Tips, Tools and Perspective for Being More Empowered

Welcome to my self-empowerment blog--as seen in The Huffington Post Guide to Blogging! I used to be a wimp and never got taken seriously. When I became one of the first chicks to start a record label, I learned to navigate the male dominated music industry and earned respect, without raising my voice or getting overtly tough. I transferred those skills into all areas of life and now get what I want from most people. I'll share those lessons here by talking about my observations of situations and habits that hold both men and women back from being as empowered as possible. I'll also give tips for more effective communication, handling yourself with more confidence, and in general, how to come across as more serious--whether it's at work, dealing with an annoying phone company, your mother, a romantic partner and anyone else you want to feel more in control with. Everybody can use more tools for taking control of their lives, like in my latest book, Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill). Please subscribe if you'd like more!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Double Standard Alert: Half Naked Guys Fine! Bikini Topped Girls Banned


I’m getting very tired of seeing double standards against females sanctioned. Guys are still the princes of society in many circles and get away with so much more! Females are held to much higher standards in many situations. This was illustrated in Bradenton, FL on Friday night when Jessyca Altenbach and Monica Cummings, seniors at Manatee High School decided to show their school spirit at a home football game in the same way that boys do.

BUT, unlike the boys, they were forced to leave the stadium. Their crime: wearing shorts and bikini tops and painting their bodies the school colors.

It’s okay for guys to come to games completely shirtless, with painted chests, their pants hanging down and their boxers or butts hanging out. That what guys do. Jessyca and Monica weren’t as exposed. They had on bikini tops. Their vitals were covered. No nipples or butt cracks showing, something not uncommon with guys. But Margi Nanney, the spokesperson for the Manatee County School district said they got complaints that from afar the girls looked like they were naked and found it offensive. Hello! They weren’t naked and were less exposed than many painted males.

Cheerleaders are acceptable in often teeny skirts that reveal cheerleader panties when they jump and twirl. That's considered okay. Guys get turned on watching these scantily clad girls climb on each others shoulders and dance. That's okay! But different isn't!

Boys do more as they please and get away with much of it. “Boys will be boys!” Girls are expected to be pristine.

These girls asked a school resource officer for permission ahead of time and he said he saw nothing wrong with it. While school officials said there were many complaints, the girls say they were greeted warmly. They never saw a single person upset by their appearance.

I’m not saying there were no complaints. There will always be people with gripes. I can understand why some folks didn’t like seeing girls whose bikini tops were painted the same color as their bodies. But I’d bet a lot that when guys first began showing up to events shirtless and painted, there were plenty of complaints that were pooh-poohed, the way complaints against the girls should have been.

To say that girls who have no sexual body parts exposed must cover up while boys freely roam shirtless is sexual discrimination.

We need to be more vigilant about separate standards that exclude females from behavior that’s accepted in guys. Otherwise, it can begins with something small like this and escalate into more rigid differences if it isn’t addressed immediately. People may not like the way some girls dress, but that doesn’t make it wrong. I’m sometimes appalled by the tight, short skirts I see on young girls and want to smack their mothers for allowing it. But I don’t. We can set moral standards at home with our own kids. But opinions aren’t laws or rules. There must be the same set for everyone.

It’s unfair to set double standards for girls who aren’t breaking any rules.

I’ve read accounts about this that make the issue more about being at a school function in proper attire. While I agree that schools have the right to make rules, these rules were different between the sexes. Either shirts should be on or off. Personally, I think it was all funny. The girls looked cute—feminine versions of the maniac football fan. Those who were offended probably have issues with many standards and have a hard time getting their heads out of their rears. Or maybe it was just a few prissy school personnel projecting their own moral values onto those in the stands.

Either way, the girls broke no rules and are owed a public apology, and a refund for their tickets.

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3 comments:

Sally said...

Daylle, This is a great post -- and an important one, not only for this specific instance but for the overall double standard that still exists for women young & old. Keep it up!

Sally

Sally said...

This is an important post, not only in this specific instance, but generally, since the double standard is still strong for girls & women of all ages! Keep it up!

Daylle Deanna Schwartz said...

Thanks Sally! Part of what I intend to do with my blog is to show how celebrities and others in the news keep us from empowering ourselves. Many of these things hurt men also, by pushing them in directions they may not want to go in.

Cheers