Tips, Tools and Perspective for Being More Empowered

Welcome to my self-empowerment blog! I used to be a wimp and never got taken seriously. When I became one of the first chicks to start a record label, I learned to navigate the male dominated music industry and earned respect, without raising my voice or getting overtly tough. I transferred those skills into all areas of life and now get what I want from most people. I'll share those lessons here by talking about issues in the media, old stereotypes, and my observations of situations and habits that hold both men and women back from being as empowered as possible. I'll also give tips for more effective communication, handling yourself with more confidence, and in general, how to come across as more serious--whether it's at work, dealing with an annoying phone company, your mother, a romantic partner and anyone else you want to feel more in control with. Everybody can use more tools for taking control of their lives. Please subscribe if you'd like more!

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Guilt Free Ice Cream Pig Out


I talked to a woman yesterday as I waited on line in the bank. She seemed agitated and told me the pizza she’d had for lunch was haunting her. Indigestion? I asked. Nope. Guilt was ruining her day and the memory of the ONE slice of pizza she’d eaten. ONE slice!

I asked what was wrong with eating it? She looked horrified and moaned about how she needed to lose weight and that she was a bad girl for going off her diet. Now mind you, I didn’t know her. But she picked her shirt up a few inches to show me what she perceived of as rolls of fat. She looked perfectly fine to me. Then she told me how fattening pizza is. And how many points it has.

Points! I give pizza 10 points, because it’s so yummy. Her points were negative.

She was miserable. When I eat pizza, I’m happy after.

I reassured her to no avail and could see that slice of pizza was stuck in her throat as she punished herself for eating it. Why do that to yourself? Why ruin a treat by playing guilt over and over in your head? When I have a food treat, I relax, enjoy it thoroughly and savor the joy afterwards.

Then I try to balance my eating so it doesn’t end up on my hips.

There was no consoling this woman about her pizza remorse. So I told her about my pig out last week when Baskin Robbins had a 31 cents a scoop night. YUM! She looked at me like I was an alien when I told her how I gleefully went to the nearest one. After all, I’m not perfectly thin. Her look questioned, “How dare you go near ice cream at your size?!”

I just smiled and told her how I ordered a one-scoop cone, then saw the cups had lids and ended up getting 3 scoops to take home in cups. I was actually good! They allowed up to 10 scoops.

In my “defense” [LOL], the scoops were small. There’s no way I’d have paid full price for what I got. As I ate the cone walking home, it didn't feel like enough. Since it was small, I felt unfulfilled and ate one more scoop when I got home. Then I had a very low calorie but healthy dinner—a salad, with a little low fat dressing, some chick peas and a piece of whole grain bread with no spread.

But those other 2 scoops called me. And called me till I responded.

I slowly ate one more for dessert. As I finished the third, I thought about the lone scoop still in the freezer. Would it be satisfying on its own at another time? After all, it was a small scoop. So I ate the fourth scoop of ice cream, GUILT-FREE, with gusto and great pleasure! And then they were gone and I haven’t had ice cream since.

The pizza-guilt lady couldn’t understand how I could look back on my ice cream pig out with pleasure, and NO guilt.

She expressed consternation at my attitude and tried to convince me I was bad for doing it. Hello! I didn’t gain an ounce and thoroughly enjoyed my ice cream. What’s wrong with that I asked her? She stumbled on her words. “You’re not supposed to eat like that.” was the best she could do. So sad! Many women have convinced themselves that eating anything that’s fattening is a terrible thing and merits punishment by guilt. That’s plain old WRONG!

While I’m against regular marathon pig outs, occasional ones rock!

Life is for living, not avoiding pleasure. While there’s lots of pleasurable things that aren’t related to food, eating is a pleasure that shouldn’t be ignored. Controlled, YES! Abstained from? NO! I don’t bring unlimited pig out foods home. I know me and what I can’t resist. I didn’t get the full 10 scoops. Four was my limit and I didn’t go back to buy more, which would have been easy. When something is here, I know that I could eat it all at once, or stretch it out. I accept that once it’s gone, I won’t have it again for quite a while.

So it’s my choice to eat it all now or have some, or none, for later.

Moderation is the key to healthy eating---NOT wholesale self-denial. I do eat healthy as a lifestyle but allow myself what the pizza-guilt lady would consider guilty pleasures. While she ruins her pleasure, I have them sans guilt. I know I can’t bring large amounts of very fattening treats home. I buy once slice of pizza, not a whole pie. I'm aware of what I can’t resist eating lots of if it's there, so I don't have a lot of it around. Once in a while I crave salty chips and go to a store on my block that sells teeny bags for 50 cents. I only buy one and eat the small bag of chips slowly, with total enjoyment.

Allowing yourself occasional treats takes the edge off of regular cravings. I think it helps to resist at other times. Guilt just ruins the treat while you still take in the calories. I'd bet the pizza-guilt lady is usually unhappy. What the point of that? If you go to a party, enjoy indulging and then go home to healthier food. Pig outs rock when they’re just occasional!

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4 comments:

Ellen said...

this is great! Even in the diabetic classes now, they do not teach that you have to avoid sweets or certain foods as they use to. They say to count calories or carbs and it is the total that is important--If you have the ice cream then you cannot have much else ---only a few carbs will be left--the other thing they teach is to share the ice cream with someone else -or only eat half-and save the rest for another meal---spread it out over the day---do not eat it all at once. but it can be done and you are still eating health--no guilt!

Daylle Deanna Schwartz said...

Thanks for sharing Ellen!

AngieB said...

I sooooo relate to this. Sometimes I just want to let go and eat what I want. I'm going to do it once in a while. Thanks for the enlightenment.

Daylle Deanna Schwartz said...

Enjoy it Angie. Just know when it's over. : )