Tips, Tools and Perspective for Being More Empowered

Welcome to my self-empowerment blog--as seen in The Huffington Post Guide to Blogging! I used to be a wimp and never got taken seriously. When I became one of the first chicks to start a record label, I learned to navigate the male dominated music industry and earned respect, without raising my voice or getting overtly tough. I transferred those skills into all areas of life and now get what I want from most people. I'll share those lessons here by talking about my observations of situations and habits that hold both men and women back from being as empowered as possible. I'll also give tips for more effective communication, handling yourself with more confidence, and in general, how to come across as more serious--whether it's at work, dealing with an annoying phone company, your mother, a romantic partner and anyone else you want to feel more in control with. Everybody can use more tools for taking control of their lives, like in my latest book, Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill). Please subscribe if you'd like more!

Monday, November 5, 2007

Turning a Negative to Positive with Just a Thought


Chris at www.soupornuts.com tagged me to participate in the Think Different Challenge created by Peter from I Will Change Your Life.com. This is all about finding something in your life you currently have negative thoughts or feelings toward and deciding to look at it differently.

I include suggestions on changing thoughts in all of my writing because it’s such a powerful tool. When I was a DoorMat, my glass was always half empty. My overall perception of life was negative. No matter what was going on, I’d find a way to allow it to bring me down much more than necessary. Then I read Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life. And it didn’t just heal my life—it gave me a positive one!

Ms. Hay says, “If you can change the way you think, you can change your life.

I’ve met her 3 times since I embraced the lessons of her book and interviewed her for an article. Since then, I see my life as a series of blessings and it helps me reap the benefits of the Law of Attraction. I now think before I think. Okay, that sounds weird, but I watch my thoughts more before I put them out. I’ve become so aware of how my thoughts affect my life. Not because of books anymore, but because I live it. The more I see it work in my life, the more I use it!

One way I turn negatives into positive is by refusing to accept the obvious.

My favorite way of dealing with obvious negatives is to say firmly, “I know how this looks but I refuse to accept it!”


It didn’t matter that everyone said my car’s oil leak was under its motor mounts when I broke down driving across the country. I heard gloomy assessments from men who stopped to help and the mechanics I went to. No doubt it was a job that would take days and cost a fortune. Well I didn’t have days or extra cash. The first 2 mechanics said they couldn’t even do it. I asked them to call others. They finally called Bob, at Bob’s Auto in Streetsboro, OH where we were stranded. He agreed to help right away, bless his heart!

My intention was for miracles—a minor inconvenience instead of a major problem.

Bob agreed with the diagnosis of a serious problem. All the while I kept saying, “I know how bad this looks but refuse to accept that it’s a major job to fix the car.” When I told that to Bob, he looked at me like I was a bit crazy not to accept the obvious. I told God that night that I was counting on Him to support my intention. Bob called in the morning, in shock. Seems he found a crack in an oil pan that caused all the problems and fixed it easily. The car was fine! All those guys who knew better than me said one thing but the conviction in my thoughts manifested a better outcome.

I do this all the time to have better weather than forecasted when I need it. I’ve refused to accept a predicted snowstorm on the day of a seminar I was giving and it was sunny. “I know that a snowstorm is headed for New York but I refuse to accept that it will come this weekend.” Then I hear the weatherman talk of a crazy fluke that sent the storm out to sea.

Recently, my doc found a lump in my breast. She was worried and implored me to get it checked fast. I just babbled on about how I was fine. Doc said I should take it seriously. I did, but refused to accept that it could be cancer. Absolutely refused and said it was nothing. I truly believed it! She was perturbed that I wasn’t upset or asking lots of questions. I had to wait ten days to see a radiologist. I only told my sister because I didn’t want to create drama for nothing.

I kept thanking God for my good health and cancer-free body. I went for the mammogram with the belief it was nothing. The radiologist confirmed that!

Too often situations appear and we go with the flow, even if the tide is going in a troubled direction. When you expect results based on what circumstances indicate, you become a self-fulfilling prophecy—acceptance of a situation becomes your truth. The weatherman predicts rain and you expect it to happen. Watch out because it’s a bad flu season! People wait to get sick. I expect to stay healthy and do. My glass is always half full instead of half empty. After 9/11, people were depressed about how terrible our world was. I walked through the streets of New York and rejoiced in all the wonderful people who came together to help victims and get the city back on its feet.

I believe with all my heart that God wants us to have positive experiences and rewards. Therefore, my strong faith makes me challenge what seems like obvious outcomes. When I’m staunch in my refusal to believe the obvious, God never lets me down. When you believe that a bad outcome is inevitable, it is. When you refuse to accept it no matter what circumstances suggest, you open yourself to more positive results.

I tag these bloggers to be part of this challenge:
Lorraine Cohen at Powerfull Living
Tina Su at Think Simple, Be Decisive
Gamy Rachel Mind Think Success

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15 comments:

Peter said...

Daylle,

Thanks for participating in the Think Different Challenge. This is such an inspiring story and is exactly the type of story I was hoping to read when I put the challenge out.

Peter

ps I always love to hear about great books - I'll check that one you mention at the start of the article out.

Daylle Deanna Schwartz said...

Hi Peter,

I'm delighted to participate. Learning to think different has become my lifestyle and got me to where I am today.

I hope you enjoy getting familiar with Louise Hay. I wouldn't be where I am now had I not read her book. Her others are great too!

Cheers,
Daylle

Gamy Rachel said...

Hello Daylle,

Thank you for tagging me. Gee.. Tristan Loo has also tagged me to play this edition. Hmm.. shall take up the challenge for both :)

I am on Daylle. Will let you know once it is done.

Blessings
Gamy

Daylle Deanna Schwartz said...

Great Gamy! I'm sure you'll do well for both of us.

Thanks!
Daylle

Gamy Rachel said...

Hi again Daylle,

I have published the post
"A Seemingly Negative Move Has Brought Me FREEDOM !" at my blog

http://www.mindthinksuccess.com/self-confidence/a-seemingly-negative-move-has-brought-me-freedom

Thanks for including me.

Have a Blessed Sunshine day
Gamy Rachel

cfmelton said...

This is a fantastic post. It's almost as if you can read my thoughts. Like you, I simply refuse to have a bad day, or be involved in someone else's bad day. Thanks for participating and sharing such a powerful message.

Gamy Rachel said...

Oops, the link seems broken, I hope this one is fine..

http://www.mindthinksuccess.com/self-confidence/a-seemingly-negative-move-has-brought-me-freedom

Gamy

Brad Baggett said...

You are so correct in your thoughts Daylle. I also refuse to accept the obvious sometimes. I will definitely be checking out Louise Hay’s book. I found your site through Chris Melton, and have really enjoyed keeping up with your articles.

www.JuiceofChampions.com

Daylle Deanna Schwartz said...

Hi Brad,

Thanks for your supportive words! I posted my interview with Louise Hay last night. Her books and audio materials are inspiring.

Cheers,
Daylle

Mike Pedersen Golf said...

What a great post! The mind is so powerful if we use it correctly. I am working on that daily now. I love your phrase, "I refuse to accept it". That is profound.

Daylle Deanna Schwartz said...

Hi Mike,

Thanks for letting me know that you related to my post. If we all refused to accept certain supposed truths, the world could be a lot better. I created this principle on my journey and include it in my books.

Cheers,
Daylle

Hueina Su said...

Daylle:

I can relate to your experience with the breast lump. I had to take several follow-up tests which ended up taking me 2 months. The waiting was nerve-wrecking! Everyday I kept visualizing that my breasts are clear and thank the Universe for my great health. The last test finally came back and I was cleared from cancer. :)

Thank you for sharing this beautiful post with Carnival of Healing #111 edition, which is posted at Intensive Care for the Nurturer's Soul.

Blessings,
Hueina

Daylle Deanna Schwartz said...

Hi Hueina,

Thanks for your kind words and for sharing how you conquered the possibility of having cancer. I'm glad you're okay and experienced how powerful it is to put your faith in the Universe.

Cheers,
Daylle

Tom Volkar said...

I deeply appreciate this post. Although I more than hold my own in most life areas, I do tend to accept physical limitations. You inspire me to begin refusing to accept negative medical possibilities. Thank you.

Daylle Deanna Schwartz said...

Thanks for your kind words Tom! I've overcome or negated other potential physical ailments with strong determination and refusal to accept the obvious. My faith is so strong that I can surrender my health and know it will be good.