Tips, Tools and Perspective for Being More Empowered

Welcome to my self-empowerment blog--as seen in The Huffington Post Guide to Blogging! I used to be a wimp and never got taken seriously. When I became one of the first chicks to start a record label, I learned to navigate the male dominated music industry and earned respect, without raising my voice or getting overtly tough. I transferred those skills into all areas of life and now get what I want from most people. I'll share those lessons here by talking about my observations of situations and habits that hold both men and women back from being as empowered as possible. I'll also give tips for more effective communication, handling yourself with more confidence, and in general, how to come across as more serious--whether it's at work, dealing with an annoying phone company, your mother, a romantic partner and anyone else you want to feel more in control with. Everybody can use more tools for taking control of their lives, like in my latest book, Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill). Please subscribe if you'd like more!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Law of Attraction in Action: Concrete Use of This Power


This is the first in a series on using the Law of Attraction. There’s been a lot of hype about it lately. When Oprah did some shows when the book and DVD, The Secret, came out, it sold like crazy. Many people are looking for easy answers and ways to get what they want. The idea of expressing what you want, and getting it, is very appealing.

But using the Law of Attraction isn’t nearly as simple as The Secret made it look. Nor is it a secret!

The people in The Secret DVD didn’t invent or discover the Law of Attraction. My “idol,” Louise Hay, wrote about it in 1984, in her book, You Can Heal Your Life. When I read this book, I began life as I know it today. It made me realize that I lived a spiritual lifestyle because when I expected things to happen from my heart, they did.

The book emphasizes that we get back what we give out. Our thoughts control what happens to us and what we get. It was a wakeup call that could shatter the earthquake Richter scale. I devoured its pages as light bulbs went off, then bells and whistles woke me up completely. That was when the DoorMat fully found her power! Since then, I’ve used the Law of Attraction to shed my DoorMat layers and become a very empowered woman.

So I watched The Secret DVD after seeing it on Oprah. I was curious. And I learned a lot.

But I do think it’s misleading in how they make getting what you want sound so easy. I wasn’t a novice when I watched, so I could take from it what was helpful. Someone looking for a quick fix might watch, wish for something, and then give up when it didn’t work.

Now Louise Hay has put out her own DVD, You Can Heal Your Life, the movie, expanded version. It’s simple and a lot clearer. It doesn’t have the drama of a little boy wishing for a bicycle and getting it. The expanded movie has talks by a variety of people I admire. It’s a lot cheaper than The Secret, yet it has the bonus input from people I hold in high esteem, including Wayne Dyer, Christiane Northrup and Esther Hicks. They and many more are in the movie too! Louise Hay narrates it all in her soothing voice.

Louise Hay’s movie bought me back to my spiritual roots. In loving tones, expert after expert shares their wisdom. It reminded me of some tools that I already know but don’t remember to use. Reading or watching something once can be very helpful. Reading and watching more than once reinforces the principles. Over the next few weeks I’ll share some of the lessons on this DVD and how I’ve used them for my benefit. Since watching it, I’ve decided that I must learn all I can and focus on implementing what I learn.

One thing I was reminded of is to change my perception of what seems like a negative situation.

The morning after my conscious was raised, I got an email from the agent for my last book, with the subject saying, “Bad news. This is awful.” Before I read the message, I affirmed that the news would be good. When I opened it, I learned a writer had questioned the need for my book in her newspaper column. It’s a popular paper and she has a popular column. My first response was ouch!

Then I remembered my lesson and looked for the good in the situation.

The writer didn’t trash the book. She just didn’t think it was necessary. So it wasn’t negative! I wrote the agent back saying that I was blessed to have this article about the book. While it wasn’t positive, it did make a lot of people aware of my title. And I expected something good to come from it. An hour tater, l began to get emails from people who heard Howard Stern talking about my book! Robin had read the article and mentioned the title on air. That began a discussion about it. Nothing negative. Just talking about the book itself.
I expected it to become a positive and it really did!

Coincidence? Skeptics think so. But I know that expecting a positive from that seemingly negative situation made it happen. I’ve done it many times every since. MANY! Looking for the blessing in all situations helps you to find them. Next time something negative happens to you, use affirmations to turn it around:

• “Everything will work out for my highest good.
• “Everything happens for a reason. Whatever will be will be.”
• “Out of this only good will come.”

You can turn situations around with your thoughts if you consciously choose to. Look for the good in what you don’t like. There’s always something. Many years ago, before I was published, I’d written a book and got a top agent to rep me. She said there would probably be a bidding war on my book and was asking for 6 figures. She suggested I buy a good, conservative suit to wear to meetings with potential editors. So I did, even though it wasn’t my style, I dropped $300 on one she liked.

I go very excited and told everyone I knew. Six figures seemed like a lot so I thought about what I’d do with that money. But it all fell through. Kaboom! No offers. Not one.

I was devastated—for a few hours. In the past it would have made me give up and be depressed, living in a “why me?” mentality. But after licking my wounds, I affirmed that it happened for a reason and I’d discover it when the time as right. I’ve learned to look back to find reasons for things I don’t like happen. It may take a while but I ALWAYS find the reason. ALWAYS! Finding reasons for why things didn’t go the way you wanted you to allows you to create more blessings.

Finding reasons also helps reinforce accepting that everything happens for a reason. Now that I believe it with all my heart, I can relax if things don’t go my way.

Not getting a book deal felt like a setback at first. I was speaking often and attendees wanted to buy my book. Since I didn’t get a book deal, over the next year I created 6 self-empowerment print newsletters so I’d have something to sell. It forced me to learn how to do graphics on my computer and I designed a really nice publication. People subscribed. I wrote articles I felt proud of. Doing it helped me truly find my writing voice. I wrote for my readers, not for an agent or publisher. Doing this newsletter gave me the confidence to pursue my writing career harder.

I'm selling them out for 8 bucks for all 6, including postage (original price was $18.50). If you're interested, email me at daylle@daylle.com to find out how to get them. They were my magic wands, the first step towards my freedom to do what I wanted.

It took over a year but I found several reasons for not getting a book deal: I was meant to write the newsletter first, to define my writing voice more clearly. Later, I realized that I was glad I didn’t write the original book. It would have sent me in a different direction and I love the one I’m in now!

Find the reasons for why your life takes a path you don’t like. Look back and figure out what blessings came out of what seemed negative. If you look, you’ll find them. Part of using the Law of Attraction is accepting that good can come out of anything. That allows your life to flow peacefully, instead of getting stressed out about life’s road bumps. If you want a real spiritual treat, pick up You Can Heal Your Life, the movie, expanded version. You can watch the movie itself or when you need a shorter reinforcement, watch one of Louise’s guests give a talk. This double CD packs a huge punch for a lot less than The Secret. It takes you on a clearer path too, to find your way to using the Law of Attraction effectively.

Stay tuned for more posts on this topic.

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

16 comments:

Becky said...

Some good things to try to work into my routine Daylle. Thanks!

Daylle Deanna Schwartz said...

Glad you can use it Becky!

Pat Miran said...

I liked The Secret but couldn't make it work for me. This DVD sounds like it might be a better way to learn. thanks!

Daylle Deanna Schwartz said...

Enjoy manifesting Pat! : )

Mental Perception said...

Hello...I just love dropping in onto your blog! I read atleast 20 articles a day...I also have some of the best ones on my site too. Well, I would like for you to come and visit me sometimes and leave a comment...check me out at http://subliminalmentalperception.com hope to see you there!

Mental Perception

Daylle Deanna Schwartz said...

Thanks for your very kind words! I'll drop by yours.

Jenn said...

Daylle, What a beautiful post. Thank you for reminding us that we ARE in charge and that we have complete control... it may not always seem like it, but we do. I started my day with your post, and I'm so glad I did - what a great way to start a great Monday!

Warmly,
Jenn

Daylle Deanna Schwartz said...

Thanks for your very kind words Jenn! Happy to help start your day nicely. : )

Heather C. said...

Thanks for sharing your life and inspiration through your blog!

Daylle Deanna Schwartz said...

Thanks for stopping by Heather, and for letting me know you appreciate my blog!

LLnL said...

I'm so excited...I can't wait to learn how to use LOA...Thank you!

Daylle Deanna Schwartz said...

Enjoy manifesting! : )

Lynne said...

Hi Daylle,
I just found your blog kind of by accident. I posted a link to it from my blog at http://alaskainmydreams.wordpress.com Hope that is ok.
I just read your first post about the Law of Attraction, and I'll be reading ALL of them until I am done. I can really identify with your writing style and your outlook on life.
Many thanks.
Lynne Schlumpf

Daylle Deanna Schwartz said...

Hi Lynne,

Thanks so much for letting me know you find my blog helpful and for letting others know about it. I want EVERYONE possible to benefit from the power we all have in us.

Priscilla said...

I came accross your blog by chance and I simply love it! I have just read some of your articles and I really have a good feeling that its gonna get better :) Thanks for inspiring me. I make it a point to come to your blog daily and want to complete reading all your articles on Law of Attraction in Action. Its too good ;) I actively wanna make a change in life and your thoughts and sharing is helping me. Keep the spirit flowing. Go to your destiny!

Daylle Deanna Schwartz said...

Thanks for letting me know this Priscilla. I feel very blessed from everyone who benefits from this blog and my books.