving to yourself. Treat YOU to something special. When you do, say “I deserve this!” Being more loving is a good catalyst for self-love. The more self-love you feel, the easier it is to let go of old hurts and regrets. I love me now enough to not want to hurt myself. You can reach this place too!

* Reclaim your spirit. Rob says he feels like he’s not the same person and that part of him died in the process. Sometimes we lose old parts of ourselves. I’m not the girl who got stepped on as a DoorMat. That’s good! But I am still me. Your spirit can feel wounded or lost when you’re looking back at negatives. Push forward! See it as a good thing and as you heal, allow your spirit to blossom on a healthier level.

* Force yourself to walk tall. If you see someone from your past experience, fake confidence and act like you’re doing well. They’ve probably forgotten. If asked how you’re doing, “Terrific!” They get their cues from you. If you show them a positive front, they’ll assume you moved on from the incident. So get movin’!

* Be patient! This is a process. I felt like I was shedding an old skin as I became an empowered woman. It took me years, but there was progress in each little step. Rejoice in each bit instead of wishing for more. Remember that gratitude brings more to be grateful for!

The old DoorMat is gone but I’m still me—in a healthier package—inside and out. I know that Rob can rejuvenate his soul and become a happier person than he was before—just different. Focus on NOW. Be kinder to you NOW. List your good qualities and hold them in your heart as you go after your healthy dreams—living a life you love, in a job that is a dream because you enjoy the work and the people around you, and feeling kindness around you because YOU’re being kind to YOU. Let the Law of Attraction bring you lots of goodies by adjusting your thoughts to bring them in.

Life after being a DoorMat is a process that brings so many rewards. Please join me! ☺

Law of Attraction in Action Series
Law of Attraction in Action: Concrete Use of This Power
Law of Attraction in Action: Service People
Law of Attraction in Action: Kindness
Law of Attraction in Action: Easing Your Way to Joy
Law of Attraction in Action: Smiling in Your Mirror of Other People
Law of Attraction in Action: Age
Law of Attraction in Action: Who Are You?
Law of Attraction in Action: Revenge
Law of Attraction in Action: Too Blessed to Be Stressed
Law of Attraction in Action: Recovering Your Health
Law of Attraction in Action: Respect
Law of Attraction in Action: Miracles Part 1
Law of Attraction in Action: Miracles Part 2
Law of Attraction in Action: Clear Intentions
Law of Attraction in Action: Luck
Law of Attraction in Action: Criticism

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!