Tips, Tools and Perspective for Being More Empowered

Welcome to my self-empowerment blog--as seen in The Huffington Post Guide to Blogging! I used to be a wimp and never got taken seriously. When I became one of the first chicks to start a record label, I learned to navigate the male dominated music industry and earned respect, without raising my voice or getting overtly tough. I transferred those skills into all areas of life and now get what I want from most people. I'll share those lessons here by talking about my observations of situations and habits that hold both men and women back from being as empowered as possible. I'll also give tips for more effective communication, handling yourself with more confidence, and in general, how to come across as more serious--whether it's at work, dealing with an annoying phone company, your mother, a romantic partner and anyone else you want to feel more in control with. Everybody can use more tools for taking control of their lives, like in my latest book, Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill). Please subscribe if you'd like more!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Dancing Through the Holiday Season


I was recently interviewed for First Wives World by its founder, Debbie Nigro. The topic was 5 Ways to Stay Positive During the Holidays.

My first suggestion? Why worry about staying positive when the holidays are fun!?! So, dance through them, even if you don’t have a romantic partner.

We often use a romantic partner as a barometer for whether or not we’re happy or having fun. That’s so self-defeating! If you’ve recently divorced or broken up with a partner, you might be feeling down. So start dancing! It’s YOUR life. Why ruin it with what ifs or anger toward your ex? The first New Years eve after my divorce, a friend I was supposed to have dinner with called to say she’d gathered some articles about how rotten men could be so we could spend the night male bashing. She thought that would make me happy!

Why on earth think that a negative discussion could bring joy?? Yet so many folks indulge in stoking anger instead of getting rid of it. I told my friend to leave the articles, or herself, home. : )

I LOVE men! Malebashing is far from my objectives!

Why not enjoy the holidays solo, even if there’s no one special in your life? I sure do! Right now I’m not dating anyone. Not one guy! But that’s MY CHOICE, not my sentence. I’m currently writing several books, doing my end of year cleaning, and many other things. I definitely have room for a man, but only the RIGHT one. If a guy isn’t worth my time, I won’t give up my other activities for him!

I’m open minded about meeting guys. But, if he bores me from the get-go and I feel NO connection, it isn’t worth the free meal some women say they go out for. I can cook well, or take myself to a restaurant! It’s not worth spending an evening with someone when I have so many other things I love to do. My connection needs to be mental. Of course I want to find him attractive, but I’ve passed on hot guys who didn’t do it to me on other levels.

When I can have a great intelligent conversation with a guy, it’s a bigger turn-on on than looking at a hot airhead.

So I’m dancing through the holiday season. Enjoying friends and family. And enjoying time with my favorite person—ME! : ) When I was a DoorMat, being alone for even a day gave me chills of fear. Now I look forward to it. My biggest advice on Debbie’s show was what I give in all my books—If you want to be happy, get a life! My life extends into the holiday season. I’ve stopped hanging with negative folks too, which leaves me much more energy. If I get negative solo, I’m the one responsible. Since I love me, I try not to do that.

So for this week and beyond, I’ll be celebrating me and my acceptance of the life I love, with or without a romantic partner. I wish you all a fun-filled dance through the holidays!

If you’d like to see my interview with Debbie Nigro of First Wives World, check out
5 Ways to Stay Positive During the Holidays

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2 comments:

Becky said...

I was getting a bit down since I don't have a boyfriend during the holidays but now I'm changing my attitude. I do want to try to dance through the holidays, with ME! Thanks for the motivation Daylle!

Daylle Deanna Schwartz said...

I'm so happy to hear that I motivated you to dance through the holidays. So much better than feeling down!